If he even wanted it to work.
He still hadn’t said anything in response.
Maybe because he still waited for an explanation from her.
She cleared her throat. “I have always had a very clear idea of where I want my life to go and what I want it to look like. It hasn’t worked out. Not once. This is the first time where the plan falling apart might not be the end of the world. I didn’t plan on enjoying spending time with you so much, but I do. I don’t know if I can go back to not being with you once we go home.”
CAMERON WATCHED TRISH try and fail to dredge up her sunny smile. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Fake it.” She was sunny normally, but she also used it to retreat when she felt awkward or exposed. The fact that it was sometimes genuine had confused him at first, but now he had a better read on her. He wouldn’t let her take back what she’d just put out there between them. Cameron squeezed her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. “You don’t have to hide from me.”
“You’ve said something like that to me before.”
“It was true then. It’s true now.” He had to release her when the waitress finally approached, all apologies for the wait. They ordered food and drinks and as soon as the woman headed to plug the order in, Cameron turned back to Trish. “I like you, too.” More than like you. He knew her well enough to know he couldn’t push harder than he already had. “We’re in this together.”
“How is this even going to work?”
She always had a plan, and her plans didn’t always work out. He reclaimed her hand, wanting to touch her as much as he wanted to offer her a physical touchstone to back up his verbal one. “Occasionally, it’s okay to play things by ear.”
She snorted. “You don’t believe that any more than I do.”
It wasn’t how he normally lived his life—winging it. Cameron liked a plan as much as Trish seemed to. A plan created boundaries and expectations and efficient measuring sticks for progress. Plans worked great for school and co-running his own business.
One area he’d learned plans didn’t work for shit?
Relationships.
He brought her hand up and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “I enjoy the time I spend with you.”
She frowned. “I enjoy the time I spend with you, too.”
“There’s no reason to overthink it, then. We keep spending time together. We keep spending our nights together. We handle each new challenge as it develops, real time.” He ignored the unease that slithered through his stomach at the thought of no reassurances for a future with Trish. It didn’t matter if it made sense—if it was logical. He wanted guarantees that she’d be in his life for the long-term.
Demanding that would mean he’d lose her. She was barely considering extending their fling into something longer. Telling her he wanted something serious, something permanent, would spook her.
She pursed pink lips. “That sounds stressful.”
“And trying to plan every development of this thing between us down to the smallest detail sounds like a lesson in insanity.” He turned her hand in his grip and kissed her wrist.
“You do make me crazy.” But something in her relaxed a little and she gave him a genuine—if small—smile.
“Tell me about your parents.”
Instantly, the smile was gone. “You already know about my parents. You’ve known Aaron for ages.”
“Sure,” he agreed easily. “But his relationship with them is different from yours.”
“There’s nothing more to add. My dad is a good old boy who has lived his entire life knowing where his place is and being comfortable in it. He loves all of us, but he works a lot, even still. My mom...” She tensed slightly. “My mom is a worrier. I don’t know how much Aaron sees it, but she can work herself up into a panic attack over things outside her control. And no one worries her as much as I do.”
“Why’s that?” From what Aaron had said about his youngest sister, she was never anything that could be termed a problem child, and all evidence supported that reality.
A shrug, this one too tight to be as nonchalant as she pretended. “I didn’t have the same sense as my older sister to find a nice boy, get married and start a family close to home. First I went to college out of state, and now I’m working in the big, scary city—both things my mom is sure are choices I made solely to give her a heart attack. I don’t think she was happy to see me fail to land a job after I graduated, but she definitely liked having me home again while I figured out where I was going to land.”
Cameron considered that new information with what he already knew about Trish. The pieces fell into place with a satisfying click. “That’s how you learned to manage people so well.”
“Clients are no big deal when it comes to unruffling feathers. Really, compared to my mom, no one is that big of a deal.” She made a face. “I’m not being fair. She’s a good mom. She loves all of us to distraction, and she was one hell of a support system growing up. Something just...went a little strange when I graduated high school.”
Having her youngest leave the nest had to have been challenging, especially considering that her mother’s entire identity seemed to be wrapped up in her children. Or at least that was the impression Cameron got from Aaron. “She tried to clip your wings.”
“What? No. No way.” Trish used her free hand to take a sip of water. “It’s more like she didn’t exactly cry when I had setbacks that brought me home.”
Which was as good as clipping someone’s wings. Cameron’s parents had shown him nothing but support from the time he could remember. Even when they didn’t really understand his fascination with online security systems, they still sacrificed to ensure he could go to the school of his choosing. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She set her glass down. “Your parents sound pretty great.”
He let her change the subject without pressing the issue. Her feelings about her mother might be conflicting a bit, but it wasn’t something that Cameron could solve in a single conversation. He wasn’t sure he could solve it at all—or if he should even try. So he gave her a reprieve and more details about his own parents. “They are. They made sure I never went without while growing up, and they sacrificed a whole hell of a lot to ensure I got to attend my first choice college.” He’d known exactly the price required to give him that opportunity. They never doubted that he’d succeed, and he’d never doubted himself as a result. “I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like, but I fly over there a few weekends a year, and I fly them over here for Christmas and usually at least once more when they have some free time.”
“Aaron mentioned a vacation.”
He smiled. “Yeah, they won’t take money from me, so I take them on some ridiculously fancy vacation every July. My mom is too damn proud to pick the places she really wants to go, so my dad slips me a wish list every few years and I make sure we get there.” She had a strange look on her face and he glanced down. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
“No.” Trish shook her head. “That’s just...really, really sweet that you do that for them.”
“Don’t get any funny ideas. I’m still an asshole most of the time. I’m just not an ungrateful asshole. Every opportunity I’ve had in life is because they helped ensure I was in a place to take advantage