And she could finally, finally stop trying to convince them that she was.
‘In that case, I suppose this time is even more important for us, isn’t it?’
‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN?’ Zacchaeus asked his fiancée, watching her closely. ‘I thought this was already important.’
‘That’s why I said even more important,’ she answered brightly. ‘Since we’re going to be married, we should use this time to build a foundation for this marriage. Preferably one of mutual respect.’
He didn’t answer. It was the second time she’d said something about the two of them spending time together. Getting to know one another. But, just as he had the first time, he brushed it off. There would be none of that.
Even if he was fascinated by her.
She’d covered it up quickly, but Zacchaeus knew that there was something more to what she’d just said. Something that proved his suspicions that she wasn’t just marrying him to protect her kingdom. Which would make complete sense. She was sacrificing her entire future for Mattan. Would she really do that without having some other motive?
And yet, since that was exactly what he was doing, why couldn’t she?
‘Do you agree?’ she asked, her eyes steady on his.
He got caught in them for a moment, and almost found himself telling her that he did. But he stopped himself. Forced himself to focus. Reminded himself that just because those blue-grey eyes, those full pink lips, those dark curls with its light streaks, painted a picture he couldn’t bring himself to stop looking at—had never been able to—didn’t mean he should forget why she was there.
He’d already told her too much. Like the fact that his parents—or rather his father—still lived on royal property. He’d panicked when she’d asked about seeing them, though he was sure he’d answered her without letting her know how much her question had alarmed him.
Because when she’d asked he’d pictured her seeing his father and realising the former King of Kirtida was ill. He’d pictured her asking about his mother and finding out that the Queen had left over two months ago. That somehow she’d learn about how the coup had been staged because of his father’s ill health and that the threat against his kingdom was his mother’s fault.
No, he couldn’t afford to be distracted by how beautiful she was or by the bright light she carried within her. So he would remind them both of why she was there—and it wasn’t to get to know one another.
‘I agree that our marriage is important.’ He paused so that his next words would have the impact he needed for her to understand. ‘For the sake of our kingdoms.’
‘But not for our relationship?’
‘We don’t have to have a relationship to be married.’
His parents had proved that to him, hadn’t they?
But the silence that followed his words told him that she wasn’t happy with his answer. And the longer he waited for one from her, the more the tension grew between them. He remembered for the first time then that they were supposed to be eating. But he couldn’t even distract himself by doing that since he knew that their food had gone cold.
‘What will the next few weeks look like for us then?’ she asked eventually, breaking the silence.
‘Well, you’re here under the pretence of planning our wedding, so you should probably do that.’
‘Alone?’
‘Yes.’
‘And what will you be doing?’
‘Negotiating the Protection clause with your brother and future sister-in-law.’
There was a pause. And then she asked, ‘So you expect me to spend all my time planning a wedding?’
‘I’ve already given you my word that I’ll sign the documents when the time comes, Nalini. The other reason you’re here isn’t really necessary.’
‘And I’m just supposed to believe you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why can’t you do the same then? Believe that I’ll marry you after the papers are signed, I mean.’
‘Because there’s more on the line for me. This is my entire kingdom.’ And what was left of his family, he thought, his throat tightening. ‘I can’t just take your word on it.’
She stared at him. ‘Do you hear yourself? Do you hear the hypocrisy in what you’re saying?’
He shrugged as though her words didn’t affect him. ‘You agreed to the terms of this situation, Nalini. We haven’t discussed the one you’re proposing now, and I haven’t agreed to it.’
Her eyes flashed, making them more grey than blue, and he felt a dangerous—and unwanted—tug of attraction. ‘So not only do you expect me to accept that you’ll do as you say, but you also won’t even give me a chance to figure out whether I can trust that you will?’
‘What would change if you realised you couldn’t trust me? Would you return to Mattan?’
Something flickered in her eyes. ‘It would change things.’
‘Would it? So you’d tell Xavier and Leyna that you can’t go through with the wedding and put the entire alliance at risk?’
‘It’s interesting how you’ve turned this around. How you’ve made risking the alliance sound like it isn’t something you’ve been doing from the moment you refused to see Xavier and Leyna after you became King.’ She leaned forward. ‘Like you aren’t holding us hostage now and still doing it.’
She was right. But he couldn’t afford to think of it that way. If he did, he’d have to pay heed to the emotions circling inside him like sharks around prey. He couldn’t allow them to attack. Not when the threat of them had been propelling him forward, helping him to focus on what Kirtida needed.
He’d been telling the truth when he’d told her he had more on the line than she did. He’d somehow managed to convince Xavier and Leyna that they needed him just as much as he needed them. But that wasn’t true. Zacchaeus needed them more.
If Macoa acted on the threat of economic sanctions, it would cripple Kirtida’s economy. Worse still, his people would no longer have the wheat so many depended on for their livelihood. Without Mattan and Aidara adding weight to any retaliation, Kirtida would be forced to give in to Macoa’s demands.
And giving in would kill his father.
It wasn’t an option.
‘It might not change what I’d do,’ she continued now, her voice no longer heated with the passion she’d just spoken with. ‘But it would make me feel better about marrying you. So, I’ll ask one more time. Will you spend time with me?’
‘I’m a king. I don’t have time—’
‘Make time,’ she insisted. ‘Make time to get to know the woman who’s going to be beside you while you rule your kingdom.’
He so badly wanted to say yes. Not only because something about her made him want to give her exactly what she asked for, but also because saying yes would mean that he wouldn’t have the much harder task of avoiding her. Of pretending that he didn’t have secrets to keep from her. Like his father’s illness, his mother’s fleeing—and the mess his mother’s actions had left for him to clean up.
But he couldn’t say yes. Not when spending time with her would put all those secrets at risk. He ignored the reasons