• Trans, short for transgender, is an umbrella term that covers a range of people not simply those who transition to and then live permanently in the gender that matches their gender identity.
• Trans people may carry wounds of rejection inflicted by family, friends and their faith community.
• They have gifts to offer that may have been denied expression in other Christian settings just because they have come out as trans.
• The trans person may be accompanied by their spouse or family who may also need your support: we’ll be saying more about this in Chapter 4.
• A conditional welcome may seem better than rejection but is still conditional.
• If you are not informed about trans people, the arrival of someone trans in your congregation is an opportunity for the ministers and church community to learn and grow.
• The trans person may be able to help the church community gain a fuller vision of what an inclusive church might look like.
Meet Jason:
Hi, I’m Jason. I’ve always been willing to talk about myself to other Christians, in the hope that they’d gain a better understanding of what it’s like to be trans, though, to be honest, I’m less inclined to explain myself these days. Hormones and top surgery have changed my body and I prefer to get on with life as a man rather than always being the token trans person. I’m not in total stealth [meaning, fully assimilated as one’s gender and not inclined to declare that one has transitioned], and will sometimes ‘out’ myself to discuss my journey, especially with fellow Christians, as some seem to be so prejudiced against us. That’s why I’m happy for Tina and Chris to quote me in their book. I’ve had a Christian upbringing, and my parents are very involved in church life, so I know it inside out and believe I have a calling to ministry. Although I was brought up as a girl, I’ve always been very self-aware: I was the proverbial tomboy and confident that transition was the right step for me. Thankfully my parents have been fully supportive. As a student, my life was pretty full with study and worship, and being trans hasn’t been such a big deal to me as it might be for older trans people. Discernment for ministry became interesting when I was told that trans candidates need to have ‘completed’ transition before they can be recommended for training. In fact, this is not in the Church of England’s official guidance about transgender candidates and turned out to be false. Presumably it was based on the mistaken equation of transition with surgery. I’ve noticed that non-trans people often seem to focus on trans people’s surgeries as if that’s what transition is mainly about.
For example, some Christian friends wondered – and even used to ask me – if I’ve ‘mutilated’ my body. Even though I’d shared my own self-understanding with them, comments like that suggested they hadn’t grasped that my transition was actually about wholeness.
Jason resembles other people quoted in this book. All are prepared to tell their stories so that others can gain insight into their experience. Maybe there’s a ‘Jason’ in your congregation. Someone who transitioned in the past and is happily living out their gender identity. No one else is going to know unless they choose to tell them.
As Jason explained, having a trans history is no longer an issue for him. His loving Christian upbringing gave him the stability to accept himself. Which is just as well, because some Christian friends have tended to say things or ask questions that would probably make them flinch if put to them. Questioning can promote understanding, and no one wants to shut down dialogue, but the language we use – e.g. ‘mutilation’ – could be hurtful for the trans person. Helping one another to be and become the person God has made us should be our aim.
Jason’s stability helped him to come to terms with these kinds of comments, but when he tried to enter the discernment process for ministry it appeared that trans people were perceived as a problem, especially during transition. Guidance grounded in evidence and good practice is the ideal. The requirement that Jason encountered, which was not official policy, appeared to assume that transition was inherently destabilising, rather than increasing the trans person’s wellbeing. The church official concerned appeared to lack insight into trans people’s experience.
Learning points from Jason’s story
• Some people with a transgender history may not want to talk about their past and you may be unaware of it unless they tell you.
• With more information and role models than in the past, younger trans people may find it easier to come out and address their gender identity (though see Debbie’s story below and the section on role models in Chapter 6).
• Even so, not everyone has a stable home and unconditional parental love, so you may need to give support and reassurance.
• Think carefully about the words you will use and ensure that they are sensitively expressed: avoid questions that would make you feel uncomfortable if asked of you.
• Trans people in the Church often encounter institutional barriers. Making the Church inclusive of trans people means working to remove them.
Meet Robin:
My name is Robin and always has been. It’s just the spelling that’s changed. When I was young it was spelt with a ‘y’ – Robyn, and I was brought up as a girl, but I was glad to have a name that, when spoken, could be masculine or feminine, because that’s how, increasingly, I’ve come to understand myself: as both male and female.
The terms I use about myself are genderqueer or non-binary. Being given the name Robyn was very convenient as I’ve only had to change one letter to express who I am today! I prefer the masculine version of the name nowadays but am equally at ease with behaviours our society tends to regard as feminine. I’m happy to bring out childhood photographs in which my hair is long and I’m wearing a floaty dress, even though today my hair is cropped short and I always wear trousers, and at work, a man’s business suit. In meetings it can startle people when I speak. They’re surprised that this masculine looking person has such a high-pitched feminine voice, and I have no plans to change that; or again, when I take my knitting needles from my briefcase and start knitting to aid my concentration during a tricky item on the agenda. Maybe my appearance, voice pitch and intonation and knitting are stereotypical, but these are some of the ways gender is constructed in our society. My experience is that I’m very happy exploring the wide range of options that are open to both men and women. I’d feel limited and constrained were I to have to opt for one rather than the other. Over the years I’ve become far more masculine in my appearance without having to shed certain aspects of my femininity. None of this has been a problem in my church, which is progressive and fully inclusive of trans people, as it is of lesbian, gay and bisexual people. In recent years my ministry has been mainly with asylum seekers in the UK, but I’ve also worked to support trans and gender nonconforming people in other churches which are not as inclusive as the one I belong to.
Here Robin helps us to appreciate that not everyone sees gender as a male or female option. For some trans people transition is about expressing a gender identity that has been at odds with their assigned gender. By contrast, genderqueer or non-binary people like Robin have a sense of themselves as being both masculine and feminine; as neither; or ‘beyond’ a female or male binary in some way. It’s important to note as well that being non-binary is about gender identity and not gender expression. In other words, a non-binary person may well present in a conventionally masculine or feminine way. It’s their internal sense of gender that does not tick the conventional male or female boxes.
More people, especially young people, are finding it easier to identify as non-binary. This is mainly due to increased social acceptance. Non-binary people have always existed. In the past, unless one had social privilege and could defy social conventions, people were more likely to hide the fact that they were non-binary.
Many traditional cultures today envisage