‘OK, we need to go if you’re going to get to Boots before they close,’ Leo says with a clap of his hands.
I absolutely need to get to Boots before they close. It might feel like it’s been a really long time since we had sex, but there’s no time for flirting if I’m going to get the things I need for my trip tomorrow. Plus, we’re not going to have sex in Ikea, are we? Our naughty days are a thing of the past. Well, when you’ve been together for four years you don’t really do wild any more, do you?
‘Here, I got you one,’ Leo says, handing me a hotdog.
‘I’m OK, thanks,’ I reply. ‘I need to watch what I eat.’
‘No, you don’t. You’re as sexy as the day I met you,’ he insists sincerely.
I smile.
‘I’m not really hungry,’ I reply, giving his arm a squeeze.
Leo shrugs his shoulders before eating it himself.
I know it’s easy to put on a little weight when you’re comfortable in a relationship, but my super-sexy boyfriend is just as hot as the day we first met. I suppose being a fireman helps with that. He has to keep fit, and the uniform still lights a fire in my downstairs. I, on the other hand, work from home, so I’m not as active as I used to be. I’m a healthy-ish weight; I’m just nowhere near as toned as I used to be.
Finally at our car, Leo begins loading things into the boot as I plonk myself down in the passenger seat, exhaling deeply, relieved to have survived another trip to Ikea.
‘Erm, Mia,’ Leo calls from behind me.
‘Yeah?’
‘You’ve got the wrong size,’ he tells me.
I massage my temples.
‘Can’t you make it work?’
‘I mean, it would be better to just have the right one. Shall I run back in?’
‘Leo, I need to get to Boots,’ I tell him.
‘I know, I know,’ he calls back. ‘I just really wanted to do some work on the kitchen today. Aren’t you sick of eating microwave food and takeaways?’
‘Well, yeah, but we’re going away tomorrow,’ I reply.
‘To Cornwall,’ he reminds me. ‘Where they have plenty of Boots… I’ll make sure we stop at one on the way to the beach house and you can even give me a list of what you want and I’ll get it… and I’ll buy you some Daim chocolate.’
‘OK, fine, go,’ I tell him. ‘I’ll stay here.’
Leo gives me a kiss on the cheek before dashing off back inside, leaving me sitting in the car. I know he just wants to get the house finished so that we can get on with living a happy life in it. I guess I’m just impatient and growing tired of the constant DIY.
Perhaps the kid with the helicopter arms was on to something. That’s why he’s probably in Toys R Us right now getting whatever toy he wants, and I’m still stuck here, in Ikea purgatory, waiting for a kitchen door.
Isn’t it weird how, when you visit somewhere you haven’t been for a while, it seems so familiar and yet so alien. Like it’s something you saw in a movie once.
Being back in Cornwall, back at the beach house where my sister got married, is making me feel exactly that. I want to say it hasn’t changed at all, because it hasn’t, but what happened here during her wedding week feels like something that happened to someone else.
My sister, Belle, and her husband, Dan, tied the knot here four years ago and thought it might be nice to celebrate their wedding anniversary here, with the family and friends who were there on their special day.
It was at Belle and Dan’s wedding that I met Leo. I was a bridesmaid, he was the best man – it sounds like something fresh out of romantic comedy, right? Of course we were supposed to end up together. It took me a while to realise this, though, and so the path to true love wasn’t a smooth one.
You wouldn’t think it, meeting me now, but back then I had a real problem with commitment. I arrived at the beach house for Belle’s wedding expecting to have a terrible time, but then Leo showed up.
I remember the first time I met him like it was yesterday. The entire wedding party went out for lunch, except Dan, the groom, who was laid up in bed with a bad back, so I wound up staying behind to look after him. There had been mention of a best man who was showing up at some point, but I completely forgot about that. That’s why, on my way back to my room, I didn’t think it would be a problem when my bikini top fell off… but then I heard this voice behind me. We spoke for a moment before I turned around, and when I finally saw him, I couldn’t get over how sexy he was. Sure, he was big and buff, but his swept-back dark hair, and sexy green eyes, and dimples… my God, those dimples!
Of course, at the time I didn’t know it was love at first sight. I thought it was just lust. To protect my modesty I was using my hands as a bra. I remember Leo introducing himself to me and offering me a hand to shake so that I’d remove one of my own from my chest. I loved how cheeky he was, and then he kissed me.
The kiss knocked me for six, so much so that I didn’t know what to say afterwards. I think I blurted something along the lines of: ‘I’ve never kissed a fireman before.’
‘Neither have I,’ he replied.
I assumed he was like me, just after a good time, but he later confessed than he wasn’t the ladies’ man I thought he was, and that he just wanted me. It took me a little longer to realise this, but I got there in the end.
It’s weird, to think that, before, when we met, I thought of his job as the ultimate sexy-man job. I just thought of his big, strong arms and his stripper uniform. These days, all I think about is how dangerous his job is, and how I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.
The beach house is just as beautiful as I remember it: brilliant-white walls, contemporary architecture, with big windows, multiple balconies and an entire beach for a back garden. Thanks to our detour to Boots, judging by all the cars parked on the driveway, I’d say we were the last ones to arrive.
‘Of course we’re late,’ I laugh to myself.
‘It’ll be fine,’ Leo assures me, trapping me in a bear hug before lifting me up off the floor and spinning around a few times. He always knows how to make me feel better. ‘Come on, let’s go inside.’
I take a moment to glance around the garden. It really is such a beautiful summer’s day. The house sits right on the beachfront and, right now, all I want to do is take a walk along the coast. Unfortunately, I’ve got a family inside waiting for me – probably an angry family, because even though I am consistently late, they’re always surprised and offended by it.
‘Hello,’ I call out as we walk through the large front door. ‘Anyone home?’
My voice echoes through the large living room.
‘Mia!’ my sister squeaks as she charges towards me, seemingly from out of nowhere.
‘Hello,’ I reply, unable to muster up my sister’s level of enthusiasm. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Amazing,’ she replies. ‘We were just about to eat without you. Come on.’
Belle grabs me by the wrist, ready to drag me along, sort of like the way an excited child would drag you downstairs on Christmas morning.
‘Who’s here?’ I ask, wiggling free of her grasp.
My