‘You’ve done a nice job on the kitchen,’ he remarks, probably thinking it’s the polite thing to say.
‘Thank you. Upstairs is virtually finished, which is why the leak is so annoying.’
We continue in silence, until we walk into the spare bedroom and he immediately lets out an ominous ‘Oh’.
‘Is it bad?’
The damp patch on the ceiling extends out about twelve inches from the corner and already the wallpaper at the top of both walls is beginning to peel away. It’s a horrible blot on an otherwise perfect, country-cottage bedroom.
‘Well, it’s not good, let’s put it that way. I’ll take a look up top and see what’s going on. Pity you didn’t get this looked at a bit sooner, to save you redecorating. It could be a guttering problem, or maybe a few slates have slipped.’
For a moment my attention wanders and I’m transported back to the weekend we’d spent wallpapering this room. I can visualise Niall up the ladder as I passed him a pasted sheet of paper folded back on itself in loops. He’d taken it from my hands, but within moments it began to slither down to the floor and as I grabbed it the paper tore. It wasn’t a good day, we’d both been tetchy and ended up having a row. We were tired and our patience was wearing thin. A day that was wasted with needless upset in the grand scheme of things because we had no idea the clock was ticking.
‘Mrs James?’
Luke’s voice brings me back into the moment and I try to shrug off the wave of sadness and regret.
‘Sorry. Yes, I realise I should have looked into this sooner. It’s been a busy time, I’m afraid.’
‘I was thinking of the cost, that’s all. These things are always cheaper to fix if they are caught early. If the water has blown the plaster, then it won’t be a case of just replacing a couple of pieces of wallpaper. Anyway, I’ll let you know what I find.’
As I follow him back down the stairs I give myself a mental kick. I have to get a better grip on things, because he’s right and I know that. He doesn’t understand my situation, of course, but I have no excuse and it’s a relief to know he’ll begin work in the morning.
As I close the door behind Luke, I wonder if there’s a bill I can avoid paying this month to cover the extra work. I know there isn’t and reality hits that I’m probably going to have to take that loan from Mum and Dad.
The sigh that echoes around the stark hallway seems to grow in intensity, enveloping me with a sense of loneliness that is bone-chilling. Can I do this on my own? I used to think of myself as a strong person, but as time passes each little hurdle is beginning to feel like yet another mountain to climb.
***
Diary Log – day 486. 26 days to Christmas. 4 days to my deadline for the Aiden Cruise book outline and I’m on target. Christmas will happen and, fingers crossed, we will be lighting the fire. It seems almost as important to Maya this year as hanging onto the idea of Santa.
The remedial work to the roof is going to cost as much as the work on the chimney. It’s with a heavy heart that I ring Mum to break the news, although she’s clearly delighted to help out.
‘You know, Elana, everything we have will be yours one day. So don’t talk about loans, dear, it’s only money.’
Her words make me feel even more miserable. I’ve just lost Niall, or that’s how it feels still, and the thought of losing someone else is one I can’t bear to think about.
‘It’s a loan, Mum, and I will pay it back once this book is finished. You and Dad must enjoy your retirement and I’m not going to rob you of that. Hopefully it will be a long and enjoyable one. You’ve both earned this time to do whatever you please. It’s your time, Mum – remember that, because I don’t want you living just through us.’
There are a few seconds of silence on the other end of the line.
‘Darling, if you are hurting, then we are hurting. You and Maya are our world; we love you both to bits. We’ve had a wonderful life and we are so proud of you and how well you are coping. But we know you only choose to show us that brave face. We’re always here for you if … if things ever get too much.’
Her voice is strained and I know her eyes are filling with tears, as are my own.
I can’t share this with you, Mum. I just can’t. I shake my head, as if it’s that easy to shake away my thoughts.
‘That’s life and we just have to get on with it. We’re fine, really. And thanks for the loan, I appreciate it. Give Dad a hug from us!’
Almost as soon as I put the phone down, Maya rushes into the room.
‘Was that Grandma Tricia?’
Her little face shows disappointment and, rather guiltily, I realise I should have called her in, even for a brief ‘hello’.
‘We’ll see Grandma very soon, Maya, I promise. It was only a quick call today. Have you finished your homework?’
Her bottom lip wavers a little, telling me that she hasn’t even started it.
‘Can we light the fire, Mum?’
My heart sinks into my stomach.
‘I’m afraid we can’t, Maya. The builder has to sort the problem with the roof before he can move on to fix the chimney. If we light the fire now it wouldn’t be safe. We want to be safe, don’t we?’
She considers that for a few moments and then nods her head in agreement.
‘How about tonight we cuddle up on the sofa and read anyway, we can light some candles instead of having the fire.’
‘But it won’t be the same, Mum. And if the chimney isn’t safe how will Santa manage to come down it?’
‘Well, I hope it will be all fixed by then. So don’t worry about that now. Go and sort your homework, then after tea we can have a reading fest. Promise.’
She saunters out of the room without saying another word. I notice that there’s no Christmas music, either. Guess we are both having a down day, so I’ll finish up and get started on dinner. I don’t know who needs this most tonight, Maya or me. As I put the PC into sleep mode, Niall’s face stares back at me. One day soon I’ll find the strength to take the photo off, but I’m still not quite ready.
Some People Don’t Appreciate How Lucky They Are
It’s milder today and hard to believe it’s December. This time last week it was blowing a gale and the rain was driving across the valley in almost vertical sheets, hitting the ground like bullets. Talk about changeable, but at least this is good weather for roofing.
I hate being the bearer of bad news for a customer, but whoever replaced this roof was either very sloppy or wasn’t an experienced roofing contractor. Not only had a few slates slipped, resulting in a lot of water damage, but the lead flashing around the chimney is a mess. A quick check in the loft confirmed that the visual damage to the bedroom below only hinted at how much water was getting in. It was only a matter of time and a couple more heavy storms, before the lady of the house had a major leak on her hands that would have brought down the ceiling.
My mobile kicks into life and I groan as I spot the caller ID.
‘Yes, Anita. What’s wrong?’
‘Joe has an ear infection and I forgot to pick up some medicine.