‘Antoine! Not here,’ she chided him. ‘You don’t have any morals at all!’
He would so much have liked to. But how do you explain these things? As the years went by, she was becoming more and more bourgeois. In a sense it was reassuring, because with all the artists who came to lodge with her for the winter, she could easily have been making love every night. But she joined him later in his bedroom and left him the next morning, shaking him vigorously as she went.
‘Antoine! Your daughter …’
‘What about my daughter?’
‘She’s going to be late for school …’
There were rituals, then. Every time he visited he drove their daughter to the Saint-Tropez primary school. With a ribbon in her hair, dressed in pastel colours that went with her Nordic complexion, Antoinette made an arrival that the children chattered about for weeks.
‘Uncle Antoine, the other girls, they really want to be me.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘Their uncles don’t have Bugattis.’
‘Well, I’ve always had one, so it doesn’t seem very unusual to me.’
‘Will you come and fetch me at lunchtime?’
‘Yes, if you like.’
He returned to have breakfast at the hotel. Three painters were there. He didn’t recognise them and so, reserved as usual, he pretended to ignore them. The dining room was full of pictures, some of which commemorated unpaid bills, others Antoine’s purchases. It was beginning to acquire a reputation, and people often came a long way to admire the Derains, Dufys, Dunoyers de Segonzacs and Valmincks hanging on its walls. Théo was starting to worry.
‘Soon there won’t be any more room … What are we going to do with all these daubs?’
Marie-Dévote, whose instincts were more sensitive and who overheard what passing visitors said, was beginning to see the daubs as a good investment.
‘You don’t know anything. One day they’ll all be famous, and then you’ll be following them around, begging them to do you a drawing on the paper tablecloth.’
‘You’ll always know how to make me laugh.’
*
When he was at Saint-Tropez Antoine dressed in old trousers and a turtleneck sweater and went for long walks along the beach, during which he contemplated his life. He would have liked to rectify two of its big events, his marriage and the war, but in its present specifics it pleased him. He had to acknowledge, for instance, that Théo’s equivocal indulgence added fire to the few nights he spent with Marie-Dévote. If Théo had not balked at letting him enjoy her more freely, she would have had more power over him, and perhaps his appetite for her would have been sated. He loved her without her being close to him, and in truth no one was really close to him, not even his children, Michel, Geneviève and the two Antoinettes. He was essentially a shy man and, like most shy people, had impulses of tenderness that were not always returned. He was realistic; he harboured no illusions about Charles’s friendship, or the love of Marie-Dévote or Mireille Cece. Money stimulated warm feelings, and that was what one used it for, to create those momentary illusions. Without money, he would have known nothing, and if he happened not to have any one day, his existence would be a desert and no part of it would be worth living.
He left the beach and came back through the woods. He loved the fragrance of the pine groves and the silvery-pale sheen of the olive trees. At Saint-Tropez, as he waited for school to finish, he paused at La Ponche beach and sat on the terrace of a fisherman’s bar. The weathered boats pulled up on the shingle were unloading red mullet, bass and rock lobster. He drank a second pastis, and his lost rapture returned. No one talked about the war here. Had it ever happened? He could almost have believed that the past twelve years had wiped it from memories and hearts, if he himself hadn’t continued to be troubled by terrible dreams. And then there had been the death of Léon Cece, from the live grenade he had clutched to his stomach so that he exploded like a pig’s bladder. Others like him were still suffering, but now they hid themselves away. Their morbid trains of thought disturbed the pleasures of peacetime and put the younger generation off their food. Léon had killed himself so that he would stop being a blot on the world’s happiness. At La Ponche Antoine gradually found himself talking to everyone. When he bought a round the fishermen exaggerated their southern accents, and he was not fooled: that too was part of the act that everyone was putting on and that seemed, year by year, to become more real than reality.
As soon as Antoinette appeared at the school gate, she ran towards the Bugatti and climbed in next to him.
‘Uncle Antoine, will you take me for a drive?’
He drove her as far as Grasse to buy fougasse flatbreads still warm from the oven, which they ate with bars of chocolate as they rolled slowly back to Saint-Tropez. They had bought perfume for Marie-Dévote, who loved to soak herself in lavender water.
‘How are you my uncle?’ Toinette asked. ‘You’re not my papa’s brother, or Maman’s, yet everybody says I look just like you.’
‘I’m the uncle of your heart. When you love a little girl very much from the day she’s born, she gradually starts to look like you.’
‘Is that really true?’
‘Truer than anything! I swear it.’
Antoine left then, before his heart got any softer. At Roquebrune he parked outside Léon’s restaurant, which had been renamed Chez Antoine after it was extended. Mireille greeted him with a well-rehearsed tantrum and then, when her sulking and reproaches were over, this strange little vine shoot wrapped herself around him, locked the kitchen door and gave herself to him among the pots and pans. A waitress drummed on the door and went away laughing. Antoine usually stayed for a day or two, never longer, attracted by a basic and violent desire, but was eventually driven away by Léon’s ghost, which wandered through the house with its terrible smashed face, impossible to contemplate. The restaurant was doing well, and Mireille had discovered that she had ambitions after she had been written up in the food columns of several newspapers. When Antoine arrived her mother faded into the background. Sitting on a chair at the roadside, her hands lying in her lap on a grey apron that partly covered her black dress and cotton stockings, she fixed things and people alike with a look of complete vacancy, like an Indian fakir trying to escape from his earthly self. Her relations with Antoine were limited to a nod when he arrived and left. Mireille was not, strictly speaking, beautiful in the way that Marie-Dévote was, but her ascetic skinniness, the fire in her eyes, her blue-black hair curled tightly about her small face, emphasising her sharp features, the nerviness of her body with its taste of saffron, and the impression she gave of being ready to flare up at the slightest spark, attracted Antoine irresistibly. Yet each time he left her without regret. She was too fiery for his temperament, and he was afraid of getting burnt. On the road back he stopped again briefly at Saint-Tropez, kissed Marie-Dévote and Toinette, listened distractedly to another of Théo’s new plans, and drove north to Aix where he stopped at Charles’s garage but, less vulnerable to its owner’s charm, listened noncommittally, not to his war stories this time – that era had been exhausted – but to his fabulous speculations for Provence’s future.
Ah, the wonderful way back! The Bugatti sang. Antoine worked the engine hard up the Rhône valley, and as though it preferred the roads that led to cooler climates where it could carburate more happily, it gobbled up the kilometres, glued to the road and without a squeal through the bends, flew up the hills and strained at the descents. At garages where he stopped, mechanics flattered the engine with their caresses, scarcely daring to touch it, so perfect did it seem, like the creation of some heavenly watchmaker or a wizard of the road.
When he arrived home from his trip of February 1930, Antoine was surprised to see that work had already started in the part of the park he had sold at the end of the previous year. In flagrant disregard