But then again, she had no one to blame but herself. She knew where this relationship was going—nowhere. And she’d known that all along.
The two of them were like night and day. Their worlds and their paths never should have crossed.
Still, she’d let herself fall in love with Jensen in spite of all that. And her heart ached at the loss of something and someone she’d never stood a chance of having. She needed to have a good cry, but she’d be darned if she’d do it in the parking lot of the town’s most popular eatery.
So she started the truck and drove home, her anger soon replaced with tears and self-recriminations.
When she arrived at the darkened ranch house, she tried not to look at the romantic staging she’d carefully set up before leaving for dinner—the scented candles that would remain unlit and the Keith Urban CD that would remain unplayed.
Instead, she undressed and climbed into bed, where the soft and clean sheets had been scented with lilac.
She punched her pillow about ten times before succumbing to heart-wrenching tears and crying herself to sleep. But even then, she spent a fretful night, tossing and turning until dawn.
The next day, a cold sense of loss nearly swept her away when she woke at daybreak, alone in a double bed and in an empty house.
She showered and dressed in her work clothes, hoping that would help put a sense of normalcy back into her life. Then she went to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.
When her cell phone rang, her heart leaped in her chest. Hope rose, chasing away her sadness. Let it be Jensen, calling to apologize or at least to make amends.
Without taking time to check the number on the lit display, she slid her finger across the screen and answered.
“Hello, dear. This is Josephine Fortune Chesterfield.” Amber nearly dropped her coffee mug.
What could Jensen’s mother possibly want? Was she calling to gently reprimand Amber for engaging her son in a horrible public display of a lover’s quarrel last night?
“I’m sorry to trouble you this morning, but I was hoping you might know where I could find Jensen.”
“Not here,” Amber blurted out, embarrassed that the royal English aristocrat would think her son had spent the night with her. Of course, if Mr. Dunstan would have just kept his big mouth shut, that’s exactly what would’ve happened.
“What I meant,” she explained to Lady Josephine, “was that he didn’t sleep with me. I mean, he didn’t stay here last night. In fact, I haven’t seen him since I left him at the Hollows Cantina.”
“Of course not, dear. I’m sorry for assuming otherwise. It’s just that he left in Quinn’s truck yesterday. But it’s back this morning, and one of the horses is gone. Several of the men have ridden out on the trails and haven’t seen him. I thought that, maybe, he’d ridden out to your ranch to visit you.”
Was Jensen missing? Had he pulled a disappearing act?
“No, he’s not here. Does he normally just up and vanish like this?”
“Jensen? Hardly. He’s a very reliable person and conscientious. But I’m afraid today’s the anniversary of his father’s death. And with all the recent developments and changes in the family, Jensen is taking it rather hard this year.”
Had his grief been complicating matters?
Of course it had, and Amber had neglected to realize how quiet he’d become after talking about his father’s death, how keen he’d felt the loss of the man who’d also been his friend.
She poured out her coffee and placed the mug in the sink. “Don’t worry, Lady Josephine. I’ll find him.”
She just hoped she would be able to keep that promise.
After ending the call, she headed to the barn. If Jensen was on horseback, her best bet to find him would be with Lady Sybil.
But before she could saddle her horse, the brass buckle in the bridle caught her eye, making her think of Jensen’s treasured gold pocket watch.
Where would he go if he wanted to be close to his father?
The answer came to her instantly and she ran back toward the house and grabbed the truck keys off the hook in the mudroom.
She drove down the highway much faster than was reasonable. Just before she could pull into the small parking lot at the airfield, she caught a glimpse of a horse and rider at the southern edge of the fence.
She slowed to a stop nearly a hundred yards away, not wanting to startle Trail Blazer, the gelding she’d sold Quinn, or Jensen, who was sitting in the saddle, staring at the small planes parked near the runway. She shut off the ignition and climbed from the truck.
“Hey,” she said softly, as she approached.
Jensen glanced over his shoulder. “Hello.”
“There’s a posse out looking for you, cowboy.”
He shrugged a single shoulder. If the dark circles under his eyes were any indication, she’d guess that he’d slept just as badly as she had.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said.
“It’s okay. We all need to get away and clear our heads once in a while, especially on days like today, when we’re missing a loved one. Let me just call your mom and let her know she can call off the search party.”
“While I’m sorry for worrying everyone this morning, I was actually apologizing to you for what I said to you at dinner.”
She paused, her cell phone in her hand. She probably ought to backpedal about now, quit while she was ahead. But she couldn’t help it. She’d fallen for the handsome Brit, and she couldn’t roll over and consider their relationship dead in the water before it even got off the ground.
“I said some mean things, too,” she admitted. “Cowgirls are tough and they’re stubborn. And to make matters worse, I don’t like it when someone says I can’t or shouldn’t do something. I was going to apologize for not telling you about that Cowboy Country USA contract sooner, but then, when I saw your reaction, I got my dander up and, well...I didn’t mean to cause such a big scene.”
“What you said made sense. I need to stop hiding and start living my life. I’m going to head back to England for a while.”
He was leaving? Already? “What about the weddings?”
“I might come back for them. I haven’t worked everything out yet.”
“Will I see you again?” she asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.
“I don’t honestly know. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted, but then I met you and my whole world was turned upside down. I thought we could have a simple and uncomplicated affair, but that didn’t work out so well.”
It had worked out nicely the one night they’d spent in the barn. And if they’d had a chance to be together more...
“I’m not like the rest of my family,” he said. “I’m not made for a long-term relationship.”
Amber bit her lip to keep from protesting. And she blinked to keep from crying. “Did your parents set the bar too high? Are you afraid you won’t find what they found?”
“Actually, it’s quite the opposite. I don’t want to find what they found. Watching my mum grieve for her best friend and soul mate has made me leery of loving someone that deeply. I started to feel much more than I should for you, and then things got tricky. You weren’t the only one making a scene last night. I can’t believe that I turned into such a jealous and possessive arse, especially when