When Tom and Arlene learned they were to have a baby, Tom wanted to celebrate immediately. He rushed to the nearest toy store and purchased what he wanted most, a large set of LEGO blocks, something he had never gotten to play with as a child. Actually, the time he took to use the new LEGOS relaxed and satisfied his own unmet childhood needs. From the set, he created a large animal to decorate his baby’s room and proudly installed it on a shelf.
Although it was a while before Annie, his two-year-old daughter, got to play with her first starter set of DUPLOS; her daddy had lots of fun with his own set. Over the two years after Annie’s birth, Tom and Arlene learned to shop more selectively. They have made wise purchases of toys that can be used also by their second child, whom they expect soon.
It’s a given—grown-ups buy toys for kids, even little babies, with which they themselves would like to play!
You are your baby’s “Play Guide,” so select those first toys carefully and be guided by the baby’s basic abilities and needs. As he grows, these expand and change. Watch him explore, observe his responses, and use the development information in this book to interpret his behavior. Each child is unique, of course, and often acts differently from the “average” as described for his age.
Pay close attention to the age range on toy packages. These will usually serve to guide you on appropriateness. However, you are the final authority on your little one. Do not rush her into activities she is not ready for or, on the other hand, don’t limit her to age ranges she’s obviously beyond. You have been observing her behavior, interacting with her, and have read about how her development relates to the toys you choose for her. Trust yourself.
Baby’s First Big Toy
If you accept that you are the most important “First Big Toy” in your baby’s life, the one special person who will feed, talk to, sing with, stroke, bathe, and play with, and also your baby’s first contact with the world, then you can see how important it is to take good care of yourself physically and emotionally, before, during, and after pregnancy.
Prepare for Baby’s Arrival
Having clear communication between you and your mate will help resolve many of the questions. Before your baby arrives, it is vitally important that you are both prepared with good health, good attitudes, and reasonable expectations.
To prepare for your baby, visit friends and learn what toys, activities, and ideas have worked for them. Start your “Playbook”. Enter notes from your reading, and benefit from the extensive research in child growth and development. New information has led to improved guidelines, more books, excellent toys, and the increased production of carefully tested products.
Make a useful and inexpensive toy or two for your new baby. Easy step-by-step instructions and patterns for creating them are available in good crafts books. Even making but one special toy will be a cheerful project and get you pleasantly through days of waiting. For those of you who have never been into knitting, sewing, or carpentry, you might find that waiting for this new life is a different kind of time.
For example, a simple sock puppet is easy to make, especially for “non-crafty” people, and it will charm your little one for a long time.
For the more experienced (or those determined to become so), consider creating a rag-crocheted doll or teddy bear. A knitted stuffed unicorn or kitten to cuddle will warm baby in many more ways than one, and for more years than you’d expect.
In your Playbook, start a “Baby Gift List”. When people ask what gift to give the newest family member, consult your notes to advise them. Create a record of presents. In one column, list the toy or indicate if a check was received, and record the name of the person who gave the item. You might also wish to include information such as the date you received the gift and date that the thank-you note was sent.
Your thank-you note should always specifically mention the toy and comment on the child’s reaction (favorable, of course). As a particularly thoughtful gesture, why not send along a photograph of your baby, if possible, with the toy (and keep a print for the Playbook, too)? If the gift was money, include a photo of the toy it purchased. The picture will be a special treasure to the gift-giver, and it is a rewarding expression of your appreciation.
Early Shopping for the Baby
Timing is important. Giving something to your infant before she is ready for it will lead only to frustration, disappointment, or boredom. You may want to run right out and start buying a shelf full of dolls as soon as you learn that baby’s on the way, but it’s probably more sensible to purchase a soft, washable, baby-proof bunny rabbit or stuffed teddy bear instead.
Dolls will come later, when your child will most appreciate them.
Your rag doll—the one you made—is different. It is soft and textured, but most of all your smell is woven into it with your own hands and will bring a new baby comfort when you must be away from her crib.
Active, Creative, and Educational Toys for Baby
Three main categories of toys are the basis of your child’s “Smart Play”: toys that keep him active, toys that spur him to create, and toys that educate. Many good toys have qualities that comprise more than one of these categories and do not lend themselves to rigid classification. Your own creativeness can merge these different functions into a toy. Also, it’s not necessary in every case to separate toys into those for girls or boys, as many items satisfy the needs of both.
In this chapter I shall suggest playthings based on the purposes for which the product has been designed. For example, when you are confronted with a dozen choices of well-made rattles manufactured by many different companies, which one do you choose? Use my guidelines, and when you make your selection consider the reasons you want the item, and then observe what happens when the baby takes it, and be influenced in your further choices by his responses.
The most useful guidance I supply is to give you ideas on the best playthings for each age and suggest uses for them, and also to mention a few companies as examples. If I do not list a specific company, it does not mean its toys are not good. It may simply be that I have not yet examined the products closely.
Specific brand-name toys are not predominating in my recommendations. You will instead have a sampling of good ideas in each category with a few suggested manufacturers. Your toy store should be able to supply you with examples in each category. If the specific type you seek is not in stock, it can be ordered for you.
Don’t forget to take lots of pictures during this first year. Photographs taken of your baby and the objects he plays with will bring both of you enjoyment and delight in the future.
Baby Is Ready for Gentle Play
Your baby is born with all of the senses necessary for play. She sees, hears, tastes, touches, and smells. During this period your baby observes, experiments, and begins to master her environment. She absorbs sensations that prepare her for playthings—hearing your voice, hearing laughter and music; feeling shapes and textures like papa’s bead, mama’s nose, brother’s woolly sweater; tasting dad’s linen shirt and mom’s wedding ring; and seeing lamp lights, blanket shadows, movement. She smells her soap, the pine tree outside her window, her mother’s aroma; her father’s jogging sweats, and her brother’s peanut butter snack.
The way you and baby’s family play with her from the very beginning determines how effectively she will play when she’s older. Babies who feel secure and confident reach out for pleasure and stimulation and for positive relationships. Babies who are denied such gentle fun soon withdraw and show signs of fear, lack of confidence, nonresponsiveness, and worse. From the moment of birth, the way a baby is treated affects him for the rest of his life.
The infant picks up basics from his senses. The newborn’s tactile sense and hearing are, for now, the most highly developed, although tasting, smelling, and vision advance swiftly. Therefore,