Think of a time in your life when you felt like a person of influence tapped into your greatness. Maybe it was a coach. Maybe it was a teacher. Maybe it was a relative. Maybe it was a boss. Maybe it was a mentor. Somebody who typifies, to you, the idea of the ultimate coach, who’s able to reach inside you, pull out your brilliance and have you step right into it.
An instance or person might jump into your mind, but if not, it’s worth it to your process to stop for a minute here and really think about it; reflect on leaders you’ve experienced and seen, and that feeling of stepping into your own greatness which someone else found or sparked for you. If you’ve never experienced someone’s impact that way yourself, imagine what it would be like. Think about a leader who you’ve seen even from afar or in history and envisioned having that affect… or even one you wish existed.
Now that you’ve pinpointed that person, think about the characteristics that stood out about them. How would you describe the role they played for you?
You wear all kinds of hats during the day. Over the course of even a week, there are so many different roles that you play and juggle all the time. Sometimes you really are the manager, just keeping everything on the rails and moving forward. Managing situations is one thing, yet your people need you to lead them. So how often do you get to be that kind of influencer, leader, the ultimate coach, able to find their greatness and have that multiplier1 effect where people can step up to be even better, smarter than they might otherwise? We’re going to increase whatever frequency and capacity you have there, but first let’s break it down a bit.
Think again of that ultimate influencer—all the characteristics it takes to be a person like that. You can zoom in on that specific person in your life, yet also imagine all the great coaches in the world and the leaders you aspire to be like, and tag them with one-word descriptors—adjectives to describe them or the roles they play. Could be things like patient, model, brave, courageous, fierce, empathic. Here are a few examples from influencers I think of often:
• Steve Jobs: visionary, powerful, uncompromising
• The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: communicator, visionary, teacher, soul-searcher
• Oprah Winfrey: disarming, empathic, human, model, brave
• Ghandi: still-yet-strong, focused, deeply powerful
• Phil Jackson: Zen, grounded, holistic, multiplier, winner, expert, strategist
Take a few minutes to add to the list on the next page. Add any words that come to you as you think of the ultimate coach, leader or influencer. This page will come to be important and the most-referenced page in this book for you later on, so take your time here and leave a little space somewhere on the page to add a few more words as they come to you throughout.
Actually pause here to fill up the next page before you read on
| VISIONARY | STRATEGIST |
| POWERFUL | UNCOMPROMISING |
| COMMUNICATOR | TEACHER |
| SOUL-SEARCHER | DISARMING |
| EMPATHIC | HUMANE |
| MODEL | HUMAN |
| BRAVE | FOCUSED |
| RISK-TAKER | STANDARD-SETTER |
| TRUTH-TELLER | CHEERLEADER |
| MIRROR-HOLDER | RELENTLESS |
| QUESTIONER | CHALLENGER |
| BELIEVER | ANALYST |
| POSSIBILITY-HOLDER | SHARER |
| HAMMER | INSTIGATOR |
| TRAILBLAZER | FRIEND |
| MEASURER | BEACON |
| PARTNER | ORCHESTRATOR |
| ADVOCATE | FORECASTER |
| AGILE | MEDIATOR |
| CALL-MAKER | LISTENER |
Nicely done.
Now, let’s just compare that list with you as a leader on any given day.
Here’s the big question…
Are you all of those things as a leader?
If you answered “not exactly,” or some version of “no,” let me rephrase the question…
Have you had at least a moment of being each one of those at some time as a leader?
Of course you have!
So, then the answer to the original question should be “Yes, I am all of those things as a leader,” because if you’ve had at least a moment of them all, then we know that you’ve got them in you somewhere. Now we just need to pull them up, out and kicked into gear when you really need them. Or present more consistently, right? Right.
On our way…
As you look through those particular words, which ones jump out to you the most?
Possible
You probably see descriptors that you’d most love to be able to step into and embody all the time as a leader, just like those influencers you imagined, yes? These are not the things you’re already great at, but ones that you’d love to embody if we could tap your brilliance as a leader in your best moments; or attributes you’d have if you’d already become the leader you’ve always wanted to be. As we go through the rest of the book, I’ll guide you in different ways to channel a lot of these qualities seen in the most inspiring and motivational leaders; not just managers who get stuff done and get stuff out of people, but leaders who do that and make major impact in a positive way as people grow. To make the process most meaningful for you, it may help to think now of those influencers or legendary leaders you most admire, and pin down the descriptors that best capture their brilliance you’d like to emulate. Look through your list and identify three different words—the three that strike you the most as what you’d like to exemplify or be more of; important attributes worthy of aspiration.
Mark those three words in one of your colors (green, preferably) right now.
Consider: What would the impact around you be if you were able to embody those three distinctions on demand, consistently?
Easy
Now let’s zoom in on what’s most accessible all the time—what’s already working. You’re currently having impact as a leader, and there are some definite patterns to how that’s happening. So, look at the list again, and this time pick out the three words that best describe you most of the time as a leader. These are the Unconscious-Competent ones, which you typically just are without thinking about it. These are your default settings as a leader. It’s always good awareness to walk yourself from autopilot back to Conscious-Competence so you have a clearer view of your own patterns and more self-aware choice at your fingertips.
Consider: Wouldn’t it be great to expand this list, especially to include some of the green ones you circled a few minutes ago?
Challenge
Next, let’s look at the bad news. Check out the list one more time, and find (or imagine—they are likely not on there) the descriptors of you on your worst days as a leader. These are the descriptors you’re least proud of, but that you know pop up in your most unfortunate moments as an influencer. I know this isn’t the fun part, but being able to call it and tell the imperfect (or even damaging) truth about ourselves is critical so we can get it up in clear view, in order to do something about it and consciously see other options going forward. The more visible something is, the more control we can gain over it. That which stays hidden or we try to avoid seeing keeps looming—running us in the background. Get it exposed, out and handled.
With a new pen color (red, ideally), come up with three of these bad-news descriptors on your Options list, then lightly cross them out (so you can still read them but get that they’re not the best options). To make you feel better, here are my least proud (and now mostly contained, thanks to TIG), not on the list:
STEAMROLLER
SARCASTIC