She was relieved to see that her comment actually seemed to shake him a bit.
She stood up, planted a kiss on his cheek, then walked out of the office. “Lock up when you leave,” she called back over her shoulder, not bothering to wait for him.
The man had a lot of thinking to do, and they both knew he’d do it best without her hovering over him.
She’d hover tomorrow. Or the next day. And probably for days after that.
Mack was too restless to sit around in his apartment. Over the past few years he’d gotten used to spending his evenings with Susie. Now that the truth was out and she understood his situation, there was no reason for that habit not to resume.
Okay, there was one reason. Things were obviously changing between them, and the timing for that still sucked, but he couldn’t seem to keep himself from walking over to her apartment around dinnertime. He needed a booster shot of her eternal optimism.
When she opened her door, he shoved his hands into his pockets and inquired casually, “Have you eaten yet?”
Her expression brightened. “You’ve seen my refrigerator. What do you think?”
Relief spread through him. Things weren’t going to be awkward between them, after all. Thank goodness for that. “Italian? Chinese? French?”
“Pizza?” she asked hopefully.
He shook his head. “Between you, Will and Jake, that’s my primary food group these days.”
“Are you complaining?”
“Not really, but I’d wanted to take you someplace a little fancier. How about Brady’s instead?”
She shook her head at once. “No way.”
He studied her with a narrowed gaze. “You don’t need to be worrying about the expense, Susie. I’m not destitute yet.”
“It’s not that,” she insisted. “We never go to Brady’s, except to the bar from time to time. It’s one of those places that people reserve for special occasions.”
“Maybe tonight’s a special occasion,” he said, suddenly determined to go to Brady’s for reasons that had more to do with pride than any real desire for an excellent crabcake.
“What are we celebrating?” she asked, looking suspicious. “You haven’t found some new job in Alaska or someplace else halfway across the world, have you? Are you going to stuff me with crabmeat and fine wine, then break the bad news to me?”
“Hardly. I thought we could celebrate getting past what happened.”
“If we start celebrating every time we move on after a disagreement, you’ll go broke.”
“A risk I’m willing to take. Now, are you really going to argue with me about going to the best restaurant in town?”
She held his gaze, then finally shook her head. “Not if it means so much to you.”
“Thank you,” he said solemnly. “That was easier than I’d expected.”
“Are you implying that I’m difficult?” she demanded, immediately irritated all over again.
He grinned. “You are,” he said without hesitation. “But it keeps things interesting. I’ve always been fond of a challenge.”
“I should think you have enough challenges on your plate right now without deliberately turning me into one.”
“I’m not responsible for your being a challenge. You just are.”
“Then I’m surprised you want to have dinner with me at all,” she said testily.
Mack laughed. “Come on, Susie. Let’s go before you work yourself up into a bad case of indigestion without having the first bite of food.”
She frowned but went with him. “I have no idea why I bother with you,” she muttered as she walked down the steps to the alley where his car was parked.
“Because I’m charming and sexy,” he suggested.
“No, those are the reasons I should steer clear of you,” she countered.
“Then it must be because I make you laugh.”
She smiled. “I’m sure that’s it.”
As he started the car, he glanced over at her. “Want to know why I bother with you?”
She looked flustered by the question. “I’m not entirely sure I do.”
“You need to hear this,” he said, suddenly solemn. “Because you ground me, you fascinate me and you make me feel like a whole person, someone worth loving.”
When she met his gaze, there were tears in her eyes.
“Oh, Mack, of course you’re worth loving,” she said softly. “You’re surrounded by friends who prove that, not just me. You have to let go of the past. Your father—who-ever he was—was obviously a worthless jerk, and your mother did the best she could. You’re worth a hundred of either one of them. When are you going to believe that?”
“I do sometimes,” he said, then added, “When I’m with you.”
And that’s why, no matter how this job mess worked itself out, he couldn’t let himself lose her. No matter what it took.
That one sweet moment in the car when Mack had admitted how she made him feel sustained Susie for the next week. She’d sensed that there was more he wanted to say. A lot more. But as always, he’d quickly made a joke that had altered the mood at once. And he’d keep things light all through dinner at Brady’s, casting a warning look in her direction any time she tried to turn the conversation to anything serious, or even remotely personal. She’d gone along with it, knowing he needed laughter right now more than he needed advice or even consolation.
Oddly, she’d concluded that evening feeling more hopeful about the two of them than she had for a long time. Not even Mack’s absence over the past few days had thrown her. He’d called regularly to let her know he was okay, but the brief conversations hadn’t been terribly revealing about how he was spending his time or what he was thinking about his future. She’d told herself to accept his need to work through things on his own. It was a struggle, but she was mostly succeeding.
In an odd way, it helped that she hadn’t been feeling all that great. In fact, today she’d actually gone home from the office, suffering from the worst cramps she’d ever had. She crawled into bed with a heating pad and slept most of the day away. She’d always had terrible periods, so she knew the drill.
When she woke up in the morning and the pain had gotten worse, she felt a momentary glimmer of concern. Something about this time felt different, but maybe she was just on edge about everything these days. At least, that’s what she told herself when she called her father and told him she was taking another sick day.
An hour later, there was a brisk knock on her door. Then a key turned in the lock before she could even think of stirring from bed, and her mother came in.
Susie immediately sat up. “Mom, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at school.”
“Your father called me. What’s going on?”
“Cramps. You know. It’s no big deal. Nothing to bring you racing over here.”
“Have you seen your doctor recently?” Jo inquired, worry creasing her brow.
“There’s no need. I had my annual checkup a few months ago. Everything’s fine.”
“How often have you had pain this