“Pa said you didn’t know the baby wasn’t Conner’s. I’m guessing it surprised you to learn the truth.”
Kate nodded, her resolve returning. “It restores my belief that he is an honorable man, but apart from that, it changes very little for me. This is something he and your family have to sort out.” Her job here was about done. And none too soon. Several times she’d found herself forgetting her goal, attracted to a man in a way she could not allow.
They finished cleaning the kitchen. “Now that you’re home, I will show you how to feed Ellie.”
Looking apprehensive and eager at the same time, Annie accompanied her to the sitting room. Kate explained her plan to Conner. “The baby is going to need lots of care. Until you find Ellie’s mother, you’re going to need help. I’ll show Annie and your grandfather how to feed her.” Though the baby would soon need nothing more than someone to prepare a bottle for her.
Annie settled into a chair and Kate put the baby in her arms, noting that Annie seemed at ease with holding Ellie. No doubt she had held lots of babies, including her niece Mattie. “Okay, little Ellie, it’s time to eat. Show your auntie Annie what you can do.” Except Annie wasn’t her auntie. Kate needed to readjust her thinking.
Ellie looked at Annie, then found Kate. Her expression brightened with recognition and she started to drink the milk. Pleasure at knowing the baby sought her was laced with resolve to walk away from the situation. She had come as a medical person to help. Success meant she would no longer be needed.
Kate watched, satisfied the baby was doing well. “Excellent job. Now let’s give Grandfather a turn.” Kate placed the baby in the old man’s arms. “Sweetie, everyone calls this man Grandfather.”
Grandfather sighed. “It’s been far too long since I’ve had the pleasure of holding a little one.”
Kate bent over the baby. “Did you hear that? He likes you.”
But it was Kate the baby looked at as she sucked her milk. And it was Kate’s arms that ached to hold her close. She glanced toward Conner. He was watching her and smiled...a gentle, sad sort of smile as if he regretted the way she’d learned the truth. Or perhaps he’d guessed at her confused feelings. She tried to look away, to convince herself she handled this situation very well, but she couldn’t. Not any more than she could stop the sting of tears that she blinked away.
The smile in Conner’s eyes deepened as if he understood. How could he? He was surrounded by his family, all ready and willing to support him in caring for Ellie, while Kate would return home with empty arms.
And an empty heart?
No. Her thinking was clouded. She was returning to resume her own plans.
She forced her mind back to her rightful role.
“She’s stopped eating,” Grandfather said, and Kate turned back to Ellie. She checked the bottle.
“A good feeding. Excellent.” She was no longer needed here. She took the baby. There was no reason she couldn’t put the baby in her basket or give her to Conner, who watched her closely. But she wanted to hold her as long as she could.
The baby didn’t sleep but watched Kate with wide, deep brown eyes.
Ellie rumbled her lips. Her eyes widened. She did it again.
Kate laughed and shifted closer to Conner. “Look at this. Do it again, Ellie.”
Ellie looked at Conner, rumbled her lips and gave Conner a look that seemed to say, “Your turn.”
“I think she wants to play.” Conner rumbled his lips and waited. Ellie did it again. Back and forth they went until Kate started laughing.
They played with the baby until it was time to feed her again and then she slept. Kate put her in her basket. She smiled down at the sleeping baby, then turned to Conner.
Kate had promised herself she would leave the baby for the Marshalls to tend, but here she was, alone with Conner, sharing the care of Ellie and enjoying every minute of it.
She hurried into the kitchen, where Annie was busy cooking. “Can I help?”
“You could prepare the vegetables in the basin for dinner. I’m running late. It seems I always have more work than time.” She sighed. “But I suppose that’s what most women say.”
Kate washed the potatoes and carrots in the sink and put them on the stove to cook, watching them until they boiled.
Together, they prepared a meal.
“It’s nice having another woman in the kitchen with me,” Annie said.
“You’re very efficient.”
“I’ve had lots of practice.”
“I know.” She wondered if Annie ever wished she wasn’t responsible for her father, grandfather and brothers. Though only one brother remained at home. Perhaps soon Conner would establish his own home with Thelma and Ellie.
No matter what Conner’s future held, it would not include Kate.
Pain grabbed at her chest and she paused, her hands curled into fists, waiting for it to pass.
Grandfather and Bud came in from outside.
“Dinner will be ready shortly,” Annie said, and the men sat down to look at the newspaper they had gotten in town.
With a guilty start, Kate realized how long she’d been absent from the sitting room and hurried back to check on Ellie and Conner.
Conner held the baby. “I was about to call and see if she should eat again.”
“I’ll prepare a feed immediately.” She returned to the kitchen to do so.
She came back and handed him the bottle. “You and your family will soon be able to take care of her without my help.”
He got Ellie eating, then turned back to her. “You’re anxious to leave?”
It should have been easy to agree with him, but she could not be untruthful. “Leaving her is going to be difficult.”
Their gazes caught and held. The air seemed awash with liquid sunshine. A jolt of something both sweet and sad rushed through her. How had she allowed this to happen? To be drawn to a man and child when she knew they could never be hers. Even if Conner was free, Kate had plans that made it impossible to picture herself in their lives. And yet she did. In full, vibrant color, every detail bright with joy.
She ripped her attention from Conner. Remembered he’d asked a question. “My father needs my help.” And when he didn’t, she would head back east for medical school. That was her plan. Her purpose. Her calling.
Ellie ate well for Conner. Kate didn’t need to hover nearby and yet she did. Conner’s attention was on the baby, allowing Kate to study the pair. Conner’s face revealed love for Ellie. She shivered, thinking of what the future might hold for this pair. Please, God, protect them from pain and sorrow.
He put the baby in her basket to sleep, then he and Kate joined the others in the kitchen. Kate remained in the kitchen after the meal and helped Annie with the dishes and swept the floor for her, finding, as always, a comfort in doing routine things.
“I’m going outside for a bit,” Annie said. “Do you want to come with me?”
“I’d like that.” It would give her time to get her thoughts back to normal. “Let me tell Conner.” She hurried to the sitting room. Ellie slept in Conner’s arms. He looked up at Kate’s approach and smiled.
“Look at her sleeping so peacefully.”
She faltered, took a deep breath. That look of tenderness in his eyes was meant for Ellie, but for a heartbeat, she’d thought it included her. She folded her hands at her waist. “I’m going