Mind-set is everything because if I had had a different perspective, things could have gone in a much different direction. In those years I never once thought of myself as poor. It did not even enter my thoughts — not because I worked at keeping those ideas away but simply because I never identified with them. This is a key outlook.
My perspective on my relationship with money during that phase was that everything I needed would be provided for, and somehow it always was. It was at this time that I began to make the connection between money and spiritual laws, which we will discuss in full later in the book.
A blessing and a silver lining was meeting my husband. Everything fell into place quickly, just as I had envisioned, including his deep bond with my daughter. Soon thereafter we got married and bought our first house. This gave me the opportunity to go back to school and on to graduate school, where I majored in social policy and management.
A Life of Service and Contribution
The idea of making a contribution, being of service, and making a difference has always mattered to me. It led me to follow in my father’s footsteps and focus on the public service arena. My work contributed to many initiatives, including Canada’s first-ever legislation for people with disabilities; creating equal-opportunity policies for disadvantaged groups; and helping women achieve financial independence. Over the years, I assumed progressive senior leadership roles with a broader span of influence and large teams, and I was managing and spending eight-figure budgets. My executive career in the public sector was very rewarding.
My relationship with money became harmonious. There was a consistent flow of abundance and blessings, which enabled our family to live comfortably. My daughter was happy and thriving, which is, of course, the greatest blessing for a parent. We enjoyed vacations abroad, a large home, and beautiful things and surroundings. By this time my humble beginnings seemed like they belonged to a distant past.
It seemed like a charmed life. The only issue was that I persistently felt like I was meant to do something more, to be more, and to realize a much broader mission. Although I had all the trappings of success, something was missing. My body was signaling me to get connected with what I needed in order to feel joyful, but I was too busy to pay attention. My days felt like I was in a scene from The West Wing television show, with endless crises to solve and meetings to chair. I felt driven to get results, often eating lunch late in the day or not at all, and working late into the night. While making a contribution through public service was a big motivator for me, it began to take its toll.
Life always has a way of making you pay attention, usually in a dramatic way. I experienced a turning point with my health in the form of burnout, induced by stress, which impacted my low-functioning immune system. There were days where I could not get out of bed, despite my best efforts. Simply put, I was depleted physically and emotionally. My quality of life was declining, and I knew that something had to change. This experience was the jolt I needed to reassess what I truly wanted.
This reassessment ultimately led me to walk away from a successful fifteen-year, six-figure career to follow a deeper calling. I had just received my postgraduate designation as a professional certified coach, so I knew the timing was perfect for a new adventure. I quickly decided to hand in my resignation, which shocked many people because I was at the height of my career. But I wanted to start a new and meaningful chapter and begin my entrepreneurial journey, so I took a leap of faith.
An unexpected and wonderful opportunity occurred shortly after I left my career. An invitation arrived to attend a gala event, along with my former team, to receive a prestigious award for our work making a difference in the lives of hundreds of thousands of children, youths, and their families. This award of excellence is given only to a select few, so I cherish it as the perfect ending to my public service career, knowing that I made an impact.
The Call
Life is like a beautiful mosaic in which all the intricate pieces of our experiences fit together to prepare us for the next step of our journey. No one experience is a waste, even if we regard it as minor or insignificant. My years of experience in senior leadership positions granted me firsthand experience of women’s empowerment and the importance of realizing financial independence and self-responsibility in regard to money.
When I began working with women as a life coach, I noticed that sooner or later, the conversation always turned to the topic of money. Money was a source of either worry or fear, or both. It seemed to be the key factor that people attributed either to a life well lived or to a life that was difficult and constrained. Somehow we started to equate having money with having permission to live fully and well.
As I began to work with women entrepreneurs, I realized that money is emotional currency for women and is innately connected to their sense of self-confidence and self-worth, and that these emotions are further heightened when these entrepreneurs are generating income in their businesses.
Personally, I believed I had harmonized my own relationship with money long ago. Yet when I became an entrepreneur, it took me back to my childhood and my feelings about money and past experiences that I had forgotten. I had to say, “Oh hello, old friend. You’re back.” This made me realize that there is always room for more personal growth and that this growth had to start with further healing and harmonizing my relationship with money. I resolved to work with top coaches and mentors, who assisted me in breaking through my mental and emotional blocks and resistance regarding money, helping me to move forward.
This work included releasing and changing my old money story, related to old habits of overspending, which had kept me stuck, frustrated, and disconnected from manifesting wealth in greater abundance. There was a misalignment between what I believed I deserved and what I truly believed was possible for me to manifest into reality. Once I started to believe that my ability to transform people’s lives and create a positive ripple effect was a direct reflection of the prosperity that could also come into my life, everything began to fall into place with greater flow and abundance.
Full Circle
Sensing a great need to help women transform their relationship with money, I began to focus my efforts on learning more about this captivating relationship, receiving certification and training specifically in the area of women and money, as well as creating tools and strategies to help women make breakthroughs from within. I founded my company and combined my twenty-year leadership experience, expertise, and training, as well as my lived experience, into expressing my life’s work. Today I am on a mission to empower women to rise and thrive as leaders, as entrepreneurs, and as professionals — living lives of purpose, wealth, and significance while being a force for good in the world. In many ways it feels as if I have come full circle. Am I entirely free of money-related anxieties? Certainly not. Nor are those with vast incomes. Here is an example: In the last season of her TV show, Oprah Winfrey interviewed J. K. Rowling, author of the bestselling Harry Potter series. She asked Rowling about her feelings regarding money, and her perception of herself now that she is known as the first billionaire author. Rowling noted that the great gift of money is freedom from anxiety, but given her past experiences as a single mother living on government benefits, she will never take it for granted and never completely stop worrying about it. Both Winfrey and Rowling came from humble beginnings, have attained enormous fame, and are self-made billionaires, yet they still think about the security of their wealth.
I believe that nurturing, strengthening, and being at peace with my relationship with money is a lifelong commitment. Some situations still trigger emotions for me; however, I have the mind-set, tools, and strategies in place to help me move forward with greater joy, grace, and ease than ever before. You can have this too. It gives me great pleasure to be able to share my journey with you.
CHAPTER SUMMARY
• Whatever your past or current challenges with money are, they do not define who you are or dictate your future. You are in charge of your destiny. You can make powerful choices to create