Bollocks.
I tried to wiggle myself free, but it was no good. Another woman began to speak about her week.
‘I got a dog walking flyer through my door today and it made me think of Hobie and how much I miss him. He was a right handful at times, but I’d let him chew every pair of slippers I own to have him back with me again. You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, as clichéd as that sounds.’
Those words made me think of belting out Big Yellow Taxi to a church full of people. I thought back to that day, of how it had felt saying goodbye to Nana Lily. The finality of it all made tears well up in my eyes and caused the chatter from the meeting to drop to a low hum. She had been such a huge part of my life and it still hadn’t hit me that I’d never see her again.
My thoughts then turned to meeting Jake and finding out I’d been left Rose Cottage. They were two surprises I definitely hadn’t expected when I’d come back. My return to Luna Bay hadn’t been all bad, when I thought about it. Aside from my confrontation with Maggie, it had been quite pleasant.
Another attempt to shake the chair leg free failed.
‘It’s never easy to lose a pet,’ I heard Diane say. ‘They become like part of the family and it’s heartbreaking to have to say goodbye to them. We’re all with you Jean, aren’t we folks?’
Cue murmurs of support from the rest of the group.
‘Thanks everyone. You’ve no idea what this means to –’
She was cut short by me falling arse over head into the middle of their conversation. I’d finally managed to get the chair leg out from behind the loose floorboard, but the effort I put into freeing myself had toppled the chair backwards and sent me flying. The whole of the Broken Hearts Book Club turned to look at who’d intruded on their private meeting and they didn’t look happy to see me.
‘Well, well, well, if it isn’t Lucy Harper.’ Diane got up and extended a hand to help me up. She didn’t look best pleased that I was gatecrashing their meeting.
‘Hello everyone!’ I did my sunniest smile and waved. ‘Lovely weather we’re having, eh?’
Unsurprisingly, nobody waved back.
‘So you decided to gatecrash our meeting, did you?’
My cheeks flushed furiously. ‘Not exactly. I-I heard about this club after my Nana Lily’s funeral and I… Well I wanted to find out more about it. I didn’t mean any harm, really I didn’t. I-I didn’t even know you were having the meeting here today.’
Diane folded her arms across her broad chest and pursed her lips. I felt like a naughty child who’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
‘Well if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a meeting to get back to,’ she said, turning back to return to her seat.
‘Wait! Look, I know I haven’t been back round here for long and that I left under a bit of a cloud, but all I wanted to do was find out more about the club. Nana Lily, she… She kind of left it to me in her will.’
This revelation prompted a collective gasp from the club members. I felt like I was in a really badly devised soap opera.
‘She what?’ Diane rose from her chair and looked at me with an alarmed expression. ‘Why the hell would she do that?’
‘I don’t know,’ I admitted with a shrug and nervously began fiddling with a loose thread on my jumper. ‘She said she wanted me to chair the club and spread a bit of cheer to you all, help to brighten you all up a bit.’
Diane’s face darkened and she put her hands on her hips. I had a feeling I’d just made things a whole lot worse. Open mouth, insert foot.
‘This club does not need “brightening up”, thank you very much! We’re fine as we are.’
I decided to let Nana Lily do the talking, so I pulled the last page of the letter from my bag and passed it to Diane. As she scanned it I watched her face contort into a disgusted scowl. I was glad I’d left out the part where Nana Lily said I needed to run the club for three months in order to get the cottage.
‘Obviously that was a moment of madness on Lily’s part. This book club needs someone who knows the members and the way things work to run it, not somebody who hasn’t even lived in the village for eight years.’ Her eyes caught mine and I felt myself shiver, ‘And we all know why that is.’
Oh no, I thought, please don’t mention the Vicky thing.
‘Look,’ I said, preventing her from going any further. ‘I agree with you; I don’t think I’d be much good at chairing a book club for broken-hearted people. From what I heard, you obviously know what you’re doing and you’d be a much better chairwoman than me. Sorry to disturb you guys, I’ll leave you in peace.’
I turned to walk away, expecting to feel relieved that I’d satisfied my curiosity and passed responsibility on to Diane. But I didn’t; I felt bereft. In abdicating my responsibility to the book club, I’d also given up Rose Cottage. Someone else would be living in it before too long, making memories and enjoying all it had to offer. It made me sad to think that person wouldn’t be me.
‘For what it’s worth,’ I said, turning back for a moment, ‘you all sound like you’re doing amazingly. Obviously you all already know that I lost my nana recently. We were very close – she was a huge part of my life and I miss her terribly. I-I hope you guys all find a way through your grief soon. I really didn’t mean to disturb your meeting.’
I went to walk out, but felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned round, the rosy-cheeked woman was looking at me like a baby fawn she’d found in the road.
‘You come in and sit with us darling,’ she said gently. ‘There’s a spare seat at our table if you fancy joining us? You can sit in on a meeting and see what we’re all about. I’m Denise, by the way. Nice to meet you.’
‘Oh I wouldn’t want to intrude!’
‘Nonsense, there’s always room for one more.’ Denise smiled warmly and linked her arm through mine. ‘Isn’t there Diane?’
My eyes widened in alarm. I hadn’t bargained on being invited to stay; all I’d wanted was to eavesdrop on the meeting to get a feel for the club. Plus it was evident that Diane didn’t want me here; leaving was the best option, like it always was.
‘Well actually –’
‘See, course there is! There’s always space for anyone who wants to join.’
She guided me over to the table they were gathered at and showed me to a seat on the end. Then she resumed her place next to Diane and looked at me, along with everyone else.
‘Right, well this is the Luna Bay Broken Hearts Book Club! We meet in here every week for tea, cake and book discussions. As you know, we’re without a chairperson since your nana passed away. I suppose that’ll be you if you decide to give it a go! I don’t know if you know anything about the club or what we do?’
I shook my head. ‘I’ve never heard of it. Nana Lily didn’t mention anything about it to me when she was alive.’
‘Well, she started it in 2007 just after your granddad Jack died. She was so lonely without him and started the group as a way of being part of things and socialising again. It used to be called the Luna Bay Book Club. Then, one by one, we all started to be affected by grief and tragedy so the ‘broken hearts’ bit was added. We go round the group, say what kind of week we’ve had, then we discuss the book we’ve been reading. This week’s is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.’
A lump rose in my throat as I learned