“Breathe and relax,” he said. I followed his instructions and focused on him. I briefly looked at the more advanced skaters as they whooshed by.
“They make this look so easy,” I mumbled.
“It is once you get the hang of it.” Jeremy reached for my free hand, the one that wasn’t clawing the rail. “Now give me your other hand.”
“I’m not ready, Jeremy. I’m going to fall,” I said, filled with fear and dread.
“No, you’re not. I have you,” he assured me. I reluctantly gave him my other hand.
“Oh, my God,” I said as I wobbled.
“Breathe,” he reminded me again.
“Okay,” I said as I inhaled and exhaled a few times.
“Good. See. You’re standing,” he said. I laughed cautiously as I squeezed his hands. I was holding on to him so tightly that I thought for sure I’d crush his fingers into a fine powder.
“Okay. Just stand like that,” Jeremy said, and the next thing I knew we were moving, albeit slowly, as a feather floating on air.
“Oh, my God!” I wanted to scream but instead I closed my eyes. Jeremy seemed to love the idea that I was totally green at this and got a kick out of having to teach me.
“Open your eyes or you’ll miss everything.” His voice sounded sweet but I was done listening to him for the moment.
“I’m afraid,” I admitted, feeling a bit foolish.
“Come on. Open them up,” he said as I could feel my legs wobbling and threatening to buckle. I slowly opened my eyes and realized that Jeremy was towing me along the edge of the rink at a very measured and unhurried pace. I mustered up the courage to gaze at the urban beauty surrounding us. The tall buildings and bright city lights were picturesque. I could hear Nat King Cole singing “The Christmas Song” in the background.
“You’re doing great,” Jeremy said. His encouraging tone brought back the memory of my dad cheering me on when I was first learning how to ride my bike without the training wheels.
“No, I’m not. You’re doing all of the work,” I said, hoping I would not inadvertently trip over my feet.
“You’re doing great because you have the courage to trust me,” he said.
“Uh-huh,” I said as I continued to look around.
“Anna,” Jeremy whispered.
“Yeah,” I answered, feeling panicky.
“Look at me,” he said. I turned my attention back to him. Jeremy leaned into me and kissed me tenderly. Time always seemed to slow down just a little when he kissed me. That was a feeling that I hoped would never disappear.
“What are you doing to me?” I whispered softly.
“Trying to be a good boyfriend,” he said as we slowed down.
“You are the perfect boyfriend for me,” I said as he reached out and drew me closer and hugged me.
* * *
The following weekend Lauren and I hitched a ride to the Orland Square Mall with her mom and her aunt. We were both excited about spending the day shopping for dresses and accessories for the holiday dance. When we arrived at the mall it was difficult to find a parking space because, judging by the amount of cars already there, the mall was packed with holiday shoppers. After circling around for fifteen minutes, a spot opened up. We all exited the vehicle and headed toward the mall entrance. Once inside, we merged with a slow but steady movement of shoppers. Grandmothers had taken over the sitting areas and were placed in charge of keeping an eye on the shopping bags while the rest of their families continued on. Young mothers were pushing wailing babies who were strapped tightly in their strollers or dealing with random temper tantrums of toddlers who couldn’t get a toy that they wanted.
Lauren’s mother told us to check in often and keep in touch through texting and phone calls. Lauren gave her mom and aunt a hug and I did the same. Afterward, Lauren and I maneuvered our way through the throngs of holiday shoppers. Soon we came across a gathering of people standing outside of a music store. They were listening to a girl about our age singing “Jingle Bell Rock” on a karaoke machine. She had on brown snow boots, blue jeans and a red holiday sweater. She was very energetic and got the crowd to clap and sing along with her. Before we realized it, Lauren and I decided to be silly by spontaneously dancing to the music. This triggered a wave of excitement and caused little kids and their parents to get in on the fun. That was one of the things I loved about Lauren: she was a blast to hang out with. We eventually laughed and giggled ourselves onward toward one of the department stores. We entered through the cosmetics area, where there were people sitting in chairs and allowing sales associates to apply makeup.
“I want to come back this way so that I can look at some makeup,” Lauren said.
“I’m cool with that.” We made our way over to the escalator and took it up several levels to the dress department.
“May I help you find something?” asked a sales associate as soon as she saw us.
“No, thanks. We’re just looking,” I said to her.
“Well, what are you looking for? Maybe I can help you find it.” She was determined to be helpful in some way.
“I’m not sure, but we’ll know it when we see it,” I said, hoping she would pick up the hint and move on.
“What do you think about this one?” Lauren had moved over to where the dresses were located while I was busy getting rid of the help.
“That’s cute,” I said as I touched the material. Lauren held the dress up to her body.
“Hmm,” I said.
“What? Be honest,” Lauren insisted.
“I’m not too crazy about the color.” I raised my eyebrow and twisted my mouth a bit to indicate that the shade just wasn’t right for her.
Lauren and I moved on to several other smaller stores. Eventually we ended up at another large department store that had a selection of dresses that suited both our tastes. I let Lauren try on her dress first while I waited. She had picked out a red velvet scoop neck and draped flowing skirt that fastened at the waist with a black patent belt. When she emerged from the fitting-room stall, I was there to scrutinize how the dress fit and looked.
“That looks so hot on you,” I complimented her. “Turn around so I can see the back.” Lauren turned and looked over her shoulder at me to gauge my reaction. I smiled.
“Do you really think it’s nice?” she asked again.
“Yes. You look perfect,” I said.
“So you think I should get it?” she asked.
“You would be crazy not to.”
“I’ll have to find some shoes and earrings to go with it,” she said.
“I know the perfect place we can go,” I responded, thinking of one of my favorite shoe stores that was on the other side of the mall.
“Go try your dress on. I’ll wait out here for you,” Lauren said. I took my dress into the fitting room. I had picked out a classic A-line sheath dress. If it fit well I planned to purchase a silver heart locket and some silver star earrings that dangled. I would also need to double back and get the red high-heel pumps with the silver bows adorning the heels that we saw at another store.
When I stepped out of the fitting-room stall in my dress, I caught Lauren’s attention. When our eyes met I could tell something was wrong right away.
“Does the dress really look bad on me?” I asked, feeling self-conscious. Lauren walked closer to me, looped her arm through mine