‘I saw Maggie the other day; she didn’t exactly roll out the welcome wagon when she saw me.’ I laughed emptily: that was the understatement of the year. ‘Have you seen her since you got back, Elle?’
The memory of her gaze casually sliding away from me, as though I was nothing, replayed in my head again. Even as a collection of thoughts, it was deeply unsettling.
She shook her head, sending her blonde waves cascading around her shoulders. ‘I haven’t seen her since the… Well since the thing happened. Listen, could you keep my place in the queue? I’ll be back in a minute.’
She strode off in the direction of the toilets and I was left alone at the bar. My eyes fell to Jake, who was pulling pints and interacting with locals. Every so often, his face would break out into the most wondrous smile I’d ever seen. Elle was right, he was my type. He caught my eye for the briefest second and it did funny, flippy things to my insides.
Sneaking a look back at George, I saw his nose was still buried in the karaoke songbook. He had his ‘let’s find an obscure song’ face on and I made a mental note to choose something super-girly to sing later.
‘I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist a karaoke night.’ I almost jumped out of my skin to find Jake leaning on the bar next to me.
‘You know me,’ I said with a guarded smile, ‘I’m always making bad decisions. Like offering you advice earlier.’
His eyes fell to the sticky mahogany beneath him. ‘I’m sorry about going off on one at you. I was a dick and I shouldn’t have been. You were only trying to help. It’s appreciated, believe me. Another round?’
He started pulling George’s pint when I nodded and suddenly, an idea popped into my head.
‘Listen, I don’t know whether you’d be up for this but there’s a book club that meets every Wednesday called the Broken Hearts Book Club. It’s for people who are going through a hard time; they read books and talk about how they’re coping. Maybe you should come to a meeting? Could help you find a solution for this place.’
‘That’s a really kind thought Lucy, but a book club isn’t really my sort of thing and I can’t just leave this place unattended to swan off to a book club meeting.’
I smiled and nodded, but for some reason I couldn’t let it go, ‘You could bring them to you then, rent them the back room every second Wednesday or something? Then you could still be a part of it, just at every other meeting.’
He pushed himself off the bar with his fantastically muscly arms and folded them across his chest. ‘The renting thing isn’t a bad idea, but I wouldn’t have the time to join the group.’ Placing the three glasses in front of me he smiled guardedly, ‘Here you go. That’ll be eight-fifty.’
My heart sank; I felt disappointed that the club wouldn’t be gaining a new member. Especially one who needed help as much as he did. As I handed over the money I couldn’t help feeling that there was a reason he was resisting my attempts to help him.
‘I just thought you might like the support, that’s all.’
Like the utter legend she was, Elle returned just in time to help me with the drinks and I walked away from Jake, throwing him a glance over my shoulder.
As it happened, George didn’t choose an obscure song to sing. He chose the karaoke classic Mr Brightside by The Killers and the three of us belted it out for all we were worth. While I was up there on the makeshift stage, it didn’t matter who was glad to see me back or not. As I danced around the little stage with Elle and George, it was all about having fun and making an absolute fool of myself. I was able to let go and not worry about the secrets lurking in the background, or the voices in the back of my mind whispering that I didn’t deserve to be happy. For four glorious minutes, I was Lucy Harper, normal girl and terrible singer.
Elle and George shared a drunken kiss outside my parents’ cottage while I looked out over the water. The same burning question churned in my mind: should I stay or should I go?
My heart whispered at me to stay and although every instinct I had fought against it, I knew the whisper would soon become a shout I couldn’t ignore.
The only question was whether I was brave enough to listen.
I woke up the next morning with a mammoth headache and an all-too-clear memory of the night before. The same nagging tug to stay here and lead the Broken Hearts Book Club was still present, ruining any notion that it had been alcohol-fuelled. It had been there since I’d tumbled into the book club meeting and didn’t look like it was going away any time soon. As I got out of bed in search of water and comfort food, I couldn’t fight the urge to make my home here, help these broken-hearted people and possibly myself in the process. I’d been handed this beautiful fresh start; all I needed to do was reach out and grab it with both hands. Luna Bay had always held a special place in my heart, but I still wasn’t sure if I could really come back after all this time.
Would the people let me? Would I let me?
The sound of the doorbell ringing disturbed my train of thought and made my head pound even harder.
‘Christ alive, who’s this?’ I murmured, bundling my cardigan tighter as I stomped downstairs to open the door and nearly jumped out of my skin to find Jake standing on the doorstep.
‘Morning,’ he pursed his lips like he was trying desperately hard to suppress a smile. ‘Feeling a bit delicate?’
I groaned and started patting down my wayward hair, which currently resembled a bird’s nest. ‘You could say that. I think it’s safe to say I won’t be going near alcohol again for a long time.’
‘I’ve heard that umpteen times before.’ His smile won the battle and broke out onto his face, I was secretly quite glad. ‘Anyway, I just stopped by because your mate left his jacket in the pub last night. One of the cleaners found it so I thought I’d pass it on.’
He handed me George’s favourite leather jacket and I hung it carefully on the banister. It was his pride and joy and had been since he’d picked it up at a vintage market in Camden.
‘Thanks, he’ll be made up to have that back.’ I was aware I was grinning like a loon but I couldn’t stop myself. ‘Do you want to come in for a cup of tea or…?’
I gestured absently towards the kitchen, unsure what I could offer him apart from some breakfast and my most sincere apologies for doing karaoke.
He shook his head and dug his hands deep into his jeans pockets.
‘Can’t stop I’m afraid, got to get the pub open for lunchtime trading. Thanks for the offer though. Listen, I’ve been thinking about what you said about joining the, what was it called, the Broken Hearts Book Club? I’m still not sure on the whole being-a-member thing, but renting out the back room of the pub to them for meetings sounds good.’
‘Really? That’s great!’ I raised my eyebrows, ‘You do know that one day, you might actually have to admit that I’ve had a good idea?’
‘I’ll hold out on that one for as long as I can.’ He grinned and my stomach did a somersault. ‘Tell the members they’re welcome to use the back room any time eh? I heard someone say you were the leader now. Your nana left you the club or something?’
I opened my mouth to contradict him, but changed my mind. Hearing someone else say I was the leader of the club sounded pretty good to me and I didn’t want to ruin it.
‘That’s right! It’s all taking a bit of getting used to, especially since I’d never even been to a book club before coming here. I don’t know what’s happening at the moment,