and maybe that’s a result of that fire of fight inside of you
maybe i didn’t want hot chocolate once
maybe i want hot chocolate a million times with you
maybe i want to try every coffee shop within 25 miles
just to see which one is the best
and then try them all over again because maybe we missed something
maybe i don’t want to sit with you once
maybe i want to sit by your side during every moment
when we watch movies late at night
when you can come out to someone random without even being scared
when we’re at the Tony Awards because your support has gotten me somewhere
when we fall asleep listening to +trying because all the songs make you so happy
that maybe i appreciate more what it does for you than it does for me
maybe you’re wondering why i said maybe this whole poem
because maybe you think i’ll deny it later
maybe i did use it that way
no, i know for a fact that i didn’t
because i thought about it as two separate words
may be
i hope that we may be a force of nature
i hope that we may be sitting together in twenty years
reading our old love poems and holding eachother
i hope that we may be watching rain slide down windows
because i loved the smell of rain more than anything
but somehow now i love the smell of you even more
i hope that we may be that badass old couple who still wants eachother
when everyone else has lost their spark
i hope that we may be the ones whose love is always electric
i hope that we might be in love till
forever
i hope that you may love me forever
because, god, if i could go off on a tangent that lasted until the end of time
it would all just be about how much i love you
about how much i am so in love with you
every. single. moment.
the words
“You are beautiful”
never quite fit right between my braces
until i saw the way you exist
the way you smile with your teeth
the way you are consistently sarcastic with me
the way you can fool me about basically everything
the way your hair is hated by you but genuinely completely adored by me
the way you and love and change and hope and dream
it’s all so goddamn beautiful
you’re so goddamn beautiful
i’m going to keep writing you, Lovie
i’m going to keep writing you until long after you run out of things to say about me
my words are everything i am
but i want to give you everything i have
i would rather you have the whole world than i have a single drop of cold air
my girl is made of poetry
words and metaphors
and vulnerability and strength
and so many oxymorons of existence
you are, i’m convinced, the reason for my existence
and i don’t ever want to let go
transatlanticism
My close friend was forced out of her school because she was gay
And you can’t even say hello to me
My close friend leaves me voicemails using her mother’s phone
And you can’t answer my snapchats
You were the first girlfriend I ever had
But that doesn’t make you the first girl I ever loved
I can only give you so much space
Before we are strangers
Trying to build boats out of nothing
To sail across an ocean of emptiness
With the wind of our sighs
Pushing us towards what once was
honest
I AM TIRED OF LOVING
open letter to closeted queer young girls
ever since i came out as bisexual every other word
to come out of my mouth has been gay
it’s funny what being open about the person that you are can do to you
it’s funny how i can make gay jokes now
and people see that i’m not being offensive
i’m actually in a position where i’m joking about myself
it’s funny how no one had any interest in my dating life
until i said i was bisexual on a stage
don’t you think that’s funny?
september, fourteen years ago
my gayness is being her sneaky self
and hiding behind tall boys with bleached hair
and shorter ones who called me the love of their life
end of 7th grade, june
her pink, purple, and blue flag is found
waving from the top of every flagpole
her gayness was like a truckload of bricks
i took those bricks and shoved them right into my closet
where they lived for two years
april, freshman year
coming out was hard enough
i decided i, a dramatic theatre kid
would come out in a slam poem with the whole school watching
i’ve done plenty of spoken word pieces
since then, people have stood up
and left the room when i’ve started to speak
and yes, i’ve gotten tons of pity claps
because what does a fourteen-year-old
bisexual girl know about this world
because gay is an insult
right?
because our whole community definitely has enough space in the closet
right?
because who cares what people feel, there are only two genders