Lily hadn’t known how to break it gently so she’d just blurted it out. ‘Emmy’s father is a probable match. It’s Ben...Ben Warrender.’
After the initial stunned moments of shock, her mum had been angry and full of questions.
The former had been aimed at Ben, the latter at Lily.
‘The choice was mine, Mum. I decided it would be better if he didn’t know.’
‘You mean you didn’t even tell him you were pregnant?’
She had read the shocked condemnation in her mother’s eyes, a look she’d imagined would be duplicated by strangers who got a whiff of the scandalous story. Lily didn’t care what strangers thought of her, but it had hurt a lot to have her mum look at her with such disappointment.
‘It wasn’t that simple. There were...other factors.’ Such as he’d split from his fiancée rather than give her a family.
‘A man deserves to know he has a child, no matter what he’s done.’
Lily had no idea what terrible things her mum had been imagining Ben had done. She’d chewed her lip in anguish. Having the disapproval shift her way had been, in many ways, easier. The last thing she needed was her mum being antagonistic to Ben.
‘He really didn’t do anything bad... I’m sorry I told you like this, Mum. You’ve had a shock. He has too.’
Elizabeth had shaken her head. ‘I just don’t understand why you did this, Lily. Surely your sister told you that you should—’
‘Lara doesn’t know either. Nobody knew.’
‘You didn’t even tell Lara? But you tell each other everything!’
Lily had shaken her head sadly. ‘When we were children,’ she’d said quietly. ‘We don’t confide the way we once did.’ It saddened her that there was more distance than simple miles between them now. She missed the closeness.
Would they ever be close again?
She’d straightened her shoulders. This was her problem, not Lara’s. ‘The important thing is it looks like he is a match for Emmy and he’s willing to be a donor.’
‘Of course he’s willing to be a donor, he’s her father. If the man dared say no, you just give me five minutes with him.’
The continuing belligerence in her mother’s attitude had dismayed Lily—she had enough eggshells to walk on without having to act a peacemaker between Ben and her mum.
‘He won’t. He’s having further tests this morning and then he’ll be... He wants to meet her.’
Her mum had sat down on a chair with a bump. ‘I suppose he does,’ she’d said faintly. She’d lifted a hand to her head. ‘She looks like him, those eyes... Why on earth didn’t I see it before?’
‘I’m not Lara.’ Her twin was the one that men looked at when she walked into a room. When they were together sometimes Lily felt invisible. It wasn’t about looks, it was about confidence and personality and, yes...sensuality.
Her mother had frowned. ‘What a strange thing to say, Lily. Whatever do you mean?’ Her eyes had widened. ‘Your sister didn’t date him too?’
The mental image of her twin with Ben had been so real and the accompanying stab of shameful jealousy so strong that it had taken her a moment to react. ‘No, of course not, I just meant you weren’t looking for that connection—why would you be? I never dated men who were...like him.’ There were no men like Ben.
What they had shared did not really qualify as a date... A dreamy expression had drifted briefly across her face as an image of the seafront café, the reflection of the lights on the water, had slid into her thoughts. It seemed like a lifetime ago. She’d shifted uncomfortably under the speculation in her mother’s frowning regard.
‘You won’t make this hard...harder than it is,’ she’d corrected, appealing, ‘Will you, Mum?’
There had been a long pause and when her mum had finally shaken her head Lily had let out a long sigh of relief.
* * *
For a split second he really thought that Lily was going to block the door at the last minute, but then as she visibly straightened her slender shoulders she shifted to one side to allow him to enter the room before her.
Before he could do so Lily’s mother emerged. The woman had always had a smile and a cheery word for him in the past, but now she walked past with her head disdainfully high. She blanked him completely until the last moment when she turned her head and tossed him a killer look that he presumed she reserved only for men who got her daughter pregnant.
He was a parent... Would it ever sink in?
Behind him he registered Lily’s voice. The tone sounded urgent and pleading, but he tuned it out. All his focus was on that next step.
He took a deep breath, released it in a measured hiss and walked into the room.
In his life Ben had walked coolly into tough situations. Meetings where a false move or a show of weakness could lose him a fortune. He’d once got himself unexpectedly caught in the middle of a coup and found it exhilarating. Nerves were good. He used them; they gave him a vital edge.
He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets to hide the fact they were shaking. If only those people who said Ben Warrender had nerves of steel could see him now! As he walked into the room his body was bathed in a cold sweat. It was the hardest step he’d ever taken.
‘She’s asleep.’
He didn’t react to the unnecessary information.
She’d seemed bigger somehow when he’d seen her at Warren Court, but now she was tiny, a baby really. She lay in a baby-sized bed, the sheet pulled up to her chin, one little hand clutching it tight. There were streaks on her face as though she’d been crying.
He gasped as he felt the emotion-tipped knife slide between his ribs straight into his heart. He had worried that he was incapable of loving anyone, even his own child... He’d been wrong. He knew now that he’d lay down his life in an instant for this sleeping angel.
Watching his face as he leaned forward and touched Emmy’s cheek brought a massive aching lump of emotion to Lily’s throat. The bleakness, the pain, the wonder...she recognised them all.
Then she saw the sheen of moisture in his eyes... Sorry. The word rattled around in her head and stayed there. What was the point in saying it? If the roles were reversed she’d never have forgiven him. The knowledge lay like a stone in her chest.
‘I’ll be outside,’ she whispered huskily, turning her head so he didn’t see her own tears as she left to give him some privacy.
It was some minutes later when he emerged. His handsome face was drawn and, though he had clearly been shaken by the emotional experience, he was in control now.
As her eyes meshed with his, without warning Lily’s stomach clenched with desire that she stubbornly refused to acknowledge.
‘She is a beautiful child.’
‘I think so.’
‘Will she sleep long, do you think?’
Lily nodded and explained, ‘She had a bad night, so they gave her something. Last time it really knocked her out.’
‘So you had a bad night too?’ The shadows under her eyes made the answer obvious. She looked like a sepia copy of the radiant woman he had seen emerge from the sea. Still the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, but with a vulnerability that was programmed to arouse any man’s protective instincts.
The