‘Not hard enough,’ Freya hissed. This couldn’t be happening. She had no desire to see him or talk to him, not since it had become apparent he’d abandoned her and their marital home, and now he was here, gatecrashing her weekend away? That was cruel even by his standards.
‘The doctor who was supposed to be travelling with us took ill. I only found out myself this morning that Lucas had been drafted in to take his place.’
‘That still gave you time to tell me.’ Now the doors were locked, she was shut in this very small, very public space with him. It wasn’t the ideal place to face him for the first time in nearly a year when her emotions were bubbling so close to the surface they could very well blow out the doors of this aircraft. She was already hyperventilating; each gasping, shallow breath making it a possibility she might just pass out. That really would be the sour cherry on top of this mess.
‘I didn’t want to upset you or force you to back out. I’m sorry you’ve been put in this position. I know it’s not fair on you, but we need you here.’ Gillian wasn’t the kind to employ emotional blackmail to get what she wanted and Freya knew she’d only done what she thought was best in the circumstances. If she had been aware Lucas was going to be part of this, she might never have made it on board the plane herself and that would have put the entire trip in jeopardy. It didn’t make the prospect of spending enforced time with him any more palatable, though.
‘It should’ve been my decision to make,’ she grumbled, letting Gillian off the hook and directing her annoyance at the person who deserved it most. Lucas.
This volcano of bubbling emotion inside her was exactly the reason she hadn’t wanted any contact with him. It was difficult to restrain herself from getting up and punching him in the face for running out on her the way he had or squaring up to him and demanding answers she probably wasn’t ready to hear. Neither option would settle her again now when the mere sight of him was still enough to make her heart beat a little faster. Memories, good and bad, flooded back so quickly, so intensely she had to forgo her candy cane to reach for the little paper bag in the seat pocket to breathe into.
In.
Their first kiss on a night out with colleagues after weeks of working side by side when he’d been called in for cover in Princes Street and she’d been trying to ignore the growing attraction.
She’d never anticipated any sort of workplace romance, especially when he’d only been at the hospital on a temporary contract. That hadn’t seemed the ideal basis for any long-term relationship, and she wasn’t the type of woman who would ever find satisfaction in a fling, but he’d been so kind and attentive, to her and his patients, he’d eventually become the exception to her rule. Her gamble in letting her heart rule her head again seemed to have paid off since they’d kept dating long after his posting had finished, but she was still paying the price for her mistake now.
Out.
Lucas on one knee, promising he’d love her for ever and making her believe this time an engagement would mean marriage and a family and everything that had been taken from her in the past.
She’d made no secret of the fact she wanted the same kind of special relationship her parents had one day and had thought he’d understood how sacred marriage was to her, not something to ever be taken lightly. The proposal, over a candlelit dinner at his place, had been perfect because it had been a private moment between the two of them, somewhere she hadn’t felt under pressure. The homely, romantic gesture had held more meaning to her than a scripted display of bravado in front of a crowd, and he’d made her believe he held the same values. Only to toss her aside when he’d grown tired of married life all too soon.
In.
Their wedding day, when she’d been on top of the world and had truly believed they’d be together for ever.
It had been a small church wedding since Lucas had had no family he’d wished to invite to the service. He’d looked so handsome, and had seemed so utterly devoted to her during their vows to one another, he would’ve rivalled any fairy-tale prince. During their first dance as husband and wife at the reception she would’ve even sworn he’d had tears in his eyes, but the adoration hadn’t lasted.
Out.
The last image she had of him, walking out the front door only months later and breaking her heart in two.
That dream of her picture-perfect family had vanished along with him that day. He hadn’t loved her enough to even work at their marriage, never mind raise babies with her. She guessed he’d decided somewhere along the way he hadn’t wanted to follow that traditional love, marriage, kids route after all.
There’d been several self-centred men in her life since her first teenage infatuation, who’d run out on her when faced with the ultimate responsibility, but none of them had hurt her as much as Lucas because he was the one she’d never stopped loving.
The bag inflated and deflated in time with her shallow breaths.
‘If you’ll just take your seat, Doctor, we’ll be on our way.’
Freya could hear the admiration in the young attendant’s voice and an eerie sense of calm descended upon her. She’d been that naive girl once, dazzled by the handsome consultant with the pale blue eyes and the great smile. It had taken a lot longer for her to trust him with her heart. She’d mistakenly believed such a strong, reliable force in the workplace would make him the man who would be there for her when she needed him the most in her personal life too. The kind of man who wanted to settle down and would find contentment with a wife and a couple of kids. How wrong she’d been.
This past year had toughened her up and hopefully made her immune to those superficial charms now she knew he wasn’t the man she’d thought he was behind the handsome facade. Lucas was no better than the first man who’d betrayed her trust. Perhaps even worse because he’d broken his vows as well as her heart.
She crumpled up the paper bag with much more force than was probably necessary and shoved it back in the pocket until she could dispose of it properly.
The one consolation she had in watching another woman fawn over him was seeing the smile fall from his lips as he made his way down the plane and spotted her sitting in the aisle seat.
‘Freya?’ He swallowed hard and Freya found some satisfaction that he didn’t appear any more comfortable than she was with the situation. Even if this had been some sort of set-up to force her to talk to him, the reality might’ve actually made him face up to his actions. Nothing Lucas could say now would change what he’d done but dealing with the consequences might make him think twice about treating someone else with such scant consideration.
It didn’t make the idea of spending the weekend in his company any more palatable.
‘Lucas. You were the last person I expected to see,’ she said through gritted teeth, hoping the disapproval was radiating off her. He was completely out of order, ambushing her like this, but it wasn’t the time or place for a screaming showdown. No matter how tightly her fists were clenched or how raw her throat was with the effort of holding back tears and the urge to ask, ‘Why?’ He didn’t get to ruin any more of her life.
‘I was asked to cover at the last minute...and I thought...’ He was standing in the middle of the aisle, creating a bit of a spectacle as he blustered around her, attempting to squeeze his carry-on luggage in the overhead locker as the cabin crew tried to chivvy him to his seat.
‘What? That this would make a good surprise?’ If he was any good at reading body language, her folded arms and scowl should have told him otherwise. The fact that he’d chosen to play out this painful reunion in front of passengers and colleagues made matters worse. The one saving grace was that everyone else was so caught up in their own excitement the general ruckus on the plane should be drowning out this awkward conversation.
He ought to be on his knees again, begging her for forgiveness this time.
‘Doctor,