This time she found her voice. ‘Nathaniel—’
‘Are those your pictures of me?’ He stared at the pile of magazines that she’d stacked by the door. ‘Are you clearing them out of your life?’
‘Never mind that.’ She felt dizzy. ‘Who saved you that night? When your mother walked into the lake with you?’
‘Jacob and Lucas were home from the school holidays and were camping in the grounds. They waded in and rescued us both. Much to my father’s fury—he beat them both for saving his “mad wife” and her unwanted child. That’s me by the way.’ His mouth twisted. ‘I was the unwanted child. Apparently the only time my father was nice to my mother was when she was pregnant with my brother Sebastian. Unfortunately she made the mistake of thinking that history would repeat itself so she got herself pregnant again. Big mistake.’
Katie wrapped her arms around herself. ‘Did she recognise you when you gave her the Sapphire?’
‘I don’t know.’ His voice was soft. ‘I think so but maybe that’s just wishful thinking.’
‘How is she?’
‘Stable. On buckets of medication, of course, but happy enough in her own world. All we can do for her is protect her as much as we can.’
But it wasn’t the child’s job to protect the parent, was it?
Katie thought about her own childhood. Her father’s hidden life didn’t change the fact that she’d been loved. Really loved. ‘I don’t know how you survived.’
‘I survived by becoming someone else. I acted my way through the most difficult years.’ Nathaniel held her gaze. ‘I was someone else pretty much the whole time until I met you. You’re the first woman who has been interested in the man, not the movie star. The drama project in Rio—I just wanted to give money. I didn’t want to know where it went. I didn’t want to hear their stories. Maybe I was trying to get rid of the guilt I felt about not protecting Annabelle. If I helped some other child …’ He gave a careless shrug. ‘And then you suggested I get involved. And it changed everything.’
‘Nathaniel—’
‘I don’t do “involved.” I don’t get down and dirty with people’s emotions—I’m not good with all that stuff. But those kids were—’ He frowned. ‘I thought I was the one helping them, but it turned out they were the ones helping me. Watching them made me realise that you cannot let yourself be defined by what went before. It’s never too late to build a new life. To do something different. To want something different. And I want something different, Katie. I don’t want to wake up every morning and act my way through the day. I want to live my life, not someone else’s.’ His gaze burned into hers. ‘And I want to live it with you.’
Her heart tried to fly but her brain wouldn’t let it. Don’t be a fool, Katie.
Nathaniel gave a crooked smile. ‘Say something.’
‘You won a Sapphire—’ her voice was a croak ‘—you’re the world’s hottest movie star ….’
‘That’s just my job—’ he took her face in his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs ‘—that’s not who I am. You taught me that. You’re the only person who ever cared enough to look past the performance. The only person who ever wanted to know me. And I want to carry on being me, with you by my side. I love you.’ When she still didn’t speak, his smile faltered. ‘That’s the first time I’ve ever said those words outside a film set.’
Still Katie kept the excitement tightly leashed. ‘This is all very sudden—and unexpected ….’ She wasn’t brave enough, was she? She wasn’t brave enough to believe him. ‘When did you decide that you loved me?’
‘When I won a Sapphire and it meant nothing to me.’ His eyes raked her face, searching. ‘I wanted to win it for Carrie, but the moment you walked out that night, I knew I hadn’t won at all. I’d lost.’
‘Nathaniel—’
‘I know you think I’m a coward—’ he lowered his forehead to hers, his voice unsteady ‘—but give me the chance to prove to you that I’m not. I’m a tough guy. Want to feel my muscles?’
The tears came then. They brimmed in her eyes and then slid past her smile. ‘I know you’re not a coward. I just wanted to make it better and you kept pushing me away.’
‘I won’t be doing that again. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.’ Nathaniel swiped the tears away from her cheeks and took her mouth in a brief, desperate kiss. ‘Katie, I really—Please … I’m telling you I love you—say something.’
Terror and hope danced together. ‘I can’t let myself believe you. I don’t know if you’re acting.’
‘You know I’m not acting. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life living with you in Katie-land. And you can throw out those magazines because you have the real thing.’
She made a sound that was half laugh, half sob. ‘We’re so different ….’
‘Not so different. You hid behind brown clothes. I hid behind my job.’
‘I haven’t worn brown since Wolfe Island.’ She sniffed and mopped her tears on the sleeve of her sweater. ‘You made me feel beautiful.’
‘You are beautiful.’ Sliding his arms around her, he frowned. ‘Have you lost weight?’
‘I’ve been miserable.’
With a groan of remorse, he flattened her against him. ‘I’m never letting you out of my sight again. I’m going to take you straight back to LA—’
‘I’m already going back to LA’ Katie pulled away from him and looked at the boxes stacked by the door. ‘I spoke to Howard Kennington this week and he wants me to come out and work on his next movie. He really liked my work. I assumed it was because of you, but he was really cross that I’d flown back here without talking to him first. He sent me a flight ticket.’
‘You won’t be needing it because I’m going to fly you home. I knew your work was exceptional the moment I saw it.’ He stroked her hair away from her face. ‘I’m going to give up acting and concentrate on directing. We can work on films together.’
Together. Her heart twisted with emotion.
‘Katie Field, Costume Designer.’
‘Katie Wolfe, Costume Designer.’
She didn’t dare move for fear of breaking the spell. ‘Nathaniel—’
‘I want you to marry me. Say you’ll marry me.’
There was a buzzing in her ears. ‘You want to marry me? But … you—Oh, my God—you’d break a billion female hearts.’
‘There’s only one female heart I care about,’ he said softly, and cursed lightly as her eyes filled again. ‘Don’t do that. I can’t stand it when you cry—I never want to see you cry ever again.’
‘This time it’s happy crying.’ Katie leaned her head against his chest. ‘I can’t believe this ….’
‘Usually when I ask a woman to marry me I already know the answer because it’s in the script.’ Uncharacteristically unsure of himself, Nathaniel gave a horrified groan. ‘I forgot the ring.’ He swore under his breath and delved into his pocket. ‘I’m doing this all wrong. I had it all planned out, the whole on-the-knee thing, fairy