"Can't you tell me why me taking that book would have made her unhappy? "the prince again ventured.
"Very well. Sit down for a moment next to me and I'll try to explain it to you. That book was different from the others, because your mother wrote her thoughts, her joys and her unhappiness, her desires, and her regrets in the book. In short, she poured her soul, entrusting it to some poetry and to many long pages of confessions. Do you understand what I mean?”
"I know what a confession is, but my mother isn't bad and doesn't need it.”
“ No, not in the sense that you think; I wanted to say that she wrote the things that buried in her soul and her heart without lies, without fear that someone (maybe me) could read them and maybe scold her. You stole her secrets.”
" But I didn't know ... " the prince stammered.
" Of course; but now I know, and your mother and I have discussed this a lot yesterday evening. I was rude to her because I should not have succumbed to the temptation to read those pages and because I could not hold back my anger .... I made her cry" the king concluded, without having the courage to look at his son, suddenly ashamed before the naivety and sincerity of the child.
" I'm sorry, father. We will try to fix it. We will take care of it.”
" I hope so. I should have come back to her early this morning or stay with her tonight and let her know I was a fool to get carried away by my exaggerated jealousy, but I didn't and now ...”
He didn't add that he really wanted the prince to pay for everyone, because it would have been too much for his pride, but he knew that was what made him feel terribly guilty at that moment.
" Father, you will bring her a rose and you will make her smile. Wait.”
The child ran back, rushing into the garden. He broke a rose sprig, one of the last of the season.
He handed it to his father.
" Give her this. She loves them so much.”
" I'd rather you took it to her. I don't know if I'll go with you.”
" Why not? You don’t want her to be sad like this.”
His son's eyes were full of great wonder that made him smile.
" Okay, okay, you won. Let's go together. Give me that flower.”
Feeling ridiculous, but unable to withdraw under the decisive gaze of the prince, the king approached his queen as an ancient knight who pays homage to the lady with his courtly love and honor, with a rose in his hand and his son at his side.
" Good morning mother “ exclaimed the latter, running towards her to kiss her.
" Good morning, my boy. Was Antonia not able to reach you this morning to get dressed? You look a little messy, " she observed, smiling tenderly at him.
" I got out of the bed like lightning. I was late for my animals. But my father helped me a little.”
The queen looked at her master in surprise and waited for him to say something to relieve her nightly sufferings. Probably, however, he would have not said anything, and she would have had to hide her disappointment at the bottom of her heart, like so many others in the past.
"Your son “ the king said instead " says these roses are your favorites" and clumsily handed her the flower.
" It's true.”
" I'm sorry for the words I spoke last night. Sometimes not even a king can keep his impulses in check.”
" Mother " the child intervened " really the fault was mine alone, because I secretly took what I was not supposed to take, as I was extremely curious.”
His mother held him close to silence him and saw that the king had a strange look as he watched them.
It had been a long time since his eyes had been glimmering in excitement, a long time since he had had words like that, kind words, yet not conventional.
" Don't apologize, my darling” she answered her son, her eyes searching for the king " nothing can make me happier than having you close to me. Now " she added " go spruce yourself up before going down to breakfast with me. Perhaps your father will join us for once.”
The king nodded.
When his son left, he approached the queen and grabbed her hand: "I'm really sorry," he repeated, "I hope you didn't feel too lonely tonight."
" I was, but no more.”
" But not forgotten, right?”
" How could I? Do you truly believe that entrusting my torments or my expectations to paper will make me forget everything?”
" No, you're right. But you know the way I am, you've always known it and ...”
" I accepted this way of life. I have your child and I should not wish for anything else. I don't know if that's what you expect from me, but in reality, that's not what I feel.”
" What else would you like?”
" It's not up to me to teach my king.”
" I know, but I can't be different. I'm already surprised at myself for how I let myself be conquered by our son. Maybe someday…”.
" Perhaps " granted the queen " I can wait.”
The king was silent for a long time, then asked: "Is there anything else I don't know?"
" Do you think you have the right to know all the secrets of my soul?”
" Yes " he replied forcefully " There must be no mysteries for the king.”
" Good: if the king wants to know them, he should try to discover them on his own.”
" Are you challenging me? Be careful.”
" You are the master of my life, but not of my mind.”
"I could force you," the king began abruptly, but then immediately, in a flash, he saw his son again with pain in his eyes at the thought of bringing his mother sorrow and stopped. His approach changed.
" No " he admitted " I'm not, even if I want to. I can understand that you want to be at least a little independent of me or others, but I must confess that I would be happier if I could know all of your thoughts.”
The queen nodded but did not speak. She knew her lord and knew difficult those words must have been for him.
The taste of a won battle is as sweet and intoxicating as the new wine, but she also knew that it was not a definitive victory, nor, perhaps, would there ever have been.
When her father had granted her in marriage to the king, she had not, of course, opposed the marriage, nor could she have done so because it had been set up by the family and because such a great honor could not be refused without attracting the resentment of the king and the court.
However, she had soon learned to love and respect him and, again, she had not rebelled when he had made her understand that his palace would also be her golden prison, since he did not tolerate the idea of not being able to control her actions and her life in the midst of the multitude of noble courtiers, who attended the court, ready for flattery and adulation, whose rules were solely those of amusements and assiduous courtship of the ladies (queen included). Thus, she would have to accept living practically as a recluse in her own apartments when he was not present. For this reason she had preferred to establish residence in that country castle where she felt freer than in the city palace, where a thousand eyes would have spied on her every minute and where the large rooms, suffocating in their gaudery, without that air and that light that flooded her "rooms" at all times, would have made her sad like a poor captive bird.
Besides, her king loved that castle a lot and when he came to visit, especially in the hunting season, he was always quite cheerful and open to generosity and courtesy. Everyone told her that at court it was never like that and she was