Introducing our interviewees
Anne is a trans woman in later middle age. Her faith background is Anglican. She is a campaigner and advocate for the inclusion of trans people within the Church and is active within many trans organisations and social groups.
Becky is the mother of Angela who is a young trans woman currently studying at university. Becky grew up in a very conservative Nonconformist church and has struggled to find places within her tradition where she and Angela have been welcomed and affirmed. She would still describe herself as more conservative than liberal theologically. She has several other children.
David is a young trans man who grew up within the Quaker tradition and who currently attends an LGBT-friendly Evangelical Church. He came out and transitioned some time ago. His mother Sophie was also part of the group.
Ed is a young man who was in the process of transitioning at the time of interview. He grew up in a churched family where his father was employed by the Church. He is in a relationship with Rachel and they both attend an LGBT-affirming church.
George comes from a Greek family and has an Orthodox Church background. He is currently not attending church regularly.
Jim is a young man who is currently studying at a university where he met his partner Steve. His background is Anglican, and since attending university his faith journey has begun in earnest.
Maria, who transitioned in middle age, converted from Anglicanism to Catholicism earlier in her life and currently attends Mass daily.
Rachel grew up in a conservative church which she has now left. She and Ed met at church before Ed began to transition.
Sophie is the mother of David. She is a Quaker and has another son as well as David.
Steve is studying at the same university as Jim and both are heavily involved in their city centre Anglican congregation.
We could not have written this book in its current form, without the generosity of those who participated in the workshops we held in the spring of 2018 and this book is dedicated to them.
It is also dedicated to the memory of a clergy pioneer of pastoral and spiritual care for trans people, Canon A.R. Millbourn, a Church of England priest, who in the 1940s supported Michael Dillon/Lobzang Jivaka (see his autobiography published in 2017) – a trans man and ship’s doctor – and also wrote the Foreword to the autobiography of trans woman, Roberta Cowell (1954, p.3), which is part dedicated to him. Much is written about trans people being a very recent cultural phenomenon. This is not so, and nor is their care by Christian clergy. There is a fine tradition of Christian ministry to trans people, albeit much of it was relatively hidden in the past. We salute those who have gone before us with gratitude, and hope that this guidebook will assist you and countless others to promote the full inclusion of trans people, not just in your own congregation, but in the whole Church of God.
Chapter 1
Understanding Who
Trans People Are
Introducing some Christian trans people
This book is not about ‘an issue’; it’s about people. To address the subject of this chapter – understanding who trans people are – we will consider some technical terms and the multi-disciplinary consensus about the care of trans and gender nonconforming people. It’s vital to remember that the word ‘trans’ or ‘transgender’ is an adjective and has to be completed by a noun – ‘people’ or ‘person’, ‘woman’ or ‘man’.
In social interactions, and especially in a pastoral book such as this, the focus should always be on people and their humanity. So, we want to begin by introducing you to some people, Abi, Jason, Robin, and Debbie (not their real names). They, or people like them, could be future members of your church, or might already be there in your congregation.
Meet Abi:
I’m Abi and I’ve been an Evangelical Christian since my late teens, so it took many years to realise that Deuteronomy 22.5 was not directed at trans people at all. My school, of which I’m proud to be an old boy/girl, was Evangelical in ethos. As an adult and a middle-class professional, I am also somewhere in the middle as far as my gender identity is concerned. Part of my life is lived as male, and part as female; I describe myself as bigender. That can be difficult for the people around me to accept, but it isn’t difficult for me. I had to hide the female ‘me’ for far too long, but now I am free to live comfortably in both gender roles.
Being someone who has no desire to transition to female comes with its own problems. People sometimes say to me, ‘We find your situation very confusing, but if you were to transition, it would be much easier to accept you.’
When I did ‘come out’ to my church the reaction from the vicar and many in the congregation was very condemning and they wrote letters to me and my wife to show the strength of their feelings. I’d had a leadership role in the church as a PCC (Parochial Church Council) member, singer/songwriter and worship leader, but all that came to an end following my disclosure. My wife and I had no alternative but to leave the church. It was the place where we had met, married, and served God for several decades. Our bishop was very helpful and pointed us to a more welcoming church. After we moved, we settled in well, but the vicar at that time was fairly cautious about the situation and I was not convinced that the warm welcome we had received extended to being able to attend services as Abi. People told me that they would find that very difficult. However, we now have a new vicar who is keen that Abi should be able to come to church, so I have started to do that on an occasional basis, with a variety of reactions. It’s a work in progress, and the vicar shares our vision for a church inclusive of all diversities, not just trans people. And now this has developed into being able to use my music to lead worship in church as Abi – another step along the journey to full acceptance.
It’s great that you’ve met Abi. She’s inspirational: a gifted singer and musician, whose song is one of biblical inclusion. Listening to her we can see that relating to someone who is trans might involve relating to a spouse or loved one as well. This is something that came through very strongly in the workshops we held in preparing this book. Abi’s story also illustrates something we’ve seen already: how important the clergy person or minister can be in determining whether the trans person will be rejected by, merely tolerated by or fully included in their church. David, one of our workshop participants, suggested some questions that they would like to ask a minister before joining their church:
Do you tolerate me, or do you want something...are you interested?
Is this something you’ve thought about before?
Is it something you’re interested in thinking about?
Similarly, Becky, the parent of a trans daughter, explains:
I don’t want Angela to be tolerated in a church. I want her to be warmly welcomed and to become part of a family.
The rejection Abi and her wife experienced became a wound that proved difficult to heal. Their bishop behaved as a chief shepherd and guardian by directing them to a church where they were made more welcome. Even this was conditional though as only her male persona was welcome at church. Abi apparently had no place in the ‘holy space’ of church. This experience led her to think about other people who were being marginalised by the church community. She was able to share her vision for inclusion when a new vicar was appointed. This priest was also passionate about justice and acceptance and spent time engaging with Abi. It has made a huge difference in terms of Abi’s sense of belonging to that church and she soon started to attend church services and events. More recently, Abi has been invited to lead the music in worship. She has even written her own song about inclusion. People who hear it are struck