But, if Gramma said: “bacon, eggs, toast and jelly”
in her sweet, prolonged, intoned, musical way they
would become unforgettably lovely in your memory forever.
Mother took on her mother’s lovely and playful tones
and her speech had something of a prayer that deified things.
Already in the second grade the discipline of her school work
was taking mother into a logic that was on the alert for
any mistakes or any self-deceit that might hinder truth.
The teacher gave her spelling exercises and checked each letter
and began to develop in mother a careful precision that tried
to get everything on the map of life and in the book of life just right.
And mother’s attitude guided her words in style, form and content.
I.1.8 In the Peace of a Gentle Touch
From her mother and her practice mother learned how
to comfort a lamb, or cat, or dog in distress and to hold
and rock her baby brother in the way of soothing peace.
In her concern for the troubled other she could take
an hysterical animal or a panicking child and quickly
bring him or her into the complacency of a pleasant peace.
The joy of her agapeic attitude and affirmative mood
reached out into the healing caress of her fingers and
with their touch into her words so that she was a peace maker.
Her touch spoke volumes and her thoughts and words touched so
that anyone who came into her presence was touched by an angel.
Gramma Coates had something of a fun play in her voice,
a near devilish twinkling in her dancing brown eyes
and a healing power that could calm the devilish in her touch.
But Gramma Coates as an only child had a sprite’s breeziness
while mother as a first child who learned to mother young
was a more serious and efficient calmer of troubled waters.
The Episcopalian ladies of Spokane became daughters of
the Rebecca Lodge and in their service club they volunteered
like their counterparts in the Masonic Lodge and had good fun
as they built small communities with their work together.
Gramma Coates was an expert of extroversion in her sociality
and conviviality and mother followed her example, but not quite,
for as more introverted and tranquility orientated mother took time
with the laying on of her hands whether she was teaching her
children to comb their hair, tie their ties, or brush their teeth.
Her common sense from childhood on that aimed at excellence
was more hands on and inner-world serious in its care.
In the third grade mother was riding to school on horse back
with her six year old sister, Mildred, holding on behind her.
And mother was a natural teacher and she helped the teacher
teach the first graders their reading, writing and arithmetic.
I.1.9 In the Construction of Upbuilding Deeds
Gramma Coates knew that our deeds as works of love
are all important and she knew how significant her example was
for her children and everyone just as Aunt Sadie’s had been.
Mother believed with her mother in performing good deeds
and she also sensed that good intentions are not enough.
Gramma Coates had allowed grace to heal her heart and she
prayed: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
We do not know what we do for our deeds are motivated by
preconscious forces in the attitudinal moods of our very bodies.
In order to upbuild our loved ones and ourselves we have
to cultivate totally constructive creeds with positive canons
and codes of behavior that are not negative and judgmental.
Because of the complexities of our relationships, as we see
in the case of Gramma Coates and mother, we are very limited
in our knowledge and in the logic of our thoughts, words and deeds
but we trust in goodness despite the evils that threaten us.
We can cultivate becoming the-glass-is-half-full persons
and by putting ourselves in healthy relations stop giving in
to being the-glass-is-half-empty persons or born losers.
As Mother identified with her mother’s agapeic heart
and her truth pursuing mind and her spirit’s quest
for excellence and her body’s habit of constructing
a healthy immune system, Mother was already in the habit
of performing deeds that would cultivate the soil of a good heart
that could bring forth rich fruit from trees in the good earth.
That proverb: “By their fruits you shall know them”
pragmatically guided mother’s mother and thus Mother
who as a nine year old girl was like St. Paul freed
from self-indulgence to perform the works of love
that could serve others in cultivating love, joy, peace,
patience, gentleness and all those fruits of the spirit.
In the mother-daughter bonding mother received a loving faith.
I.2 With Her Mormon Father
I.2.1 In the Logic of the Triad
Levaur Paul Coates was as proud as could be when his little daughter,
Joneva Mae Coates, was born in Hailey, Idaho, on September 6, 1917.
What a relief it was that everything went so well, for as soon as
Leona had her first rhythmic cramps they got in their Ford Pick-Up
and quickly drove the thirty five miles to Hailey, and Dr. Fox
and his nurse at once took care of the anxious, soon to-be mother.
Levaur checked in to a near-by hotel and from there kept watch.
The next morning Leona introduced him to his daughter and she was
well formed and healthy and normal and everything was alright.
And the daughter did identify with the mother in all the deep down
and important ways and was well mothered in her young, joyful
mother’s land of milk and honey and she grew up secure in herself.
Her father was always there too as he worked hard with the sheep
and the whole outfit,