‘Yang!’ Several people turned to stare at her, but she didn’t care. She tried to shove through, but it was no use. Yang was gone.
* * *
Jin-mei was still searching the marketplace when Li Feng found her. ‘I apologise, Lady Tan, but my husband was in there—’
‘I need to go home,’ Jin-mei interrupted. ‘I need to speak to my father.’
The constable’s wife seemed to have lost any desire for an outing as well. The magistrate’s residence was only a few streets away. Jin-mei attempted a hasty farewell once they reached the gates, but Li Feng stopped her.
‘Your late husband... I apologise if this brings up painful memories, but was he from around here?’
‘He was a merchant from the north. Taining County.’
There it was again. The tiniest of frowns flickered over the other woman’s face. Li Feng held her breath for a beat too long before responding. ‘My condolences on your loss, Lady Tan.’
‘Thank you for your kind thoughts.’
They exchanged polite bows and Li Feng hurried away while Jin-mei rushed through the gates into her home.
Their residence was a part of the walled compound of the magistrate’s yamen. Every morning, Father would have his tea in their private courtyard before passing through the gate that connected the living quarters to the judicial offices and tribunal. Jin-mei had never gone through the gate before, but she did so now.
The guards patrolling the grounds of the yamen raised their eyebrows, but otherwise gave her no trouble as she started down the corridor towards the main courtyard. There, a series of buildings and offices spread out before her and she was at a loss. Jin-mei knew petitioners lined up for the tribunal and prisoners were kept in cells at the back of the compound, but it was intimidating to see it all at work.
She had to ask a clerk for the location to her father’s office, but it was surprisingly empty when she arrived. Her father returned a few moments later, surrounded by guards. Constable Han was beside him, engaged in a heated discussion that fell silent when they saw her.
Jin-mei might never be able to read faces as well as her father, but some mannerisms were easy to interpret. Constable Han bowed hastily and excused himself. Father made an effort to compose himself before approaching.
He ushered her into his office and shut the door. ‘Jin-mei, what brings you here?’
‘Bao Yang is alive.’ Her pulse was still pounding. ‘I saw him out on the street, but he moved away so quickly, I couldn’t catch him.’
‘My dear daughter. I know how saddened you are by his loss.’ Her father took hold of her hands and his expression was one of anguish. ‘It is my own failing that I haven’t been able to find his killer.’
He wasn’t listening. ‘Yang isn’t dead. I saw him,’ she repeated fervently. ‘Right outside of the drinking house in the centre of the Seven Alleys.’
Father nodded, but it wasn’t a nod of agreement. It was an obliging nod, a nod of forbearance. ‘Jin-mei, you have always been clear-headed, but this tragedy is one very close to your heart. And with it being so soon after both your wedding and his death... Seven days after a person dies, his spirit returns home.’
‘I didn’t see a ghost. It was him!’ she insisted.
‘I believe you saw something your heart wanted to see.’ Again that nod and a pained look. ‘I know you’ve been lost these last few days. Lonely.’
He drew her into his arms, something he hadn’t done since she was a child. For a moment, she closed her eyes and let her father embrace her. It was reassuring to be held close. Jin-mei had indeed been feeling lost. And she was lonely all of the time now, even in their house among family.
‘I’ve never told anyone this,’ he began, stroking her hair gently. ‘But after your mother passed, I saw her. I was in the garden one morning, drinking tea, and I could feel her there. Then I turned and there she was, just for a moment. I tried to speak to her and she was gone. Not faded away like smoke, just there in one blink and gone in the next. After that I only saw her in dreams, but we never are able to speak to one another, as much as I want to. Is that how it was for you, Jin-mei?’
She was so caught up in her father’s story that she had nearly forgotten about Yang. ‘I called out to him but...but he disappeared.’
Had she imagined it? That was what her rational mind was telling her to accept. She pulled away from her father. ‘I saw him very clearly.’
‘I know,’ he replied with a sad smile. ‘It was the same way with your mother.’
Father looked away and her heart went out to him. It was as Lady Yi had said, Mother was the love of his life and she always would be. Slowly he returned to his desk and made an attempt to organise his case records to compose himself.
A moment earlier she had been so certain Yang was alive, but Father had cast doubt over everything she’d seen. If Yang had survived the fall, why hadn’t he returned to her? She knew of cases where people hit their heads and forgot all their memories. The fall from the ravine could have caused such an injury, but if her husband was indeed wandering through the city in confusion, certainly he would have been found by one of her father’s constables.
‘I was thinking for a while that it might be good for you to spend some time away,’ Father went on. ‘Perhaps a trip to the mountains with Lady Yi.’
‘During the mourning period? That would be disrespectful—’
Jin-mei caught herself. Once again, she was talking about Yang as if he were indeed dead.
‘After the proper mourning period, of course. In the meantime, take comfort that your husband’s spirit is with you. He hasn’t forgotten you.’
She nodded and took her leave, feeling confused and numb. Father was obviously very busy and she was barely making sense. She had so many questions to ask, but she didn’t know where to start. As Jin-mei made the long walk back to the living quarters, she tried to arrange all the pieces. Father’s explanation was indeed the rational one, but some instinct inside her refused to let go.
When she was young, she hadn’t listened to whimsical folk tales. Her father had entertained her instead with famous case accounts. The stories always featured clever officials who knew a lie immediately. They never accepted the obvious solution and were unsatisfied when the pieces of a puzzle didn’t fit together just right.
Jin-mei was unsatisfied.
Once she was back in the familiar surroundings of their house, she realised what was bothering her. Father had returned to his office with Constable Han. The constable’s wife had mentioned that Han was in the drinking house—could that mean her father had been there as well? At the very same time she had seen Yang in the street just outside.
It was possibly all coincidence, but Father was acting strange. Constable Han was acting strange. His wife as well. Perhaps heaven and earth had switched places and Jin-mei was the only one who found any of it odd.
Amah was out in the garden, watching over Jin-mei’s two brothers, which meant the old nursemaid was sitting beneath the shade of pavilion as the boys fought over a wooden boat.
She passed them by with a nod to Amah and went to her father’s study. The room was cool and dark with the shutters drawn. A sanctuary.
She had never, never been in Father’s study without his permission. Her hand trembled as she opened the drawer. A seed of an idea had been planted inside her. If she didn’t rid herself of this suspicion immediately, it would continue to take root and fester.
There were letters in the drawer. She looked quickly through them, finding nothing of any significance. Beneath the letters lay a thin book with a blue cover. She lifted it and saw a folded paper tucked away at the very