“I guess Happy must a rode the whole blame saddle-bunch home, this time,” Cal remarked, with stinging sarcasm.
“Ah, yuh can go and see fer yourselves; yuh don’t need t’ take my word fer nothing” cried Happy Jack, much grieved that they should doubt him. “I hain’t had but one drink t’day—and that wasn’t nothin’ but beer. It’s straight goods: Weary’s as full as he can git and top a horse. He’s sure enjoyin’ himself, too. Dry Lake is all hisn—and the way he’s misusin’ the rights uh ownership is plumb scand’l’us. He makes me think of a cow on the fight in a forty-foot corral; nobody dast show their noses outside; Dry Lake’s holed up in their sullers, till he quits camp.
“I seen him cut down on the hotel China-cook jest for tryin’ t’ make a sneak out t’ the ice-house after some meat fer dinner. He like t’ got him, too. Chink dodged behind the board-pile in the back yard, an’ laid down. He was still there when I left town, and the chances is somebody else’ll have t’ cook dinner t’day. Weary was so busy close-herdin’ the Chinaman that I got a chanst t’ sneak out the back door uh Rusty’s place, climb on m’ horse and take a shoot up around by the stockyards and pull fer camp. I couldn’t git t’ the store, so I didn’t bring out no mail.”
The Happy Family drew a long breath. This was getting beyond a joke.
“Looks t’ me like you fellows’d come alive and do something about it,” hinted Happy, with his mouth full. “Weary’ll shoot somebody, er git shot, if he ain’t took care of mighty quick.”
“Happy,” said Chip bluntly, “I don’t grab that yarn. Weary may be in town, and he may be having a little fun with Dry Lake, but he isn’t drunk. When you try to run a whizzer like that, you can put me down as being from Missouri.”
“Same here,” put in Pink, ominously soft as to voice. “Anybody that tries to make me believe Weary’s performing that way has sure got his work cut out for him. If it was Happy, now—”
“Gee!” cried Jack Bates, laughing as a possible solution came to him. “I’m willing to bet money he was just stringing Happy. I’ll bet he done it deliberate and with malice aforethought, just to make Happy sneak out uh town and burn the earth getting here so he could tell it scarey to the rest of us.”
“Yeah, that’s about the size of it,” assented Cal.
The Family felt that they had a new one on Happy Jack, and showed it in the smiles they sent toward him.
“By golly, yes!” broke out Slim. “Weary’s been layin’ for Happy for a long while to pay off making the tent leak on him, that night; he’s sure played a good one, this time!”
Happy carefully balanced his plate on the wagon-tongue near the doubletrees, and stood glaring down upon his tormentors.
“Aw, look here!” he began, with his voice very near to tears. Then he gulped and took a more warlike tone. “I don’t set m’self up t’ be a know-it-all—but I guess I can tell when a man’s full uh booze. And I ain’t claimin’ t’ be no Jiujitsu sharp” (with a meaning glance at Pink) “and I know the chances I’m takin’ when I stand up agin the bunch—but I’m ready, here and now, t’ fight any damn man that says I’m a liar, er that Weary was jest throwin’ a load into me. Two or three uh yuh have licked me mor’n once—but that’s all right. I’m willing t’ back up anything I’ve said, and yuh can wade right in a soon as you’re a mind to.
“I don’t back down a darn inch. Weary’s in Dry Lake. He is drunk. And he is shootin’ up the town. If yuh don’t want t’ believe it, I guess they’s no law t’ make yuh—but if yuh got any sense, and are any friends uh Weary’s, yuh’ll mosey in and fetch him out here if yuh have t’ bring him the way he brung ole Dock that time Patsy took cramps. Go on in and see fer yourselves, darn yuh! But don’t go shootin’ off your faces to me till yuh got a license to.”
This, if unassuring, was convincing. The Happy Family stopped smiling, and looked at one another uncertainly.
“I guess two or three of you better ride in and see what there is to it,” announced Chip, dryly. “If Happy is romancing—” His look was eloquent.
But Happy Jack, though he stood a good deal in awe of Chip and his sarcasm, never flinched. He looked him straight in the eye and maintained the calm of conscious innocence.
“I’ll go,” said Pink, getting up and throwing his plate and cup into the dishpan. “Mind yuh, I don’t believe a word of it; Happy, if this is just a sell, so help me Josephine, you’ll learn some brand new Jiujitsu right away quick.”
“I’ll go along too,” Happy boldly retorted, “so if yuh want anything uh me, after you’ve saw Weary, yuh won’t need t’ wait till yuh strike camp t’ git it. Weary loadin’ me, was he? Yuh’ll find out, all uh yuh, that it’s him that’s loaded.”
They caught fresh horses and started—Cal, Pink, Jack Bates and Happy Jack. And Happy stood their jeers throughout the ten-mile ride with an equanimity that was new to them. For the most part he rode in silence, and grinned knowingly when they laughed too loudly at the joke Weary was playing.
“All right—maybe he is,” he flung back, once. “But he sure looks the part well enough t’ keep all Dry Lake indoors—and I never knowed Weary t’ terrorize a hull town before. And where’d he git that horse? and where’s Glory at? and why ain’t he comin’ on t’ camp t’ help you chumps giggle? Ain’t he had plenty uh time t’ foller me out and enjoy his little joke? And another thing, he was hard at it when I struck town. Now, where’d yuh get off at?”
To this argument they offered several explanations—at all of which Happy grunted in great disdain.
They clattered nonchalantly into Dry Lake, still unconvinced and still jeering at Happy Jack. The town was very quiet, even for Dry Lake. As they rounded the blacksmith shop, from where they could see the whole length of the one street which the place boasted, a yell, shrill, exultant, familiar, greeted them. A long-legged figure they knew well dashed down the street to them, a waving six-shooter in one hand, the reins held aloft in the other. His horse gave evidence of hard usage, and it was a horse none of them had ever seen before.
“It’s him, all right,” Jack Bates admitted reluctantly.
“Yip! Cowboys in town!” rang the slogan of the range land. “Come on and—wake ’em up! OO-oop-ee!” He pulled up so suddenly that his horse almost sat down in the dust, and reined in beside Pink.
They eyed him in amaze, and avoided meeting one another’s eyes. Truly, he was a strange-looking Weary. His head was bare and disheveled, his eyes bloodshot and glaring, his cheeks flushed hotly. His neck-kerchief covered his chest like a bib and he wore no coat; one shirtsleeve was rent from shoulder to cuff, telling eloquently that violent hands had sought to lay hold on him. His long legs, clad in Angora chaps, swung limp to the stirrup. By all these signs and tokens, they knew that he was drunk—joyously, unequivocally, vociferously drunk!
Joe Meeker peered cautiously out of the window of Rusty Brown’s place when they rode up, and Cal Emmett swore aloud at sight of him. Joe Meeker was the most indefatigable male gossip for fifty miles around, and the story of Weary’s spree would spread far and fast. Worse, it would reach first of all the ears of Weary’s School-ma’am, who lived at Meeker’s.
Cal started to get down; he wanted to go in and reason with Joe Meeker.