There was a tiny silence. I flickered a glance at Phin. He was smiling, but the blue eyes held that odd expression again—the one that made me feel as if the world was tilting out of kilter.
‘You have no idea, do you?’ he said.
I swallowed. I didn’t want to remember that disconcerting wave of heat. I didn’t want to think about what it meant.
‘I don’t think it would be that easy,’ I told him, my eyes sliding away from his. ‘And even if I did find a boyfriend who wouldn’t mind the fact that I don’t actually want to be with him, when would Jonathan ever find out?’
‘I see what you mean. Someone at work would be better.’
‘Except if it was someone at work Jonathan would just feel sorry for him.’ My confidence was crumbling again. Quick, it was time for another gulp of pomegranate martini.
‘Not if it was obvious he was mad about you.’
‘Oh, so now I have to find a boyfriend who can act, too? I’d have to hire him, and where do you suggest I look?’
‘What about right here?’
I looked around the bar. ‘How do I know if any of these guys can act? Well, the barmen are probably resting actors, but I’d never dare talk to them—they’re far too cool.’
‘No, here,’ said Phin, tapping his chest.
My jaw dropped. ‘You?’
‘There’s no need to look like that! I’m perfect.’
‘I know you think so,’ said the third martini, and Phin grinned.
‘I do think so, and so will you if you think about it,’ he said. ‘Jonathan can hardly not notice if you’re with me, and I think you’ll find I’m not a bad actor. They still talk about my Ugly Sister in the school pantomime and, according to my mother, I stole the show in the nativity play as the sheep that fell over when it tried to kneel in front of the manger.’
‘I don’t know why you’re not in line for an Oscar,’ I said, ‘but why would you want to squander your great talent on me?’
‘I like you,’ said Phin simply, ‘even if you are a bit sharp with me sometimes. If I can help you, I will. Besides, it might work out quite well for me from a PR point of view.’
I frowned. ‘How do you work that out?’
‘Think about it. Jonathan was very keen to push my family credentials in the Glitz interview. How better to do that than pretend I’m about to settle down with you? You can hang around and look good for the article, which means that even if Jonathan hasn’t got the idea before, he definitely will then. A double whammy.’
He sat back smugly while I sipped my martini and considered what he had said. Surely it couldn’t be as easy as Phin seemed to believe?
‘What about Jewel?’ I prevaricated.
‘What about her? You said yourself that she’s been going out with someone else, poor guy. I’m well out of that one!’ said Phin. ‘I wouldn’t have had a plate left in the house. But now I come to think of it,’ he went on, ‘it might not be a bad idea to let her see I’m unavailable now. Just in case she’s thinking she might pick up where we left off before I went to Peru.’
‘I can’t believe you’d have much trouble finding someone else to make sure she gets the point,’ I demurred. ‘There must be much more likely types who would give the impression that you’re ready to settle down.’
‘I wouldn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea,’ said Phin, not bothering to deny it. It would have been annoying if he had, but I was annoyed anyway. ‘I’m not the settling down kind,’ he said. ‘At least with you we’d both know it was just a pretence.’
I blame it on the pomegranate martinis, but it was starting to make a weird kind of sense.
‘No one would believe that I was really your girlfriend,’ I said. ‘You’re used to going out with actresses and models.’
‘Which is why they’ll think I’m serious if they see me with you.’
My, this was doing wonders for my ego.
‘It would only be for a few weeks,’ Phin was saying. ‘You wouldn’t have to do much. Just be seen out at a few parties with me and hang around looking like a girlfriend for the interview. Then we can seem to break it off later, so I can carry on avoiding commitment while you walk off into the sunset with Jonathan.’
‘Do you really think it would make a difference with Jonathan?’ I asked wistfully.
‘Listen, do you really want him back or not?’
‘I really do.’
‘Even though he’s made you feel boring and unlovable?’
‘I love him,’ I said, dangerously close to getting weepy again.
‘OK,’ said Phin, ‘if Jonathan is what you really want, then I think you deserve what you want. The first thing is to make him realise that you’re not boring at all, that you’re quite capable of being spontaneous when you’ve got the right incentive. Make him think that it’s his fault you never had much fun with him—which it probably is, by the way. We’re going to convince him that we’re having a raging affair, and he’s sure to sit up and take notice.’
‘How do we go about having an affair?’ I said doubtfully. I couldn’t see myself being convincing as someone in the throes of a raging affair somehow. It wasn’t the kind of thing I would do. It wasn’t the kind of thing I liked, to be honest. It smacked too much of losing control and abandoning yourself. I liked things calm and steady and safe.
‘Well, let’s see,’ said Phin with a grin. ‘I could take you back to my place. We’ll say it’s just for a drink, but we won’t be able to keep our hands off each other. The moment we’re through the front door I’ll start kissing you, and you’ll kiss me back. You’ll fall back against the door and pull me with you—’
‘I don’t mean really have an affair,’ I interrupted, scarlet. I was horrified at how vividly I could imagine it, and there was a strange thumping deep inside me. Jonathan had never lost control like that. I was beginning to feel very odd, but I hoped very much that was down to the martinis. ‘I meant … how would we make everyone believe it? We can hardly send round an e-mail announcement that we’re sleeping together.’
Phin didn’t seem to think that would be a problem. ‘We’ll go to a couple of parties, maybe leave work together—or even better arrive together—and word will get round in no time. If you can contrive to blush whenever my name is mentioned in the Ladies’, or wherever you girls all congregate, so much the better. And remember how besotted I’m going to be with you,’ he went on. ‘I won’t be able to keep my hands off you—especially when Jonathan is around. I don’t think it will take long before he gets the point.’
I buried my nose in my martini, trying not to wonder what it would be like to have Phin putting his arm around me, sliding his hand down my back. Would he twine his fingers around mine? Would he stroke my hair?
Would he kiss me?
The breath rushed out of my lungs at the thought. Would he? And if he did what would it be like?
My heart was thudding painfully—ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom—and I had to moisten my lips before I could speak. This was about Jonathan, remember?
‘But if Jonathan thinks I’m with you, he’ll assume I’m not interested in him any more,’ I objected.
‘Once he starts paying attention—and he will—you’ll have to let him know that you just might be tempted away