Clueless in Galilee. Mac Barron. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Mac Barron
Издательство: Ingram
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Жанр произведения: Юмористические стихи
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9781681922355
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Is This Your Card?

       (Matthew 17:24–27)

       But What About the Plan?

       (The Book of Jonah)

       Let’s All Just Calm Down

       (Luke 9:51–56)

       But What About Us?

       (Matthew 19:23–30)

       Why Yes — I Am a God

       (Acts 14:8–12; Acts 28:3–6)

       Peter, the “Mean Girl”

       (Matthew 20:1–16)

       Have Oil, Will Travel

       (Matthew 25:1–13)

       Your Son or Your Ox?

       (Luke 14:5)

       Those Wicked Rebels

       (Matthew 18:21–35)

       I’m at Least as Bad a Parent as Mary or Joseph …

       (Luke 2:41–49)

       You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet

       (John 1:47–51)

       Can Somebody Get Jesus a Fig?! … or a Sandwich!

       (Mark 11:12–14)

       Can’t Win for Losing

       (Luke 8:27–39)

       Yeah, Yeah, Yeah … But Who Is the Greatest?

       (Luke 9:46–48)

       “You Serious, Clark?”

       (John 3:4)

       The Right to Bear Arms

       (2 Kings 2:23–25)

       “Sow What?”

       (Luke 8:4–15)

       Dullards for a Reason

       (Luke 9:43–45)

       Jesus as Uncle Ben

       (Luke 12:41–48)

       “The Woman YOU Gave Me”

       (Genesis 3:8–12)

       Persistence … Over and Over Again

       (Luke 11:5–10; Luke 18:1–5)

       Too Excited to Think Straight

       (Acts 12:6–16)

       Preface

      Hi.

      My name is Mac, and I’m a joke-aholic.

       Hi, Mac.

      (If you’re Catholic, you just read the bold part out loud. If not, no worries. There’s nothing intrinsically Catholic about this book.)

      I’ve spent my adult life (I’m a convert) sitting in Mass, listening to solemn readings and snickering, leaning over to my wife and pointing out the absurd turn of phrase or two. I’ve sort of infected her over the years, so that more times than not she’ll lean back over and come up with something even funnier. I’d be jealous of that, but she had to birth our children.

      My point is that I finally have an outlet through which to pour twenty years’ worth of silly inner monologue out into the public. To Our Sunday Visitor, I thank you for this opportunity … and I am not responsible for any legal fees incurred.

      Before I get knee-deep into a book, I like to know a bit about the author, so here goes: I’m from South Georgia — like, way down South Georgia … like, the deep South. I grew up Protestant and became very active in my faith in my teens. I knew one Catholic family. The oldest son in that family has been my best friend since our first day of kindergarten. So whatever damage I do to the Faith with this book can be traced directly to Dr. Jay and Nancy Dallas of Arlington, Georgia. Their oldest son, Ben, is now Father Ben Dallas and is a fantastic priest serving in an undisclosed parish within the Diocese