His eyes glittered. ‘And I haven’t seen her since, because she doesn’t need to be reminded of the past and what I couldn’t do for her. And, besides, my responsibility to her is done. I’m not getting sucked into doing any more.’
He was silent a moment, staring at me, something fierce burning in his expression. ‘I’m telling you all of this, Thea, because caring for Mum while she was dying, and then having to care for Morgan...it took everything I had.’ The lines of his face were drawn tight. ‘I don’t have anything left for anyone else. And I don’t want to matter to anyone, because then they don’t have to matter to me. It’s not personal, it’s just the way it is. If you want fun and sex from me, fine, I can give you that. But nothing else, understand?’
The sharp edges of my heart were rubbing me raw and I had to take a silent breath. I could only imagine what he’d gone through, the bravery it would have taken to help his mother and then take on the responsibility of caring for his sister too. It would have taken both courage and compassion.
And who would he have had to turn to? Had he had anyone? Oh, but I knew the answer to that already. No, he hadn’t.
Somewhere inside me another sharp pain caught, but I ignored it.
It wasn’t about me. And, if there was a part of me that secretly wanted to be the person he could turn to, then that was my own fault. He hadn’t promised me anything but a few days, and I was already on borrowed time.
My vision blurred, grief for him making tears start behind my eyes. But I blinked them away hard. He didn’t need me being all emotional on him.
‘It’s okay,’ I said, trying to sound calm and steady. ‘I get it. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, Damian. I’m just...so sorry.’
It sounded so inadequate and trite, and I wanted to close the distance between us and put my arms around him. But that was about me and what I needed, not him. So I stayed where I was.
‘You don’t need to worry,’ I went on instead. ‘I won’t ask any more questions, I promise. Just sex and good times from now on.’
His silver gaze had settled on me, the look on his face completely unreadable. And, no matter how hard I tried to tell it not to, my heart still ached.
‘I mean, I know it’s not the same,’ I continued, wanting to reassure him and maybe convince myself too. ‘But I don’t want more either. Mr Chen wasn’t my father, but I cared about him and his legacy. And I want to continue it, which means doing a job where I’ll always have to remain alone. It was a choice I made years ago and I’m not changing my mind just for you, okay?’
Damian stared at me for a long time and I didn’t understand all the emotions that crossed his face. And he didn’t smile. It was as though the mask had dropped and what I was seeing was the raw, unvarnished man.
Serious. Intense. But something fierce blazed in his eyes.
Then quite suddenly it was he who crossed the distance, taking my face between his hands, his palms hot against my skin.
‘Why tell me that?’ he demanded, staring down at me. ‘Is it supposed to make me care that you’re alone?’
He was angry; I could see that now. ‘Why?’ I shot back, staring up at him, something fierce rising inside me too. ‘Has it made you change your mind?’
‘No.’ His fingers tightened on my jaw. ‘I’m a selfish prick and I don’t give a shit about you or anyone else.’
And then, before I could move, he bent his head and kissed me fierce and hard, his tongue pushing inside, exploring. Demanding. Taking.
There was no finesse this time, none of his practised charm. None of his usual focus or care. The kiss was rough, raw and totally uncompromising. The kiss of a man who had a point to prove and was going to use me to prove it.
I shuddered as he ravaged my mouth, desire gathering tight and hot inside me, because although he’d been angry it wasn’t anger I tasted in the kiss. It was desperation. Hunger. He wanted to prove that he didn’t want anything from me, or from anyone, but the desperate way he was kissing me told me otherwise.
And instantly all my own anger drained away.
No wonder he was desperate. No wonder he was hungry. He’d given everything he had to the people he cared about, and because his mother had died and his sister had been too young he hadn’t got anything back.
No one had given him what he needed.
Except for now. Now he had me. And I had plenty to give.
I tore my mouth from his, staring up into his blazing eyes. ‘Tell me what you want,’ I said fiercely. ‘Tell me and I’ll give it to you.’
He took a moment, as if he didn’t understand at first. And then the silver light in his eyes seemed to grow brighter.
‘Strip,’ he ordered roughly. ‘I want everything off. Now.’
I didn’t hesitate. My hands shook as I pulled at my clothes, discarding them quickly onto the floor, Damian’s gaze burning as he watched me.
Once I was naked, the air moving over my skin, he pointed to the floor in front of him. ‘Down. Now.’
I dropped to my knees, the wooden floor hard beneath me, my pulse getting louder and louder in my head.
His hands dropped to his fly and he undid the button, jerking down the zip. With one hand he pulled out his cock while with the other he reached for me, his fingers tangling in my hair. ‘Open your mouth,’ he demanded, and when I did he shoved his cock into it, stretching my lips wide around him.
‘Now suck it.’ His voice was hardly recognisable, a deep, rough growl, and I responded, closing my mouth around him and taking him in deep. So deep he brushed the back of my throat.
He made a harsh sound, his handsome features tightening with pleasure, and I liked it. Liked that he was taking from me and that I could give him what he wanted.
But I wanted to give him more, so I began to suck him hard, licking around the sensitive head in the way I knew he liked, teasing the ring in his dick with my tongue, letting my teeth graze him. He tasted good, musky, salty and male, so I took him deeper, tasting him harder.
Another growl escaped him, the look in his eyes burning me alive as he stared down at me. God, he was incredible. His jaw was hard, the intensity he always kept masked suddenly blazing.
His fingers tightened in my hair, his hips flexing as he thrust into my mouth. I wanted to shut my eyes, give myself over to the experience and to him, but I couldn’t drag my gaze from his face.
He hit the back of my throat, making me groan, and then abruptly he pulled out of my mouth, his fists in my hair. ‘Lie down.’ His voice was rough, breathless, and he released me. ‘On your back.’
And I did, my breathing fast and short, the nagging ache between my thighs getting stronger. I was wet and I wanted his hands on me, wanted his mouth, but I wasn’t going to ask. He’d done nothing but give me pleasure for the past week and now it was my turn to give. He could take me, use me however he wanted. This was for him.
The floor was hard against my bare back, the wood cool, and it made me shiver.
‘Spread your legs,’ Damian growled, staring down at me.
And I did, spreading them wide, my thighs shaking.
His gaze dropped to my bare sex and stayed there, making me catch my breath. Then he dropped to his knees between my legs, still staring at me, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. He took out a condom packet and ripped it open, and there was