He tried to tell himself it wasn’t his business. Abby could marry whomever she liked. It wasn’t his place to interfere. And yet, he felt responsible for her now, especially since she had come here with plans to wed him and was now living in his household. And for the first time since she’d arrived, he actually felt bad that he couldn’t give her what she desired.
* * *
Abby was just preparing to go upstairs when Jakob brought the children inside for bed. They kissed their grandmother, then trolleyed off to brush their teeth with their father’s supervision. Hiding a yawn, Abby soon followed. Standing on the landing, she peered into the room the children shared. Two twin beds sat apart from each other, budged up against opposite walls. Curious about the kids’ relationship with their father, Abby listened for a moment.
“Will you read us a story, Daed?” Reuben asked, holding up a children’s book.
“Of course.” Jakob took the book and sprawled across the boy’s bed, his long legs hanging over the edge.
He plumped the pillows as Ruby joined them, wearing a simple flannel nightgown. She cuddled against her father and laid her head back. Abby plastered herself against the outside wall so they wouldn’t see her, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Not once in her life could she remember her father reading her a bedtime story, and she was captivated by the event.
Jakob read a tale about an Amish girl named Lily and her adventures around the farm. He brought the story to life, using a different voice for each character. When his tone lowered to a deep bass as he read the grandfather’s lines, Abby had to stifle a laugh. Soon, the story ended and Jakob urged the kids to sleep.
Abby peeked around the corner. With the children lying in their separate beds, Jakob snuggled the blankets around each of their chins, then kissed them both on the forehead. She had no doubt he loved his children with all his might. In fact, his show of affection told her that he hadn’t spanked Reuben earlier. If he had, the boy would still be angry and pull away. Wouldn’t he?
“I miss Mammi,” Reuben said.
“Me, too,” Ruby responded.
“I know. But she’s with Gott now. She’s also still here with us, in our hearts. She’ll never leave us,” Jakob said.
“How can she be with Gott and be in our hearts, too?” Ruby asked, her forehead furrowing.
“Because we remember her. If we think of her often and know what she would want us to say and do, she can be with us always. By that way, she lives in our hearts,” Jakob said.
“Truly?” Ruby whispered.
“Truly,” Jakob returned. “But you must be kind to Abby. It’s not her fault that Mamm died. And Abby has her own sadness to deal with, too.”
“Like what?” Reuben asked in a challenging voice.
“Both of her parents are gone and she’s all alone in the world. Life has not been easy for her.”
“Really? She doesn’t even have a familye?” Ruby’s voice sounded so sad.
“Not anymore,” Jakob said. “Just a bruder who never treated her well. She came here looking for a familye of her own.”
“Ach, she can’t have mine. She should go back to Ohio.” Reuben’s tone was heavy with resentment.
“She’s not trying to take any of us away from you, Reuben. She just needs a place to stay. We talked about this, and you will treat Abby with respect. You will treat your schweschder better, too. Understood?”
Abby was glad that Jakob told the boy to treat his sister well. But the boy made no verbal reply, and Abby wondered if he had nodded or merely refused to comply.
“Gutte’ nacht,” Jakob said.
“Ich liebe dich, Daedi,” Ruby called.
“I love you, too, boppli,” Jakob said.
He turned to leave and Abby darted into her room and carefully shut the door. She didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, and yet she was fascinated by Jakob Fisher and his kinder.
I love you.
The simple words of an innocent child to her father. How Abby longed to hear those words directed at her, but she knew now that it would never be. Other than her mother, no one had ever loved her, except Gott. And as long as she had the Lord on her side, she had faith that all would be well for her. She couldn’t blame Reuben for feeling threatened and wanting to protect his mother’s memory. He was just a young child who missed his mom. And once again, she envied Jakob and his loving, wonderful familye.
Starlight gleamed through the windows in the dawdy haus. The cloying scent of the spearmint ointment Dawdi used on his arthritic joints lingered in the air. Jakob blinked his eyes, gritty with fatigue, and wished he could sleep. After a restless night, he’d finally dozed off and then awoken two hours early. He couldn’t stop thinking about his father and how he’d arranged to bring Abby Miller to their farm under false pretenses. Nor could he stop worrying about Reuben, or the farm, or his mother, or a million other concerns. He needed to trust the Lord more, but lately his faith had wavered.
Staring into the darkness, Jakob lay on the small twin-size bed inside his grandfather’s room. It had been his grandmother’s bed before she’d died five years earlier. He listened to Dawdi’s low, even snores and remembered a time when he’d been content enough to sleep through the night. Now, he was too troubled to rest more than an hour or two. His racing mind wouldn’t settle down. After several years of drought, they had finally enjoyed a wet winter. They’d made it through the lean times, but they were short on funds and he was eager to get the fields planted so they could sell their crops. Once they delivered the hutch he’d recently finished, the payment would also help.
Sitting up, he tossed the quilt aside and padded across the wood floor in bare feet. In the tiny bathroom, he closed the door before lighting a kerosene lamp. He quickly washed and shaved his upper lip so that no moustache would accompany his tidy beard. Turning the lamp down low, he emerged from the bathroom and dressed in the dark, his grandfather’s snores undisturbed by his movements. Walking outside, he closed the front door quietly behind him and stood on the porch for a moment.
Joe, their black-and-white dog, greeted him. His pink tongue lolled out of his mouth.
“Hallo, boy.” Jakob patted the animal’s head.
The chill morning air embraced him, and he took several deep breaths. Moonlight sprayed across the graveled driveway. His gaze swept over the open fields where their cattle grazed peacefully. A small stream ran past their place, swollen with spring runoff. He should speak with Reuben and Ruby about staying away from the swirling water where it deepened near the irrigation ditch...it could be dangerous to a young child. Thankfully, they should have enough water for their crops this year. Since his father brought his familye to Colorado ten years earlier, they had worked hard to build their farm into a prosperous place to live. Although they earned only half their living off the farm and the rest from the bakery and furniture he sold, Jakob loved it here and hoped to one day pass this land on to his children. Hope for a better future was the main reason his father had brought them here in the first place.
He held the lamp high as he walked to the barn. Joe trotted happily beside him, his stumpy tail wagging. Opening the heavy door, Jakob caught the warm earthy smell of dust, animals