“I’m sorry.” Bree reached to squeeze Emma’s knee. “That has to feel horrible, with your little one on the way now.”
“It breaks my heart that my baby’s never going to know his grandpa. And after Dad died, Sean was even more determined to be the man Dad raised him to be.” Emma’s eyes filled with tears. “Wants to be just like him, you know? A good doctor, a loving husband and the world’s best father.”
Bree’s throat closed, and she couldn’t think of a thing to say in response. How much Sean wanted a family of his own had become painfully, fatally clear, but she hadn’t realized until this moment how much that desire was tied up with his love for his dad, and his mother, too. Bree might not know anything about having the world’s best father, but she did know with certainty that Sean would be amazing at all those things, even though she couldn’t be a part of it. “I wish I’d known your dad.”
“Me, too. He was special.” A deep sigh left Emma’s chest. “So that’s part of the reason Sean was so happy to think he was going to be settling down with you and eventually having a family. Since that didn’t...turn out so well, I want to help him find that. Be happy again. I’m not sure he’s gone on any dates yet, so I’m going to be nagging him about it.”
Bree wanted to say, Well, thanks a lot for that, you traitor, but knew that would sound ridiculous and awful, under the circumstances.
She drew a long, slow breath. There didn’t seem to be much else to say on that depressing subject, and she forced a teasing tone to change it. “Think that volleyball belly will make you feel right at home on the beach?” She knew the game had been one of Emma’s favorite pastimes and wanted to steer the conversation somewhere light, away from distressing thoughts of Emma’s dad, and of Sean and their spectacular breakup. Away from visions of him with other women that dredged up memories and emotions better left deeply buried.
“Yeah. Except I’ll be the proverbial beached whale on the sidelines, not a player,” Emma said, smiling again. “Don’t tell Sean, but I admit being home always makes me feel good. It’ll help me get back into shape in no time. With the bike path on the bay right outside Sean’s place and not too far from Mom’s, I’ll be able to easily run with a stroller.”
Bree opened her mouth to say she’d love to join her, then shut it again. It seemed impossible that she’d be moving in just over a week, and she couldn’t deny that a part of her kept thinking about how things might have been different.
Over and done with. In the past, and her new job would be a step up. Right? It would.
Maybe her expression was saying something she didn’t want it to, because Emma tipped her head. “You really have to move to Honolulu? I mean, now? I wish you could be here when the baby’s born.”
“I wish I could be, too. But they need me to start soon because an ER doc is leaving. And it’s a good opportunity.”
“Not sure I believe it could be any better than here.”
“It’s a university Level One Trauma hospital,” Bree said. “With a chance to move into the emergency department director’s position at some point. Plus you know it’s important to me to take part in the bigger surf competitions. Living in Hawaii will make that easier.”
“Hmm. I suppose. Though you managed to do that living in San Diego.” Emma raised one eyebrow. “Truth. Are you moving because of Sean?”
“Of course not. We found out we’re not right for one another before we made the mistake of making it permanent. It’s a good thing.” Not that it had felt very good at the time, but she’d managed to move on. Pretty much.
“And all those reasons you came up with for it not working out between you two are a crock, if you ask me. So he likes to be in charge and is used to taking care of people, and you don’t need taking care of. So, what? Your independence is one of the things he loved about you, even if he wouldn’t admit it.”
“I don’t think so. It was one of the things about me that bugged him.”
“Wrong, and I know so.” Emma folded her arms across her chest, and Bree could feel her staring hard at her. “Another thing Dad said to Sean before he died? He asked him to take care of me and Mom. Yeah, that’s sexist, but he loved us and worried how it would be without him. And Sean was about as rock solid a support as a person can be for us, even when he got aggravated with me. Who in their right mind doesn’t want a guy who cares about you that way?”
“You, for one.” Bree stared in disbelief before turning back to the road. “You’ve bitterly complained about Sean wanting to take care of you, badgering you instead of letting you live your life the way you want to.”
“He’s my brother, not my boyfriend. So maybe he did a little too much trying to take Dad’s place, but, even when it made me mad, I always knew it was because he loves me. There’s such a thing as being independent to a fault, you know.” Her hand waved around dismissively. “And part of the breakup being because you wanted to run off and elope when he wanted a big wedding with all our extended family here, and all the cousins and kids dancing and everyone having fun? Plain stupid. Don’t tell me you two couldn’t have figured out a way around that.”
“You’re forgetting even bigger things,” Bree said. Why were they hashing over all this again? Probably because she and Emma hadn’t talked about it since she and Sean had first broken up, and one more round of torture was inevitable. “I wanted a no-care condo so we could be free to go to surf competitions and all the other traveling I need to do, and he wanted a bigger house with a yard, a cat and a dog tying us down.”
And kids. The biggest thing of all. The one thing there was no way to compromise about.
“I know being independent is important to you. I get that having pets and children would make that harder. But maybe as time went on, you’d feel differently. Haven’t I had to do things differently than I thought? Move back home for a while, when I never thought I’d do that?” Her hands cupped her belly in a gesture filled with tenderness. “My baby wasn’t planned,” she said softly. “But I can tell you I’d do anything for him, and he’s not even here yet. So tell me why you’re so sure you don’t want kids.”
“Let’s just say my family dynamics and relationships with my parents convinced me.” It was past time to change the subject, but before she could say anything more, a monstrous delivery truck moved into her peripheral vision, running through the red light into the intersection, straight toward Emma’s side of the car.
“Hang on!” she yelled, her heart doing triple time as she swerved into what little space seemed free. Inches between her lane and the one filled with oncoming traffic. Got half a car length between them and the truck. Saw it bearing down on them, behind Emma now. But not far enough. In what seemed like bizarrely slow motion, she watched it slam into the back-seat door with a bone-jarring impact. Shoved them into the next lane of cars with another deafening screech of metal.
Emma’s screams tore through Bree’s very soul. Then it was dark.
* * *
“Which room? Is it ready?” Bree ran through the ambulance entry of the ER, hanging on to the gurney carrying Emma that was being steered by two of the EMTs who’d responded to the accident. Clutching the bar like a lifeline, as though if she just held on tight enough, Emma would be okay.
“Which room?” she repeated hoarsely. Bree’s throat felt so dry and tight she was surprised she’d managed to get a single word out, but even one second of time lost might be too much.
“Trauma Two!” a nurse shouted back.
Bree pivoted that direction along with the gurney, using her free hand to swipe at the blood dripping into her eye. She scrubbed her hand down the side of what had been a new blue