Now she stretched out and sighed softly. No Jamie, no guests. Just her and Ben and it felt wonderful. Deep down she knew this was something she hadn’t come close to before. She thought of Paul, how he had swept her away in a tide of excitement. She felt guilty for thinking it – he was the father of her child after all – but he hadn’t aroused the feelings now engulfing Eva. It scared her, excited her. It made her feel strong yet vulnerable. It made her want to reach out and grab it and yet at the same time run and hide from it.
She knew she could get hurt so badly. She felt like something in her was awakening for the first time and she loved and hated Ben at the same time for making her feel like this. She could see now all the barriers she had built to keep herself safe and knew in one night Ben had smashed them all down.
She studied him for a few moments, her eyes savouring his toned, lean body, which had brought her such joy last night. And then she felt the cold hand of reality begin to slide over her. Anxiety and doubt crept in as she wondered what would happen now. What had she done? Quietly she slipped out of bed, pulled a T-shirt over her head, padded through to the bathroom, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes held an undeniable sparkle and her skin glowed. It was still quite early but she knew Heather would be up – she was a fellow lark; the woman never slept in.
‘Hi, Eva. Everything all right?’ Eva smiled at the sound of her friend’s voice.
‘I’m a bad mother.’
‘Okay. And why’s that exactly?’
‘Ben’s in my bed!’
Her friend only missed a single beat before responding. ‘And how does that make you a bad mother exactly?’
‘My son goes away for the first time ever and I bring a man home! What kind of a mother does that make me?’
‘Er, the human red-blooded kind?’
‘Well you would say that. But I feel like a terrible human at the moment.’
‘Eva, think about this. Ben’s a nice person isn’t he? He’s intelligent … oh yes and he’s flipping gorgeous. You’re probably just in shock this has happened. Please, Eva, just for once, enjoy the moment.’
Eva felt her shoulders relax, allowing Heather’s words to infiltrate some part of her brain. ‘You’re right.’
‘You shouldn’t be talking to me. Go and be with him. I’m assuming underneath all that worry, you have a huge smile on your face?’
Despite herself, Eva grinned. ‘Maybe,’ she conceded.
After she hung up Eva went to find Hamish who had miraculously stayed in his basket all night. He was probably in shock too if he had witnessed anything. She gave him his breakfast and let him out in the garden for a few minutes, as she took a few breaths of fresh air.
She was slightly hungover and not just from alcohol. She took a long drink of cold water, giving herself a moment of reflection. She’d have to think carefully about what to tell Jamie. But tell him what? What happened had been amazing but it didn’t necessarily mean anything, did it? No promises had been made. The connection between them was undeniable but it had all happened so quickly. Had she given in to her physical desires too soon? Remembering Heather’s words she decided now wasn’t the time to analyse it. There would plenty of time for that later.
Tiptoeing back into the bedroom she slid beneath the covers and stared over at Ben, amazed how beautiful he looked with his rumpled dark hair and eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks. His body shifted and his eyes – those dark gorgeous eyes – slowly opened and gazed at her. For a long moment their eyes locked and then a slow sexy smile spread across his lips. What was he thinking? She felt suddenly shy, despite what they had shared last night. Without speaking he pulled her in to him, kissing her.
‘Morning to you too,’ she replied when they eventually parted. ‘Are you hungry?’
‘Yeah, starving actually,’ he replied with a lopsided grin.
‘Must have been all that dancing,’
‘Must have been.’ He smiled wickedly.
As they moved from the bed, Eva recited her breakfast menu in an exaggerated formal voice. ‘There’s a choice of full traditional full Scottish breakfast or you may prefer our continental choice of warm rolls, jams, and seasonal fruits …’ Eva stopped, lifting an eyebrow. ‘But for special guests I can arrange something extra …’ She giggled as Ben groaned.
‘I tell you what, how about omelettes?’ Ben suggested, pulling on his shirt. ‘They’re about the only thing I can make – kind of my signature dish.’
‘Sounds good.’
In the kitchen, Ben set about whisking eggs while Eva filled the teapot with boiling water and made toast. She turned to find Ben staring at her. ‘What?’
‘I hope that’s not how you usually look when you make breakfast for your guests.’
Eva looked down at her crumpled T-shirt. ‘Um, definitely not.’
‘That’s all right then.’ He came behind her and nuzzled her neck. She turned to face him and as he peppered her throat with kisses, Eva was tempted to forget all about breakfast. Only the imminent threat of burning of toast broke them apart.
Their breakfast of eggs, hot buttered toast, and mugs of tea was delicious and they both ate hungrily. She glanced over at Ben and felt an overwhelming sense of happiness. She decided now wasn’t the time to overthink things. Whatever this did or didn’t mean, she simply wanted to enjoy this moment.
That moment was abruptly shattered by the sound of the doorbell ringing. She glanced at the clock. Who would be calling so early on a Saturday morning? Her first thought was Jamie and the cold dread she felt must have shown on her face. Ben squeezed her hand for a second.
‘Don’t look so worried. You answer the door and I’ll stay here.’ Eva hurriedly ran a hand through her hair, took a deep breath, and opened the door to find herself face to face with her sister.
‘Sarah?’
Eva didn’t know what shocked her more – the fact her sister was standing at her door on Saturday morning or that she looked utterly distraught, tears running down her face. Sarah didn’t usually do emotion. And she certainly didn’t do crying.
‘Sarah, what’s happened?’
‘It’s mum …’ Sarah gulped. ‘She’s … I saw them –’ Her voice broke into a sob.
‘Mum? Is she all right?’ Eva felt the colour drain from her face. Her sister took an enormous sniff and shook her head.
‘Mum’s got a boyfriend!’
Her words hung in the air for a second and then her shoulders slumped. So many things about that sentence didn’t sound right, Eva wasn’t sure how to respond. A hundred thoughts whirled through her mind, most of them incredulous. She also had a sudden terrible urge to burst out laughing. Eva stood in shocked silence for a moment before realizing Sarah was still standing on the doorstep and Hamish had just arrived to investigate what all the fuss was about.
‘Come in, come in. Don’t say anything else just now.’ With Ben in the kitchen, Eva ushered her sister into the living room. She opened the blinds and lit the fire, trying to make the room feel as cosy as possible. Sarah perched on the edge of the sofa, emitting little sobs every now and again.
Eva was acutely aware of her own appearance and hoped she didn’t look as dishevelled as she felt. Her body ached at all the unfamiliar activity, her lips felt stung, and despite her sister’s obvious distress, she felt gloriously alive, as if her body was hugging a lovely secret to itself. But she couldn’t deal with her sister looking like this and with Ben in the house.
‘Just