But Joe had been convinced that his adjustments would be different, easier than the other men’s. To begin with, he wasn’t coming home to a wife and family.
Or at least he hadn’t planned to come home to a wife and family.
And yet here he was—on Christmas Eve—divorced on paper, but up to his ears in family life and getting in deeper by the minute.
He had to face up to the inescapable truth. No matter how much distance he put between himself and his family, there would always be ties to Ellie and Jacko.
It was so obvious now. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before.
And here was another thing. By coming back to Karinya, he was forced to see his absence in Afghanistan from Ellie’s point of view, and he didn’t like the picture he discovered.
While he’d played the war hero, earning his fellow soldiers’ high regard, his wife—she’d still been his wife, after all—had slogged for long, hard days on this property, and she’d done it alone for the most part. As well, with no support whatsoever from him, she’d weathered the long awaited pregnancy and birth of their son.
On her own.
After the years of heartbreak and invasive procedures that had eroded their marriage, Joe knew damn well that the nine months of pregnancy must have been a huge emotional roller coaster for Ellie.
And what had he done? He’d tried to block out all thoughts of her pregnancy. And he’d let her soldier on. Yes, Ellie had most definitely soldiered on. Alone. Courageously.
Just thinking about it made Joe tremble now. During that whole time, Ellie must have believed he didn’t care.
Hell. No wonder she had trouble trusting his motives today. No wonder she’d expected him to escape in Steve’s chopper as soon as he had the chance.
And yet, strangely, escape had been the last thing on his mind. Shouldn’t he be worried about that?
WHEN ELLIE WOKE early next morning, she felt an immediate riff of excitement, a thrill straight from childhood.
Christmas morning!
She went to her bedroom window and looked out. It was raining again, but not too heavily. She didn’t mind about the rain—at least it would cool things down.
‘Happy Christmas,’ she whispered to the pale pink glimmer in the clouds on the eastern horizon, and then she gave a little skip. Rain, hail or shine, she was more excited about this Christmas than she had been in years.
Having a child to share the fun made such a difference. And this year they had all Joe’s bounty to enjoy, as well as his pleasant company during their day-long truce.
The truce was a big part of the difference.
Don’t think about tomorrow. Just make the most of today.
On the strength of that, Ellie dressed festively in red jeans and a white sleeveless blouse with a little frill around the neckline. When she brushed her hair, she was about to tie it back into its usual ponytail when she changed her mind and left it to swing free about her shoulders.
Why not? They might be in the isolated outback, but it was Christmas, so she threaded gold hoops in her ears as well, and sprayed on a little scent.
On her way to the kitchen she passed Jacko’s room, but he was still asleep, still unaware of the exciting bundle at the end of his cot. He normally wouldn’t wake for at least another hour.
As Ellie passed the open door of Joe’s room, she glanced in and saw that his bed was made, so he was already up, too. She felt pleased. It would be nice to share an early morning cuppa while they planned their day together.
Maybe they could start with a breakfast of scrambled eggs and smoked salmon with croissants? And they could brew proper coffee and have an extra croissant with that new, expensive marmalade.
Joe might have other ideas, of course. He wasn’t in the kitchen, however.
Ellie turned on the kettle and went to the doorway while she waited for it to come to the boil. Almost immediately, she saw movement out in a paddock.
Joe?
She crossed the veranda to get a better view through the misty rain. It was definitely Joe out there and he was bending over a cow that seemed to be on the ground.
Ellie frowned. Most of her pregnant cows had calved, but one or two had been late to drop. She hoped this one wasn’t in trouble.
Grabbing a coat and Akubra from the pegs by the back door, she shoved her feet into gumboots and hurried down the steps and over the wet, slippery grass, dodging puddles in the track that ran beside the barbed wire fence.
‘Is everything OK?’ she called as she reached Joe.
He’d been crouching beside the cow, but when Ellie called he straightened. He was dressed as she was in a dark oilskin coat and broad-brimmed hat. In the dull grey morning light, his eyes were very bright blue.
Ellie had always had a thing for Joe’s eyes. This morning they seemed to glow. They set her pulses dancing.
‘Everything’s fine,’ he said. ‘You have a new calf.’
And now she dragged her attention to the cow and saw that she had indeed delivered her calf. It was huddled on the ground beside her, dark red and still damp, receiving a motherly lick.
‘Her bellowing woke me up,’ Joe said. ‘So I came out to investigate, but she’s managed fine without any help.’
‘That’s great. And now we have a little Christmas calf,’ Ellie said, smiling.
‘Yes.’ Joe smiled too and his gaze rested on her. ‘Happy Christmas, Ellie.’
‘Happy Christmas.’ Impulsively, she stepped forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
He kissed her in reply—just a simple little kiss on her cheek, but, to her embarrassment, bright heat bloomed where his lips touched her skin.
Awkwardly, she stepped away and paid studious attention to the little calf as it staggered to its feet. It was incredibly cute, all big eyes and long spindly legs.
‘It’s a boy,’ Joe said, and almost immediately the little fellow gave a skip and tried to headbutt its tired mum.
Ellie laughed, but the laugh died when she saw Joe’s suddenly serious expression.
‘I’ve been thinking about you,’ he said. ‘I never asked what it was like—when Jacko was born.’
She felt winded, caught out. ‘Oh, God, don’t ask.’
He was frowning. ‘Why? Was it bad?’
You shouldn’t be bothering with this now. Not after all this time.
‘I know I should have asked you long ago, Ellie.’ Joe’s throat worked. ‘I’m sorry, but I’d like to know. Was...was it OK?’
Even now, memories of her prolonged labour made her wince. She’d been alone and frightened in a big Townsville hospital, and she’d been unlucky. Rather than having the assistance of a nice, sensitive and understanding midwife, the nurse designated to look after her had been brusque and businesslike. Unsympathetic.
So many times during her twenty plus hours of labour, Ellie could have benefited from a little hand-holding. A comforting companion. But she wouldn’t tell Joe that. Not now.
Especially not today.
She dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand. ‘Most women