AS MORNING LIGHT filtered into the room, Tilly stretched under the warmth of the covers, her body languidly replete and her mind full of hot memories from last night. Could that woman really have been her? She’d never known such a passionate side to her existed. Neither had she ever wanted to find out—until Xavier had come into her life. He’d lit the fire of passion within her and now she didn’t want it extinguished.
At that thought the smile slipped from her lips. She’d been scared to let passion enter her relationship with Jason, scared to disturb the friendship they’d had since school. It had been that reluctance that had sealed their fate. He’d never demanded anything from her, had always been the model boyfriend, but a few months before their wedding day something had changed. He’d withdrawn from her, become less interested in planning their wedding, but she’d ploughed on, desperate to stay behind the barriers of safety.
All she’d ever needed had been the safe, comfortable companionship Jason had offered ever since they’d met. Now, after what she and Xavier had experienced last night, she could begin to understand why Jason had had an affair. She only wished he hadn’t left it to the last minute to tell her. She couldn’t forgive him for that.
She rolled over in the improvised bed, shocked to discover she was alone. Did Xavier regret last night already? Had her passion been too much? Did he think she was looking for more than one night, even though she’d told him it was on her list? She’d had her romantic fling. It had been amazing, but she wasn’t going to allow him to reject her.
She threw back the throw, the chilled air making her skin prickle and she looked around for her clothes, embarrassment flooding her as she remembered the brazen way she’d discarded them and the hungry way she’d watched Xavier do the same. Quickly she grabbed her bra and jumper and shivered as she put them on.
She remembered the way he’d flinched and watched her as she’d touched his scarred legs and waist. He’d helped her get over the past, even though he didn’t know it, and she’d wanted to help him too, by proving the scars didn’t matter. But from the way he’d made love to her afterwards, without the gentleness of the first time, she knew she’d only angered him.
Just as she’d finished pulling on her crumpled clothes, Xavier returned, looking fierce, his dark eyes holding her captive.
‘Going somewhere?’ The harshness of his tone sent a chill that was colder than the snow outside down her spine. He was still angry. The intensely sexy man from last night had gone.
‘To see if it has stopped snowing.’ She said the first thing that came to mind, unsure what she had been planning on doing next.
He glared at her. Did he regret that not only had he spent the night with his hired help, he’d bared his soul, told her his inner most thoughts? She’d seen the scarring on his legs, something she guessed he didn’t allow many women to see, and her heart had constricted. It had stirred her passion, turning it into something far more intense, and all she’d wanted to do was love him.
A tingle of alarm rushed over her as she realised she’d done the one thing she’d always avoided. She’d lost control of her emotions. But did she love him? No, she’d only wanted a fling, but hadn’t she already admitted to herself he’d taken a bit of her heart?
The questions continued to rush around her mind. She pretended to be busy folding the throws, desperate not to look at his icy-cold expression. Love didn’t happen that fast, she had merely been consumed by what she’d striven to avoid all her adult life. Passion—the emotion linked to pain and loneliness.
Her mother was proof that neither love nor passion could save a person from heartache. Why would anyone want something so destructive? Even as the thought entered her mind, she knew why. The intense passion of loving that she’d discovered last night was the reason and she shut those thoughts away. Her fling was over. Time to get back to reality.
She thought of the hours she and Xavier had spent making love. Her body could still feel every caress, every kiss and every hot spark of desire. But now despair filled her heart. It hadn’t helped her to move on, as she’d foolishly believed. It had only made things worse.
‘Let’s hope we can escape this place today.’ Xavier all but growled the words out. He was putting distance between them. She got the message loud and clear. Last night was well and truly over.
It’s for the best, she told herself as she walked to the window to see if escape, as he’d called it, was possible. One thing was for sure, she had no intention of hanging around for his rejection. He’d turned his girlfriend away, so pushing her away would be easy. She’d been rejected by Jason and she certainly wasn’t going to meekly wait for it to happen again. This time she would do the rejecting.
Feeling suffocated and hemmed in, she roughly pulled open the curtains, her agitation showing in every movement until she froze. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. It was still snowing. The possibility of leaving today didn’t look good. ‘No, it can’t be,’ she whispered, more to herself than to the man whose brooding presence filled the room.
Behind her she heard the flick of the light switch and turned to face him. ‘The power is still out.’ His eyes, cold and dark, met hers.
Could this get any worse? She’d just spent the night with the man who was effectively her boss, shared secrets they both probably would never have told, and now they were going to be forced to spend yet another day alone in the same house.
‘It’s still snowing.’ Her voice was barely above a whisper as she tried to take in what this all meant.
She turned to face him, wanting to prove to herself she was in control, that she wouldn’t dissolve into a distressed heap in front of him. Right now she didn’t care what he thought of her. All she cared about was dousing the passion once and for all. It couldn’t happen again.
‘So, we are completely cut off. Snowbound.’ His sharp tone caught her unawares and she couldn’t think what to do now, her mind in a panic.
‘I need to leave today. I have to go.’
She had to get to Vanessa’s, but, more importantly, she had to get away from Xavier.
* * *
Xavier marched to the window and looked out at the white landscape. Snow was plastered to the sides of trees and bushes as if someone had painted them with a brush. They could be stuck here for several days.
How were they going to move on from their conversation in the early hours of this morning? He’d opened up to her, believing they would be parting the next morning. He couldn’t spend the day with her after that revelation. What if they were stuck here? What would happen tonight?
He remembered every detail of last night as the blizzard had done its worst outside. Her total innocence and how he’d let her into his mind. But as dawn had broken, reality had begun to creep back stealthily.
‘We should have tried to go yesterday.’ She dragged her hands through her hair and instantly he recalled how his fingers had slid through its thickness last night.
Enough, he berated himself. It had been exactly that sort of emotion that had lowered his defences, allowed her to touch his heart. The heart he’d kept frozen for the last three years.
He looked at her face, at the horror of their situation reflected in her eyes. He knew she thought he was blaming her. But he wasn’t. He’d messed up enough lives with the accident and now he was messing up hers, opening up wounds he’d never known she’d nursed, wounds as big as those he was trying to heal.
‘It’s not going to help to stand here, apportioning blame. After breakfast I will walk to the road to see what the situation is.’ He was back in charge, back in control, which was more than he’d been last night.
‘I’m