Kelly had never been able to pretend when it came to Buzz. The mere power of his gaze wrenched the truth from her no matter how painful, no matter how deeply she tried to lock it away. She knew this was going to change their lives irrevocably. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she knew from experience that sometimes things didn’t work out for the better.
Trying not to think of the darker possibilities, she watched him step into the rappel harness and loop the nylon rope through the carabiner, then anchor the end to a sturdy-looking pine. She knew better than to notice the way that harness accentuated his long, muscular thighs and lean hips. But she noticed anyway. And the sight of him, even after all these years, still made her mouth go dry.
“Kel, the spotlight.”
She jumped at the sound of his voice, jerked the light to the steep incline just below him. “Be careful of the rocks,” she said.
“I’m always careful.” Never taking his eyes from hers, he stepped backward toward the ledge. Glancing quickly behind him, he stepped down and disappeared over the edge. She could hear the nylon rope humming through his gloves as he descended, his hiking boots thudding against the rocky face of the ravine. Holding the spotlight steady, she guided him over jagged granite, through juniper and the spindly roots of the occasional pine that clung to the side of the mountain, all the way to the ravine floor thirty feet down.
“I’m in!” came Buzz’s shout a moment later.
The rope went slack and Kelly knew he’d disengaged the rappel harness. She squinted through the darkness. “Do you see anything?” she shouted.
She could hear him breaking through brush. Hope burgeoned until her chest was so tight she couldn’t breathe. Please, God, let my son be down there. Let him be all right.
The need to hold Eddie tight and safe in her arms was an ache so deep she almost cried out with the pain of it. That need twisted inside her now, like a knife, cutting her at the very core of her being. She knew better than to get her hopes up, knew how acute disappointment could be, but her heart kicked hard at the thought of getting him back safe and sound.
“I need for you to put on the harness.”
Kelly started so abruptly at the sound of Buzz’s voice, she nearly dropped the spotlight. She’d been so embroiled in her thoughts, she hadn’t seen him climb back up the ravine wall. One look at his face, and fear snarled like a rabid beast inside her. She tried to shove it down, refusing to give it free rein, but it was a cold, mean fear and clamped over her like a predator’s jaws.
“What is it?” she blurted. “Is he down there? Is he—?”
“Easy, Kel.” Buzz grimaced. “He’s not there. But he was. I almost missed it, but there’s a sneaker print.”
“Are you sure? He was there? But how did he—” She closed her eyes, a strangled sound escaping her. “How did he get down that ravine?”
“Looks like our little guy climbed down.”
“But…it’s so steep. How did he….” Because she didn’t want to think of her son braving such a treacherous climb, she let the words trail.
“Maybe he climbed down to help you.”
The thought of Eddie trekking down that dangerously steep ravine to help her ripped at her, tearing her from the inside out. She’d sworn she wasn’t going to cry or succumb to hysterics, but the thought of her little boy risking his life to help her when she’d been hurt shattered the last of her control.
She put her hand over her mouth to smother a sob. “Oh, God, Buzz. He’s so brave.”
“Easy, Kel. Just take it easy for me, okay?”
“I want him back.”
“I know, honey.”
Kelly closed her eyes tightly against the tears, but they squeezed through her lashes and ran unchecked down her cheeks. The sob that tore from her throat didn’t sound at all like her. Not like Kelly Malone who’d been standing on her own two feet since she was fifteen years old. Not the young girl who’d lost not only her father, but her brother and then spent the rest of her teenaged years taking care of the broken woman who had once been her mother.
But the pain was too great and refused to be bridled. Wrapping her arms around herself, Kelly doubled over, felt a sob wrench from her throat. “Where is he?” she cried.
“Shh. Kel, hey, settle down. I want you to take a deep breath for me, okay?”
She tried to suck in a breath, but all she managed was a keening sound that echoed off the trees like the cries of a dying animal.
“Kel….”
“I want my son.”
“Come here.”
She barely heard the whispered words over the tide of grief within her. But slowly they penetrated the fog of pain, the fear of the unknown, and registered in her brain. Come here. An offer of comfort when she desperately needed it. She knew what it was like to be wrapped within those strong arms. To have that gentle voice reassure her. For those hands to caress away her pain and fear. She knew better than to give in to that kind of temptation. But Kelly was tired of being strong. Tired of being alone. For a little while, she wanted to step into that strong embrace and just be held.
Buzz took the decision away from her. Without bothering to remove his rappelling harness, he reached for her. Strong hands closed around her arms and pulled her to him. Kelly started to protest, but he shushed her gently. She didn’t remember falling against him. Or wrapping her arms around those rock-solid shoulders. She knew getting close like this was dangerous business, that she should pull away. But the next thing she knew he was holding her close, molding her body to his and she was helpless to resist. All the while the scent of his aftershave curled around her brain, reminding her of how right it had once felt to be wrapped within this man’s embrace.
“I need him back, Buzz. It’s killing me.” She was sobbing now. Wrenching sobs that bubbled up from somewhere deep inside her where the pain was unbearable and her body and heart could no longer contain it.
“We’ll get him back.”
“He’s everything to me.”
“Shh. We’ll find him.” Gently, he stroked the back of her head. “Let it out, honey. Just cry it out. I’ve got you.”
Kelly didn’t want to cry. Not again. But the pain had been hammering at her for nearly six hours now. The element of the unknown beckoned her beleaguered mind to conjure unspeakable possibilities. She simply couldn’t bear it if something terrible happened to her little boy.
“Promise me we’re going to find him,” she whispered. “Please, promise me.”
“Kel—”
“Say it,” she said fiercely. “I want to hear you say it.”
“I promise. We’ll find him. Just…be still a moment, okay?”
The rush of tears ended as quickly as it had descended. In its wake, Kelly felt calmer. Still afraid, but somehow stronger. Purged.
“Better?” Buzz asked.
She wasn’t sure why the question embarrassed her, but it did. Kelly wasn’t a helpless female, couldn’t bear for this strong man to think of her that way. “I didn’t mean for that to happen,” she said. “I don’t usually have emotional meltdowns.”
“Considering the circumstances, I won’t hold it against you.”
Tilting her head back just enough to look at him, she smiled thinly. “I appreciate that.”
“You’ve