Benjamin Disraeli
My pain can make me very judgmental toward others if I allow it to. Having judgments against others is a way of putting my own expectations upon them, instead of accepting them as they are. If a person does not behave, speak, or think the way I believe they should, then perhaps there are flaws inside myself that I need to take a closer look at.
I cannot expect others to instinctively know how my pain is affecting me at any given moment. People I may judge as simply insensitive to my pain may be going through problems of their own—and what a wonderful opportunity that might be for me to get outside myself and help them. But if I’m too busy judging them, I miss it.
By being nonjudgmental, and by accepting others as they are instead of expecting them to fulfill my needs, I have an easier time in recovery from both my addiction and my chronic pain.
Judging others makes my pain worse. Pain recovery is being free from judging others and instead practicing acceptance and love.
CRISIS INTERVENTION
PHYSICAL BALANCE
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
Seneca
When I read Pain Recovery, I made a “crisis intervention plan” for times when my pain would become seemingly intolerable. This plan was based on who I was when I first entered recovery, but this plan, like the rest of my recovery, is constantly evolving.
If I have a flare-up of pain today, what is the best course of action for me to take? When I first made my crisis intervention plan, I might not have been able to walk one hundred feet, let alone the mile I may perhaps be in the habit of walking today.
I am prepared for such good and not-so-good days, because with chronic pain those not-so-good days will certainly come. I can be in the habit of certain exercises, but on “bad” days, it’s best for me to know what exacerbates the pain and what helps me deal with the pain. Perhaps it may hurt that day to walk, but it might be the best thing for me. It’s best to know in advance, with a crisis intervention plan.
I make sure my crisis intervention plan is current. I am prepared for how and what I can do physically when I have a flare-up of pain. I am ready when the time comes, so I know exactly what to do, rather than letting the pain decide what I’ll do that day.
LACK OF FOCUS
MENTAL BALANCE
“Little by little does the trick.”
Aesop
Painful experiences such as job loss, financial difficulties, and legal problems can cause me to be mixed up and lack focus. When I’m in this state it creates physical difficulties. My head aches. My body weakens. Depression sets in, brought about by stress. The final result is increased pain.
I reduce my stress by doing the next right thing. I avoid procrastinating, knowing that “procrastination is the thief of time.”
When I’m mixed up and don’t know what to focus on next, I focus on my recovery. I take positive action by doing the next right thing, writing about my recovery or taking a moment to read recovery literature. I make sure I’ve called my sponsor. Then I focus on one thing that needs to be done, be it paying a particular bill, balancing my checkbook, or taking out the trash. Prayer helps focus my mind to help me accomplish the next right task in front of me, thus reducing my stress. Reduced stress—a simplified plan of action, one step at a time—improves my health and reduces my pain.
I regain focus and sort through my mixed-up thoughts and feelings as well as simplify my life by taking care of the small things that need to be done that are directly in front of me. I owe it to myself to try to lead a stress-free life. By taking care of the little everyday things that need to be done, I can focus on what’s important: my recovery.
SERVICE
EMOTIONAL BALANCE
“The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.”
Benjamin Disraeli
The emotional pain I experience can help me grow. I achieve emotional balance by walking through this pain, and one of the ways I have learned to do this is through service to others. Service takes my focus off myself and my pain, and puts my focus on helping someone else. Working with another person often helps both of us experience the “riches” of recovery.
Through service work, I achieve balance in other areas of my life, and this helps with my chronic pain. Being of service helps me tremendously in all areas of my life, but particularly when I feel like I’m suffering from emotions that come up when actively working a pain recovery program.
Whether at a twelve-step meeting, with my support group, in the community, or in other ways that I discover through working with my counselor, sponsor, or therapist, I am of service to others today.
TOLERANCE
SPIRITUAL BALANCE
“Tolerance has helped me calmly surrender my need to control people and/or situations. It allows me to step back, clear my head, and get a better perspective without going into the over-the-top dramas I tend to create in my mind.”
Tails of Recovery: Addicts and the Pets That Love Them
In active addiction, I could tolerate nothing without abusing pain medication. Before I knew it, I had turned a useful tool (medication) into a tool of destruction, because I believed I needed it to cope with my life and my pain. Then I entered recovery, and as my head cleared, I realized that in the process of trying to fix my chronic pain I had broken my ability to handle life on life’s terms.
One indispensible ingredient of a life of peace and harmony is an acceptance, or a tolerance for, all the feelings I experience on any given day. I embrace multiple feelings, and am able to do this through an increased spiritual connection with a power greater than myself. Left to my own devices I cannot tolerate anything, but with the help of a loving higher power I can tolerate all that life has to offer.
I build my tolerance for all my feelings by continually focusing on my relationship with a higher power. I set myself expectations that I am able to reach. I do not set myself up for failure. Instead, I try to set myself up for success. Having faith that my pain is tolerable for the day allows me to focus on my recovery.
HONESTY
RELATIONSHIPS
A lie is really just a timesaving device, and if it makes me look better than the truth would, so much the better. If it gets me whatever I want and helps me avoid some unpleasant reality, that’s best of all. At least that’s what I used to think.
The Soul Workout: Getting and Staying Spiritually Fit
There are lies of commission, and lies of omission. When I don’t tell you how much I need your help, that’s a lie of omission. That’s dishonest.
Today