“I will do everything in my power to see this little one grow strong.”
He had made the same vow and felt as if he and Kate stepped across some invisible threshold, united in heart and purpose.
He was not alone in fighting for this baby and found immense comfort in the thought. He couldn’t think of the little one not getting better. Even though she wasn’t his, his heart had laid claim to her.
Kate hummed as she tried to feed the baby, but Ellie pressed her lips together and turned away.
“Give her to me,” Conner said. His voice was rough, but he couldn’t help it. Ellie needed to drink. When Kate shifted the baby into his arms, he cradled the little bundle to his chest.
“It’s like she has almost given up trying.” Her eyes filled with regret. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“You haven’t told me anything I can’t see on my own. Have you seen this before?” He meant, did people give up the desire to live?
“Only in discouraged and ill adults.” Her voice broke and she turned away. With a choked sound, she hurried to the window to stare out. Her shoulders heaved.
Was she crying? Fighting her fears? He couldn’t say, but he wanted to ease her obvious strain. “Come here.” He kept his voice soft even though his insides felt as if they’d been sliced with a thousand dull blades.
She didn’t move. “Give me a moment.” She sucked in air.
He waited.
Slowly she turned. Her face a careful mask as if she had pushed all her feelings behind a wall. She crossed to the couch.
“Sit down.” He indicated the chair at his side and she sat. “Give me your hand.”
She hesitated, then put her hand in his.
He brought it to the baby and placed it over the tiny chest and covered her hand with his. “Feel that?”
“It’s her heart beating.”
“Yes. You said the outcome is in God’s hands.”
She nodded.
“Then we will pray for His healing.” He bowed his head and prayed. “God, You love Ellie. You have a plan and a purpose for her life. She’s so young. So needy. We’re doing all we can to help her. But only You can heal her. We humbly ask that You would see fit to touch her little body and make her strong.” He paused, wanting so much more, answers to questions about Thelma, a caring home, loving parents for the baby, but he could say none of those aloud. He simply had to trust God for all of it. “Amen.”
“Amen,” Kate echoed.
Conner expected she would pull away, but she stayed as they were, their heads almost touching, their hands on Ellie’s chest feeling her heart beat and the rise and fall of her breathing. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For reminding me that it’s in God’s hands, not mine.”
The afternoon became a continual round of waking, feeding and hovering over the baby. But each time the baby took a little more.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” He was ready to rejoice.
“Yes, it’s very good. Maybe she’ll take some milk now.” She hurried to the kitchen to prepare it.
Conner leaned back, shifting the baby so they were face-to-face. Ellie’s eyes met his. “Who are you, little one? Why are you here? Where’s your mother? I need to find her, don’t I? Did she forget to take care of you? Is that why you’re so weak? Or have you been sick?” So many questions. “And you aren’t giving me any of the answers, are you?”
The sound of approaching footsteps warned him of Kate’s return and he stopped questioning the baby and chuckled at the silliness of doing so.
Ellie’s eyes widened at his laugh.
Kate pressed to his side so she could feed the baby. She eased the rubber nipple into the tiny mouth. Ellie gagged but then closed her mouth about the contraption and sucked. Her eyes widened as she tasted the milk. She drank eagerly for a moment or two.
Kate leaned over them both and Conner was so full of gratitude over the improvement that he wrapped his arm about her shoulders and drew her against his chest, next to the baby. His heart felt ready to burst.
She stiffened and pulled away, sat upright in the chair by the couch, folded her hands in her lap and studied him with a solemn expression.
“Forgive me. I was rejoicing over her improvement.”
Kate nodded. “Of course.”
He reached for her hands and clasped them to his chest. “We’re doing all we can, aren’t we?”
She curled her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. “I believe so.”
He understood then that the baby was still not out of the woods.
She should not have revealed her worry about the baby. A doctor or nurse did not frighten family members with either words or expressions, but she could not put a serene mask over her features. All she could do was cling to the fact Ellie was improving.
Conner lifted one hand and cupped her shoulder. “Kate, you’re doing a good job if Ellie’s present condition means anything.”
Ellie opened her eyes and found Kate’s face.
“See, even the baby knows it. She likes you. She knows you’re helping her.”
Kate smiled at the baby and stroked a finger along the tiny cheek. “She is certainly a sweetie. So beautiful.” A fierce protectiveness crowded all else from her mind. “Ellie, you are going to eat and fight and get strong. You hear me?”
The baby considered her solemnly, then smiled. The smile disappeared so quickly Kate wondered if she’d imagined it. “Did you see that? She smiled.”
Conner chuckled. “I told you, she likes you.”
“We’re going to do this.” She looked deep into Conner’s eyes. “We are going to save this baby, so help me God.” She meant it as a prayer and a vow, and when Conner nodded, she felt as if they had joined hands in mutual agreement.
There welled up within her a sense of something sweet and powerful. She tried to tell herself it was the same sensation she got whenever she helped her father, saw a baby or a child or an adult improving and knowing she had a hand in it. Only, the feeling was unlike any she’d ever before experienced and she could not dismiss it so easily nor fit it into a tidy slot in her brain.
She knew of one sure way to bring her thoughts into order and she concentrated on feeding Ellie. When she was satisfied the baby had taken all she would, she hurried to the kitchen...in need of an escape from the intensity prevailing in her thoughts while sitting so close to Conner, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, hearing his deep voice murmur to the baby. And knowing all the while that Thelma belonged where Kate now sat.
She found food in the pantry that Annie had prepared earlier and served them a simple dinner. She wished she had time to do more. Cooking and baking were pleasures for her. And wonderful diversions. Grandfather joined them to eat.
They all retired to the sitting room again. She needed to get back to her father. As she had done all morning, she prayed he would be handling things well on his own.
She