‘Don’t, Kazim, don’t. In fact, just go.’ She turned and opened the door of the flat, all thought of her earlier decision to go out and shop gone. She needed to escape him and the way his gaze, so dark and lingering, still affected her. All she wanted was to lock the door against him and her marriage.
‘Not until you’ve heard what I have to say and if it means saying it here on the street, I will.’ His words were low but steely, firm with determination, and she knew she had little choice left.
She shook her head in a small movement of denial. If he was going to press home his point about duty and hurl accusations of deceit at her she couldn’t take it any more. She’d heard enough.
She looked into his eyes and her heart almost stopped beating. In their depths she saw something she’d never seen before—uncertainty. It unnerved her and she wasn’t even sure if she really wanted to hear what he had to say. She didn’t want his decision to end the marriage reaffirmed yet again. What good would that do either of them?
‘Five minutes.’ She relented and opened the door. Without a backward glance to see if he was following, she marched back up to her flat.
‘It may take a little longer than that.’ His deep voice drifted up to her and her body reacted to the sensuous undercurrent of sexiness that seemed to be weaved into every word.
She stopped by her front door. Did he really think he could charm her so easily? ‘Say what you have to, Kazim, then leave. For good.’
She walked into the small flat and dropped her handbag down onto the kitchen worktop. The stillness of the flat careered into her turmoil. She couldn’t get over how quiet the place was without Annie and Claude, and Kazim’s brooding presence only intensified it.
She heard him shut the door and her mind raced back to the moment in the dressing room of the club. Was it really only a few weeks ago? He’d stood resolutely against the door, barring her exit and forcing her to listen. She turned to face him and a little smile tugged at her lips despite the wild array of emotions rushing through her. With his arms folded across his chest, he stood with his back to the door, his body completely overwhelming the small corridor.
‘Come through,’ she said and led the way into the small living room, which was considerably lighter than the hallway. She hoped he would appear less intimidating there, but as he entered the room she knew it was useless. The power of his presence would never be overruled. He was a born leader, a man who exuded command and, to her shame, she could hardly drag her gaze from him.
He looked at his watch again and irritation crept over her. ‘Okay, what is so important, Kazim?’
‘I want you to come back to Barazbin.’ His firm words were loaded with intent and for a moment left her speechless. This couldn’t be happening, not again.
‘Why? Is the great Kazim Al Amed not able to get the divorce he wants?’ She tried really hard to keep the spike of hurt from sounding in her voice, but it was as if he was twisting a knife in her heart. Why did he have to be so cruel and why did she have to allow it to hurt so much?
What was worse was that she knew if he just said the right words that she’d go. But he would never do that. Kazim didn’t do love. For some reason unknown to her, he didn’t want to allow her love into his heart, his life. He hadn’t when they’d married and he certainly hadn’t when she’d told him she loved him. He’d thrown it back at her.
She whirled round and marched back to the door of the flat and opened it, glad now she’d made him move away from it. At least this way he didn’t have control of the situation.
‘No,’ she said as an ice-cold sensation slid over her. ‘You’ve said what you needed to, now go.’
He stood in the doorway of the living room, sunlight flooding in behind him, and she glared at him, her breathing deep and hard, determined not to be distracted by him. For a moment he looked at her, his black eyes almost piercing into her soul, and she wondered if he could read the confusion within her.
‘You are wrong about the divorce,’ he said slowly and took a step towards her, but she held her ground and stood holding onto the door of the flat. ‘After what was revealed about you, divorce was the only option to be considered.’
‘Ah, yes, back to duty again. Correct me if I’m wrong, Kazim, but haven’t we already had this conversation?’
‘Yes, Amber, we have.’ He took another step closer and she swallowed hard. She had to remain calm. ‘And it is duty that has brought me back to you.’
Why couldn’t it have been love?
* * *
Kazim took another step towards her and reached for her hand, firmly but slowly peeling her fingers away from the door. He wasn’t going anywhere yet.
Her eyes widened in surprise and for a moment he thought he saw the same spark of desire he felt just from touching her mirrored in her eyes. She’d had that effect on him since the very first time they’d met but he’d been too proud to acknowledge it. Too determined to deny it.
‘What duty?’ Her voice was barely above a whisper as he shut the door quietly, his every move full of purpose. He looked down at her and the rush of desire he’d known the first night of their marriage resurfaced, but this time he didn’t want to push it harshly to one side. He wanted to face it, to explore it.
‘My duty as your husband.’ He took one more step towards her, bringing her so close he could have wrapped his arms around her at any moment. She smelt good and he breathed her scent in. ‘A duty I failed in.’
‘Did you?’ She looked up as she asked the question in a tremulous whisper.
He couldn’t help himself as he reached out and smoothed her hair back from her face. The sigh that escaped her lips spurred him on. She was not immune to him, despite the hard bravado she hid behind.
The attraction that had simmered between them from the very first moment their eyes had met was still there and much more intense. He could feel the tension emanating from her—she still desired him and it gave him the courage he needed to face the most difficult thing he’d ever done.
‘Yes.’ His voice sounded gravelly to his ears as he looked down at her. ‘I allowed the judgement of others to colour my views, allowed them to taint your name. I failed you.’
The grief he’d experienced after she’d left Barazbin rushed back at him. He hadn’t expected to feel such pain or to know that raw and mysterious emotion of abandonment and rejection, but he had. With her head held high she’d walked out of his palace and his life without a second glance. She’d turned the tables so completely that as soon as she’d gone he’d ridden out into the desert like a man possessed to shout his anger and his pain into the wind.
‘And now you believe me?’ Her eyes searched his face, hope shining from them, and that all too familiar band of tightness gripped his chest.
‘I do,’ he said as his fingers slid through her hair, the softness almost like silk. ‘Very quickly your father’s web of deceit unravelled, exposing your innocence. In fact he has confessed all. His misguided loyalty to you led him along the wrong path.’
‘And that’s it?’ She tried to step away from him but the wall was at her back. The gesture of moving away from him rang alarm bells in his head. This was not going according to plan. He believed her, he’d come to apologise. What more did she want from him?
‘What else do you want?’ Frustration made his question harsher than he’d intended.
‘It’s not enough, Kazim, not now, not ever.’ She caught hold of his hand, stilled the subconscious movement of his fingers through her hair. ‘I can never be what you want me to be.’
He dropped his hand to his side, another stab of rejection hurtling at him. She didn’t want him to touch her. The angry glare in her eyes, which had replaced that brief glimpse