‘Stop it,’ I said, slapping his hand away. I straightened the stapler once more. ‘Haven’t you got some other trip to go on? I’m sure they must need you in Ulan Bator or Timbuktu or somewhere.’
‘Nope. Next time you’re coming with me.’ He had started on the scissors now, snapping them at me as he talked. ‘So, what’s the news here?’
‘We’ve set up your Glitz interview for Thursday,’ I told him. ‘The interviewer is called Imelda Ross, and she’s bringing a photographer with her. They’ll be at your house at ten, so can you please make sure you’re ready for them?’
‘That’s an appointment, not news,’ he said. ‘What’s the gossip? Has Lex run off with a lap dancer? Has Kevin been caught siphoning funds to some offshore bank account?’ Kevin was our Chief Financial Officer and famously prudent.
‘Nothing so exciting, I’m afraid. Everyone’s been doing what they always do.’
Actually, that wasn’t quite true. Jonathan was looking much more relaxed these days. I had shared a lift with him a few days earlier, and instead of being stiff and awkward he had smiled and chatted about the spell of fine weather.
I’d replayed the conversation endlessly, of course, and was hugging the hope that he might be warming to me again. Between that and Phin’s pastries I’d been happier than I’d been for ages—but I didn’t think that would be of much interest to Phin, even if I had been prepared to confess it, which I wasn’t.
‘According to the gossip mags, Jewel Stevens has got a new man,’ I offered instead.
‘Has she? Excellent! I was hoping she’d lost interest.’
‘She rang looking for you a couple of times, but I didn’t think you’d want to speak to her in Peru, so I said you were out of contact.’
‘Summer, you’re a treasure,’ he told me, putting down the scissors at last and digging around at his feet. ‘So, even though you haven’t missed me, you deserve a reward,’ he said as he produced a paper bag. ‘I’ve brought us something special to celebrate my return.’
The ‘something special’ turned out to be a cream doughnut each. ‘I didn’t feel we knew each other well enough to tackle one of these before,’ he said as I eyed it dubiously, wondering how on earth I was going to eat it elegantly.
‘I defy you to eat one of these without making a mess,’ Phin added, reading my expression without any difficulty.
I couldn’t, of course. I started off taking tiny nibbles, until he couldn’t bear it any more.
‘Get on with it, woman,’ he ordered. ‘Stop messing around at the edges. Take a good bite and enjoy it! That’s not a bad recipe for life, now I come to think of it,’ he said, watching as I sank my teeth obediently into the middle of the doughnut and cream spurted everywhere. ‘The doughnut approach to living well. I might write a book about it.’
‘Make sure you include a section on how to clean up all the mess,’ I said, dabbing at my mouth with my fingers, torn between embarrassment and laughter. I spotted a blob of cream on my skirt. ‘Ugh, I’ve got cream everywhere!’
‘The best things in life are messy,’ said Phin.
‘Not as far as I’m concerned,’ I said, as I carefully wiped the cream from my skirt. ‘But maybe I’ll make an exception for cream doughnuts. It was delicious!’
With a final lick of my fingers, I got to my feet. ‘I’d better get back to work,’ I said.
Phin got up, too. His smile had faded as he watched me eat the doughnut, and his expression was oddly unreadable for once. He was looking at me so intently that I hesitated.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘You’ve missed a bit,’ he said and, reaching out, he wiped a smear of cream from my cheek, just near my mouth. Then he offered me his finger to lick.
I stared at it, mesmerised by the vividness with which I could imagine my tongue against his finger. I could practically taste the sweetness of the cream, feel the contrast between its smoothness and the firmness of his skin, and a wave of heat pulsed up from my toes to my cheeks and simmered in my brain. For one awful moment I was afraid that the top of my head would actually blow off.
Horrified by how intimate the mere idea seemed, and about Phin—my boss!—of all people, I found myself taking a step back and shaking my head at the temptation.
Phin’s eyes never left my mouth as he licked the cream off himself.
‘Yum, yum,’ he said softly.
I know, it doesn’t sound very erotic, but my heart was thudding so loudly I was sure he must hear it. My pulse roared in my ears and I had a terrible feeling that I might literally be steaming. I had to get out of the room before Phin noticed.
I cleared my throat with an effort. ‘I … er … I should let you get on. Haven’t you got a meeting now?’
‘I have?’
‘Yes, in HR. You wanted me to set it up for you, to talk to Jane about staff development and the Cameroon trip. It’s in the diary.’ I could feel myself babbling as I backed away towards the door. ‘I’ll forward the e-mail to you …’
Somehow I made it back to my desk, and had to spend a few minutes just breathing very carefully.
I felt very odd, almost shaken. I had never thought about Phin that way before. I had never thought about Jonathan like that either, to be honest. I loved Jonathan, but he was safe. This wild pounding of my blood felt dark and rude and dangerous, and I didn’t like it.
I pulled myself together at last. A momentary aberration, I told myself. A huge fuss about nothing. I mean, we hadn’t even touched. A flick of Phin’s finger against my cheek. That was all that had happened. Nothing at all, in fact.
I was just … hot. Was this what a hot flush was like? I wondered wildly. If so, I wasn’t looking forward to the menopause at all.
Jittery and unsettled, I took myself off to the Ladies’ to run cold water over my wrists. Someone had once told me that was the best way to cool yourself down, and I had no intention of splashing cold water all over my make-up. I wasn’t in that much of a state.
I met Lex’s PA, Monique, on her way in at the same time. Typical, isn’t it, that the moment you’re desperate to be alone people you don’t normally see for ages start popping out of the woodwork? This wasn’t even Monique’s floor.
I was afraid that she would comment on how hot and flustered I looked, but fortunately she didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. Reassured, I stopped to chat.
See, I told myself, all I needed was a little normality. It was a relief to talk about ordinary stuff, and I began to feel myself again.
‘So what’s the gossip?’ I asked Monique, remembering Phin’s question earlier. Monique was famously discreet, but if she did have any news it would be good to be able to pass a titbit on to Phin. At least it would be something to say other than Could we try that cream on the finger thing again?
‘Funny you should say that.’ Monique glanced around and lowered her voice, even though there was no one else in there with us. ‘Have you seen Jonathan recently?’
Phin and the cream were instantly forgotten. ‘A couple of times,’ I said, as casually as I could. My poor old heart was working overtime this morning. Now it was pattering away at the mention of Jonathan. ‘Why?’
‘He’s a changed man, isn’t he?’
I thought of how relaxed he had looked the last time I’d seen him. ‘He seems to be in a good mood.’
‘Yes, and we all know why now!’
‘We do?’