At bedtime, they faced an awkward moment. Dani held Peaches, prepared to disappear into her room for the night. Nathaniel stopped her with a hand on her arm. He kissed her cheek. “Sleep in my bed tonight,” he muttered.
“Are you sure?” Dani looked up at him searchingly as if she saw every one of his doubts.
“I’m sure.”
An hour and a half later, he wasn’t sure at all. Peaches was asleep in her little walled-off nest in the corner. Dani had chosen to get ready for bed in her own room and returned wearing the simple ivory silk gown and robe. She looked young and innocent and disturbingly bridal.
“I know I gave you those,” he said gruffly. “But I’d rather have you naked.”
Dani lifted an eyebrow. “Maybe if you dim the lights first?” she said, laughing.
“No. I don’t think I will.” He was counting on the fact that his feisty assistant never backed down from a challenge.
She shot him a glare promising retribution but seconds later stripped down to her bare skin, tossed the night clothes on the nearest chair and scuttled under the covers. “I’m cold,” she complained.
The obvious ploy to reverse his command had no effect whatsoever. “I’ll warm you up,” he said.
Dani had the blanket pulled up to her chin. Her sultry smile promised all sorts of naughty delights.
With shaking hands, he unbuttoned his shirt and unfastened his pants. Having Dani watch him with rapt fascination did good things for a man’s ego. When he was completely naked, he let her look her fill. His sex was rigid with anticipation, his body primed and hungry.
“Invite me to come to bed, little elf.”
“It’s your bed,” she pointed out with inescapable logic. “I’m only visiting.”
“You look good in there.”
It was true. It had been a very long time since any woman had graced his condo with her presence. Now he had two females under his roof. No wonder he felt off balance.
Dani’s dark, honey hair tumbled across the pillow. Her eyes were heavy-lidded with arousal. She couldn’t hide from him. Not anymore.
“When I asked you to sleep with me tonight, I meant that literally,” he confessed.
“I know.” Her smile was equal parts wistful and wry. “But between the baby waking up at all hours and you waving that thing around, I can’t imagine either of us will get much rest.”
“It’s called a penis,” he chuckled, climbing underneath the covers and dragging her into his arms. She felt amazing tucked up against him. Feminine curves and soft, soft skin. “This was a very good idea.”
“And you’re so modest, too.”
“Brat.”
“Autocrat.”
“Shrew.”
She laughed softly, curling one arm around his neck and kissing his chin. “I like fighting with you.”
“Is that what we’re doing?” He rubbed his hands over her rounded butt, squeezing experimentally. “I thought we were negotiating.”
She pulled back and stared at him, her expression wry. The lamp on the bedside table was still on, though the bulb was small and the light it cast not bright at all. “Everything I have is yours tonight, Nathaniel,” she said softly. “No negotiating necessary. I’m here because I want to be.”
Big blue eyes seemed to reflect the knowledge that he was incapable of giving her what she needed. He couldn’t let this go too far. Not without risking his heart and his professional life. What did Dani expect from him?
His throat was so tight he had to swallow before he could speak. “I’m glad,” he said gruffly.
Giving in to the greatest temptation he had ever known, he let himself wallow in her goodness, her welcome, her much-needed warmth. He had stocked the nearest drawer with a dozen condoms, and even that might not be enough. They came together in every way imaginable, hard and fast, lazy and slow. They dozed from time to time, and then he took her again.
He didn’t know what love was. Surely not this desperate need to bind and irrevocably mark a woman. Love wasn’t a sick feeling in the stomach, was it? Or the terrifying conviction that he had lost all control of his life? The notion that Dani was becoming necessary to him was scary as hell.
She was a decent woman and more honest than any other he had ever known. Her life was an open book. But if he told her even a fraction of what he was feeling, that would give her power over him, the power to destroy.
So he held his tongue, but he showed her with his body. Like a madman, he forced his way between smooth thighs and took her in an agony of longing, as if he would never get enough. As if filling her and finding release was the ultimate calling of his life.
Loving her gently was far easier when the first storm had passed. He stroked curves and valleys, feathering his fingertips across her most sensitive flesh and relishing her ragged cries when he gave her what she needed most.
Holding her afterward was almost as good. With her back pressed to his chest and her bottom cradled against his pelvis, he found peace. Burying his face in her hair, he inhaled her scent and tried to commit it to memory. Nothing this good could last. Nothing ever did.
In the middle of the night, Dani took a turn waking him. “Hold me,” she whispered. “Make love to me again. Christmas is over, and I’m afraid of tomorrow.”
He had no assurances to offer. They both knew the score. It added up to messy confusion and ultimately, change. A change he didn’t want, but a change that was necessary. The best he could do right now was pretend.
* * *
Dani woke up just before 5:00 a.m. and went to the bathroom. Then, with her heart breaking, she stared into the mirror and tried to recognize the woman with the tousled hair and the tired eyes and the whisker burns on her neck.
How could they go forward from here? Nathaniel was never going to change. Dani had too much self-respect to settle for a relationship that was less than a hundred percent. She wanted a normal life.
Nathaniel Winston was not normal in any way. He was brilliant and driven. Generous, but at the same time distant. She knew he cared about her in an academic fashion. Just as he cared about Peaches. That wasn’t enough. Dani wanted everything or nothing at all.
Maybe he felt something more for her than a primal, male need to possess. Maybe he could fall in love with her. Was she willing to take that chance? Was she willing to wait for something that might never happen?
Yawning and desolate, she returned to the bedroom and climbed back under the covers. Nathaniel was dead asleep, but when she touched his chest, he mumbled and reached for her, dragging her against him. Dani closed her eyes and fell asleep, wrapped in the bittersweet comfort of ephemeral bliss.
* * *
The next time she awoke, the room was filled with light. Nathaniel lay on his side facing her, his head propped on his hand. He looked younger and happier than she had ever seen him. Peaches lay between them, contentedly gumming the edge of the sheet.
Dani rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and stretched with a yawn. “Sorry, I must have been out cold.”
Nathaniel grinned. “You were indeed. I suppose someone kept you awake most of the night.”
His smug, male satisfaction amused her despite the turmoil in her heart. She twirled one of the baby’s curls around her finger. “Naughty baby.”
“Very