Jakob turned, his eyes widening, as if he’d forgotten she was here. “What didn’t you know?”
She swallowed, gathering her courage. “That you were married before and have kinder.”
“Ach, it’s true.” He looked away, his gestures filled with impatience.
A dark, heavy silence followed.
“Jakob is a widower. Susan died in childbirth sixteen months ago,” Naomi explained in a gentle tone.
Oh, dear. Jakob’s father had neglected to mention that in his letters. Abby couldn’t help wondering what the man had been playing at. Had he hoped to get her here and then convince her to become a stepmother to Jakob’s children? Why hadn’t he told her the truth before she traveled across the country? Since the man had died suddenly a few weeks earlier, she would never know. It had taken her all that time to convince her brother to let her come here, and now it seemed a wasted effort.
“How old are your kinder?” she asked.
Jakob raked a hand through his short hair, showing his annoyance. “Reuben is seven and Ruby is five.”
“I didn’t know anything about them,” she said.
Now what? She hadn’t expected this. No, not at all.
The Western United States seemed strange and isolated to Abby, but it offered a chance at freedom. To begin a new life of peace and happiness. At the age of twenty-four, she should have already wed. But frankly, her father and brother had soured her toward all men.
Except one.
A rush of memory filled Abby’s mind. She’d been twelve years old when Simon was beating her with a heavy stick...doing what he’d seen their father do so many times before. Up until then, Jakob had been friends with Simon. The two boys were both fifteen years old. Jakob had been working with his daed in a nearby field. When he’d seen what was happening, he’d marched through the tall wheat, jerked the stick out of Simon’s hand and broken it over his bended knee. Simon had been furious that Jakob would interfere, but he hadn’t dared challenge him. Jakob was bigger, stronger and fiercer. He’d shielded Abby, giving her time to flee.
When Jakob’s familye had migrated to Colorado a year later, Abby never forgot his kindness. And every time her father or brother beat her, she thought about Jakob and his compassion. It was the only reason she had agreed to marry him. But now, she had a dilemma. If she returned to Ohio, she’d be forced to live in Simon’s household, where she had no doubt the abuse would continue. And she couldn’t stand that. No, not ever again. But maybe there was another option.
“I understand a marriage will not work between us.” She spoke softly, her hands trembling.
Jakob tilted his head to the side. “What did you say?”
She forced herself to meet his dark, angry eyes and repeated herself. “There has obviously been a horrible misunderstanding. But now that I am here, is it possible that I might work for you? Surely you need help on the farm. I am eager not to return to Ohio. Please. Don’t send me back there. Let me stay and work here.”
She hated that she must resort to begging, but life was harsh for an Amish woman alone in the world. She didn’t want to return to the misery waiting for her in Ohio, but neither did she want to abandon her faith for a life among the Englisch. She could work to make her way, if only Jakob would agree.
“I see no reason why you must leave, especially when you just got here,” Bishop Yoder said. “Our district is anxious to bring new members into its fold, to increase our settlement. There are not enough women of our faith to marry our young men. You would be a great asset to our congregation.”
Abby understood the implication of his words. If Jakob wouldn’t marry her, then someone else would because they were in short supply of Amish women. But what they didn’t know was that Abby would never agree to marry any of them. The fact that Jakob’s father had misguided her only confirmed her belief that most men could not be trusted and they used women only to get what they wanted.
Naomi nodded eagerly. “Of course, you must stay. We can find room for you here. There’s always work to be done, and we really could use more help. The bishop’s wife runs a bakery in town, and we contribute baked goods on consignment. In fact, I have to make a delivery in town tomorrow morning.”
Sarah nodded eagerly. “Ja, that is true.”
“You could also assist me with keeping an eye on the kinder,” Naomi continued.
Abby didn’t mind looking after children, but she felt a little odd tending Jakob’s kids. It was preferable to returning to Ohio. Everyone seemed eager for her to remain here. Everyone except Jakob.
“I would like that very much,” Abby said.
In unison, they all turned to look at Jakob. Their eyes were filled with hope as they silently awaited his verdict. For the first time in Abby’s life, it felt good to be wanted for a change, even if it was just Naomi, the bishop and Sarah who wanted her.
Jakob blinked, regarding them all as if he were a cornered rabbit facing a pride of mountain lions. Panicked and desperate. Abby held her breath, silently praying he agreed to let her stay.
* * *
Jakob took a deep breath, then released it slowly. He tried to calm his racing heart and troubled mind. Right now, he didn’t know what to think. Confusion fogged his brain. Too much grief had struck his familye lately. First, his beloved wife, Susan, had died in childbirth. Then Daed had died of a heart attack a few weeks ago. But why had Daed written to Abby and said that Jakob had agreed to marry her? It didn’t make sense.
Between the farm and his furniture-making business, Jakob already had more responsibilities than he could handle effectively without a wife. Though he tried, he had little time to comfort his grieving children. Mamm and his elderly grandfather had filled in the gaps. They’d been a great deal of help, but they were also still in mourning. He was responsible for each of them. To cope with his loss, he had buried himself in his work. It was easier to pretend that Susan was still alive, waiting for him at home at the end of each day. That his father was available anytime he needed advice or help with his labors. That they were a whole and happy familye again.
But they weren’t.
He definitely could use assistance on the farm, but not a wife. Never that. He would not allow Bishop Yoder or Mamm to pressure him into marrying again. It hurt too much. But what should he do about Abigail Miller?
He reminded himself that he wasn’t the only one who had been duped by his daed. After reading his father’s letters to Abby, he realized she hadn’t known that he was a widower with two young children to raise. Right now, they were with Dawdi Zeke, their great-grandfather, and not here to witness this difficult conversation. Reuben was still so angry that his mudder and grandfather had died. He and Ruby couldn’t understand what had happened to their world.
Neither could Jakob. It seemed that Gott had abandoned them, and he didn’t know why.
“I suppose we could make room for you here in the house, at least until you decide what you’d like to do. I can stay with Dawdi Zeke, so that there is no appearance of impropriety,” he said.
There. That was good. His offer provided an immediate solution to Abby’s needs without making any long-term commitments. And by staying with Dawdi, it would remove Jakob from the house so that no one could accuse him of indecency with a woman who wasn’t his wife. Of course, he’d still be taking his meals here in the house, but with Naomi and Dawdi’s presence, no member of his congregation could accuse him of being inappropriate.
“Dawdi Zeke?” Abby asked.
“My grandfather.”
She nodded. “Danke. I am grateful to accept your offer.”