Yang frowned. ‘I was quite convinced we were married.’ He smoothed a hand over the front of his robe. ‘I remember looking forward eagerly to our wedding night until your father tried to kill me.’
She let out a shaky breath. It was all her father’s doing then. She hadn’t been absolutely certain of it until now. Father had hosted the wedding to fool her as well as Yang. He was not a diligent and honest public servant, nor was he the caring and doting father she’d assumed he was.
‘Jin-mei, why are you here?’ Yang asked, watching her with a serious expression.
‘You’re my husband,’ she replied, her tone flat. ‘I go where you go.’
‘It’s not that simple.’
She looked away from him, towards the wall. ‘What if you had been taught from birth that honesty and truth were more important than air and water? What if you had been told there was no sacrifice too great to make for the pursuit of justice? And then one day you found out everything was a lie. Could you stay and pretend that you didn’t know?’
With a shuddering breath, she tried to compose herself as the tears threatened to fall. Maybe some small part of her needed to remember what it had been like to be that trusting. To be that innocent. That warm and sheltered place could still exist in her heart, but only if she left it behind. Intact.
‘We were both his puppets,’ Bao Yang said soberly.
But the difference was she was his daughter. She could never go back and could never see her father again. Because the moment he opened his mouth, she would now know his words meant nothing and what was left of her fragile world would completely shatter.
‘This isn’t simple,’ she echoed. ‘This is the hardest decision I’ve ever made.’
For a long moment, he said nothing. She thought that he might have moved closer to her. She could feel heat rising up the back of her neck at the thought of the two of them being alone together.
‘The world of rivers and lakes is a dangerous place,’ he warned.
‘I’ve made my decision,’ Jin-mei said stubbornly, her voice thick with emotion. It hurt to see the world in this harsh new light. ‘So rivers and lakes are what it will be from now on.’
Pulling a spare robe out from her pack, she rolled it to create a pillow and lay down. The lurch of the water kept her from truly resting, and Yang was silent for a long time as he watched her.
‘I am very exhausted myself,’ he said finally, stretching out on his berth.
‘You’re staying here?’
He turned just enough to regard her with one eye. ‘Of course I am. You’re my wife and we’re among dangerous individuals.’
She rolled on to her back, staring up at the ceiling while her heart thudded inside her chest. They were only husband and wife in name, and only barely that. Their marriage had not been consummated.
Not too long ago, she had dreamt about being wed to this dashing and successful associate of her father’s. The handsome young man with the laughing eyes and the crooked nose. It might very well have been a mistake to follow him, but where else was she to go? A woman belonged to her father first and then her husband. But more importantly, she couldn’t stay knowing what she knew about her father. She’d rather risk the danger of bandits and thieves than bite her tongue and pretend that she was still ignorant.
This is an adventure, Jin-mei told herself firmly. One that she hoped she wouldn’t regret.
Jin-mei woke up lying on her back, stiff and unable to move. Where was she? She was confused until the lap of the water against the hull reminded her she was on a river ship.
Rolling on to her side, she saw the berth next to hers was empty. At first she was afraid to venture outside the curtain. She could hear the sounds of the crew moving about on deck. Everyone was in motion, going about their duties, while she alone was sitting still and waiting for—
She wasn’t sure what she was waiting for. All she knew was that a proper young lady should probably remain secluded and out of sight of strangers.
After an hour of being proper, she poked her head outside the curtain. The berths were empty and she wandered through the deck. The girl Nan intercepted her at the foot of the stairs.
‘Miss, the morning meal is already finished,’ she scolded.
With that, the girl beckoned for Jin-mei to follow while she moved on nimble feet through the corridor. The galley and kitchen were located towards the front of the ship. Nan disappeared inside and, after some shouting, returned with a bowl of rice porridge.
‘Remember, the first bell always rings at daybreak.’ She thrust the bowl into Jin-mei’s hands before hurrying off.
Back in her berth, Jin-mei ate alone with the curtain drawn. The rice porridge was thick and flavored with a salted egg. Though it was a simple meal, she took her time finishing it. There was nothing to do once she was done. Loneliness set in like a thick fog around her.
There was no use wallowing in regret. She had left home because she had to. This emptiness would fade with time. She finished her meal and climbed the steps on to the top deck.
Sunlight flooded all around her. A strong breeze filled the sails, and the shore was no more than a sliver in the distance on either side.
A group of crewmen were lined up on the deck and armed with bamboo poles. They appeared to be running through fighting drills, executing strikes and blocks. The eastern barbarian, Kenji, led the men through the exercise while Lady Daiyu watched from the prow.
All around her, everyone had a place and a purpose, either adjusting the ropes on the sails or cleaning the deck. Jin-mei had paid for her passage and could hardly be expected to engage in the upkeep of the ship, yet she found herself wishing she had some task to occupy herself.
Jin-mei took a deep breath and forced herself to approach Kenji. His shadow engulfed her and his hands looked large enough to crush rock.
‘May I practise with you, Master Kenji?’ she asked.
It was a ridiculous request, but she was in a strange predicament. At first the foreigner didn’t even acknowledge her request. It was like speaking to the silent mountains.
‘Miss, this is not for show.’ He turned his back to her to watch over the drills. ‘We are training here.’
Her first inclination was to disappear back into the sleeping quarters and spend the day with a needle and thread, something familiar to her, to calm her nerves. But if she was going to survive outside the four walls of her father’s house, she would need to be stronger and bolder. She straightened her shoulders, taking what little extra height it gave her.
‘The world of rivers and lakes is a dangerous place,’ she said, echoing Yang’s words. ‘I want to learn how to defend myself.’
Kenjii laughed. Rudely. ‘What do you know about rivers and lakes?’
‘Be hospitable to our guest.’
The lady captain spoke from the other end of the deck. Yang was at Daiyu’s side and he leaned in to tell her something. A knot formed in Jin-mei’s stomach at the sight of the two of them standing so closely. The knot pulled tighter as the other woman approached.
Daiyu held out her hand to one of the crewmen and he surrendered his staff to her. She turned the bamboo around in her hands, as if testing its weight, before holding it out to Jin-mei. Tentatively, Jin-mei closed her hands around the pole and tried to mimic how the men were holding it. Yang met her eyes with an amused expression