“Yes, you are.” Jude felt a pang of guilt for staying out so late. He didn’t want his mother to stay up and wait for Zane. That was Jude’s job. Once in twelve years wasn’t bad, though.
“You were out with Ms. Hurley. Did you talk about me?”
“Our favorite topic of conversation.”
“Cool, Dad. I’m going to check on Little Dove and then come back and get ready for school so I can find a cure for cancer.” His cheeky son had the audacity to wink.
Zane darted out the door and Jude stood and stretched and then made his way to the shower. Today was the day. He would meet Paige for the first time in almost thirteen years. He wondered if she’d changed. Everyone changed in that amount of time. He certainly had. He wasn’t that scared teenage boy anymore. Raising a child had toughened him up quickly. He had to stay on his toes to make good choices and cowboy up when things got rough.
That scared boy had become a man ready to take on the world for Zane. He’d never for one minute regretted going back to get his son. But today he would have to explain that decision to Paige. He was prepared now. The scared boy had surfaced for a moment because he was afraid of losing the one thing that mattered the most to him in this world: his son. That bond was rock-solid and Jude knew that better than anyone.
Since he was going to a funeral, Jude put on starched jeans and a white shirt. With his hair combed, his hat in his hand, he headed for the door, only to be stopped by Zane coming through it.
“That was quick.” His son had a strange look on his face, one Jude knew well. Something was wrong and he knew not to push or Zane would clam up. “The foal okay?”
“Yeah. She was sucking, so I guess everything’s okay.”
“Didn’t you talk to Uncle Quincy?”
Zane shook his head. “He and Aunt Jenny were curled up in the hay under a blanket asleep, so I didn’t wake them.”
“You could have. It would have been okay.”
With his small shoulders hunched, Zane replied, “I don’t know, Dad. It’s different now.”
“How is it different?”
“Uncle Quincy doesn’t have much time for me anymore.”
Jude sat on the bed and patted the spot beside him. Quincy had spoiled Zane, just as he’d spoiled Grandpa and everyone else by lavishing his attention on them. He was that type of person.
“Uncle Quincy still loves you and you’re still his partner. But life is about changes. Nothing stays the same.”
Zane looked up at him. “I think that’s a line from a song, Dad.”
Jude ruffled Zane’s hair. “It’s true. Having fun with Uncle Quincy will change, too. You’ll want to spend more and more time with your friends and away from the ranch.”
Zane’s eyes narrowed. “I’m never leaving the ranch.”
Jude didn’t push it, because they’d had this conversation many times about college and it always upset Zane. “Trust me. You won’t always think that way. You’ll change. As much as you say you won’t, you will. And if you don’t, the ranch will always be here. It will always be home.”
“And you’ll always be here?”
“You bet.” There was no place on earth Jude would rather be. Zane got that from him. By Zane’s somber expression, Jude knew something else was bothering his son. “What is it, son?”
“Uh... Uncle Quincy and Aunt Jenny were curled up together. Uncle Quincy had his arms around her and they were like one person.”
They’d already had the sex talk, so it couldn’t be about that. Jude was sweating bullets thinking about how to answer his son.
Zane saved him. “Uncle Quincy really loves Aunt Jenny.”
“And she loves him.”
“Yeah. That’s nice, huh?”
“Yes. You have one more person who loves you.”
“Aunt Jenny gives big hugs and she smells good.”
“So you see it’s a good thing Uncle Quincy found someone.”
“Yeah.” There was still a slight hesitation in Zane’s voice.
“If you want to talk to Uncle Quincy, just go over to his barn and talk to him. He won’t disappoint you. I promise.”
There was silence for a moment and Jude struggled to find words to soothe his son’s bruised heart. Before Jude could find the right words, Zane looked up at him again and asked, “Did you love my mama like Uncle Quincy loves Aunt Jenny?”
Jude’s throat closed up and every word he knew dissipated like smoke into thin air. He tried not to show any reaction but knew that wouldn’t work. He’d always been honest with Zane, but now he struggled with the truth. He wasn’t sure why. It was just difficult to talk about his feelings for Paige, especially with his son.
He swallowed hard. “Yes, I loved your mother more than I can ever tell you. We were inseparable in high school and...”
Zane wrapped his arms around Jude’s waist and buried his face against him. “You don’t have to talk about her, Dad.”
He held his son close. “It’s okay. You were conceived in love. That’s why you’re such a happy kid.”
Zane drew back to gaze up at Jude. “I hope she doesn’t come back like Eden’s mom did. I don’t think I would like her. It’s just me and you, right, Dad? You and me against the world. We’re Rebels and we’re rowdy.”
“You bet. Now you better get ready for school. Aunt Rachel will be here any minute.”
“Okay.” Zane stared at Jude. “Why are you all dressed up?”
Jude took a moment. “I’m going to a funeral this morning.”
“Oh. I’m sorry someone died.”
Jude hugged his son. Zane had this innate softness inside him, making him genuinely considerate and sincere. He was truly sorry someone had died. That was just the way he was. He got that from Paige.
Ruffling his son’s hair, Jude said, “We need to get your hair cut again.”
Zane pulled back, smiling. He was happy again. “I want to get it cut before the race because I don’t want any hair in my eyes when Bear and I zoom past everybody. We’re going to win, Dad! Uncle Quincy said so. I filled out the form and put it and my money in an envelope. When are you going to take it in to the paper?”
“I’ll take it before I go to the funeral.”
“Cool.” Zane dashed into his room and came back with the envelope. “It’s all there. You just have to give it to Miss Maureen and get my number. I hope it’s a nine. Nine is my lucky number. Oh, yeah.” Zane danced off to his room.
When had nine become his lucky number? That was news to Jude, but he had a feeling that as Zane grew, a lot of things were going to be news to him. Little boys tended to keep secrets. He knew that for a fact ’cause he’d kept many from his parents. Not biggies, but secrets.
In the kitchen, Falcon, Quincy and Egan were having coffee with their mother.
“So you’re waiting till the birth to find out the sex of the baby?” his mother asked Egan.
“Yeah. I just would rather do that and Rachel agreed with me. Although she was very tempted to find out.”
Jericho was right. Jude poured a cup and joined them at the table.
“I guess you’re going to the funeral.” His mother