1. What attitudes could I be holding in mind toward this part of my life that would tend to awaken a sense of my spiritual ideal? (mental ideals)
2. What activities could I be doing in this part of my life that would tend to awaken a sense of my spiritual ideal? (physical ideals)
Each day for the next week make an effort to express these mental and physical ideals in the relationship. Make a written record of the situations in which you were able to do this.
“With this ideal once set, there will be no fear. There will come to each of us that grace to dare to be a Daniel, to dare to stand alone.”
The spiritual path is full of paradoxes. One we encounter frequently is between (1) the apparent necessity to take each step for oneself and to be alone, and (2) the teaching that we are our brother’s keeper and that we are part of a larger community of seekers bound together by a fundamental unity. How are we to resolve this dilemma? There is a call from deep within us to know and experience our oneness with others, and yet the demands of growth often force us to be alone and draw upon our own resources and personal ideals.
The important distinction perhaps lies in the difference between conscious and unconscious oneness. The most frequent demonstration of unconscious oneness is a mob of people who have lost themselves in the emotional frenzy of some cause. In a sense there is a oneness to this group, and yet the oneness was achieved without each individual having first become aware or conscious of his own inner nature. The individuals were caught up in the flow of circumstances rather than exercising the divine gift of will.
God’s purpose for us in the earth is to experience a conscious oneness. To do this we must first come to know our true nature as individual spiritual creations. Then we will be able to see the underlying unity of all life. Here is the demand of spiritual evolution: to be able to stand alone. Even Jesus found it necessary to take time to go off alone in the wilderness to re-establish the awareness of His true nature through prayer and meditation. In the same way, the readings encourage us to set a spiritual ideal that will provide a source of personal inner direction that is stronger than any outside influence. It is not that we are to close our ears to the ideas of others, but we are to remember that our final decisions must be based upon the highest that we know within ourselves.
Ideas may be as thoughts, made criminal or miracles. Be sure the ideal is proper. Follow that irrespective of outside influence. Know self is right, and then go straight ahead.
1739-6
Experiment: Be aware each day of the way in which others can influence your decisions. Do you have a tendency to go along with others to keep from having to face discord, even though it may not be consistent with what you know is best?
Each day of this week make a special effort to be sensitive to the opinions or desires of others, but then make your decisions based upon your ideals (even if it means standing alone). Record situations in which you were able to make decisions in this way.
“Offenses may arise, yet with each and every fear there is that from within which will quiet our troubled minds, even as He quelled the tempest on the sea.”
How do we deal with those troublesome situations that cause us to forget the ideals that we have set? In setting ideals we have specified a direction for growth, but how do we get back to that source of inner direction when we are troubled or confused? A specific tool that we find in the readings is the use of an affirmation. We are all familiar with the way in which an affirmation can be used in the silent period of meditation. Its function is to quiet and focus a mind that wants to wander. We can use an affirmation in the same way in our daily lives.
For each area of life and each relationship for which we have set ideals, we can choose a short statement that affirms the reality of those qualities within us. This affirmation may be words that we ourselves write (e.g., “The Lord gives me strength to be patient and speak kindly”) or teachings from sources such as the Bible (e.g., “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” as an affirmation for the ideals we have set for our source of material supply). There are three important things we should consider in selecting these affirmations: (1) the words must be personally meaningful, (2) the words should awaken a sense of our ideals, and (3) we should write them down and memorize them. In a moment of difficulty or confusion we can say the appropriate afffirmation that we have memorized, feel its inner meaning and re-establish a contact with that source of life-direction contained within our ideals.
Experiment: Choose one area of your life for which you have set ideals. Write an affirmation (preferably just one sentence) using your own words or words from another source that are especially meaningful to you. Let that affirmation contain a statement of the ideals you want to manifest. Memorize the affirmation. Each day in your relationship with that person or area of your life use the affirmation whenever you feel confused or troubled. Say the words to yourself and feel their meaning as a tool to re-orient your thinking and acting.
Example:
| relationship: | John |
| Mental ideal: | trust |
| Physical ideal: | encourage and compliment him |
| affirmation: | Like myself, John is a spiritual being, and I can trust him and reflect the good in him. |
“Let me see in my brother that I see in Him whom I worship.”
We are all familiar with the concept of projection. Someone tells us that we have a certain personality characteristic which we don’t think we have, and so our response is to say that he is just projecting—it is really his own characteristic. An insightful way of understanding projection comes from Dr. Frederick Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy. He writes:
“In projection we shift the boundary between ourselves and the rest of the world a little too much in our own favor—in a manner that makes it possible for us to disavow … aspects of our personality.”
(Perls, The Gestalt Approach, p. 37)
One way we can interpret this passage is with the diagrams below. On the left is a picture of the true condition. Things within the dotted circle are truly a part of the self. On the right is the process of projection. The dotted line is still the true boundary; the solid line is the imagined boundary between the self and the outside world. Therefore, a characteristic that is truly a part of self is often perceived as being outside the self, in someone else.
Illustrating this principle of projection, a statement we often hear is, “The things about others that irritate us the most are our own worst faults, or we would not be able to see them.” As is frequently the case, a truth is being expressed in its negative terms. We could say something equally true: “The things we love and respect in others must be in us as well, or we would not be able to see them.”
This type of projection seems to be expressed in the last line of the affirmation for this chapter. We are invited to project the highest ideals that are within us (“that I see in Him whom I worship”) onto other people (“let me see in my brother”). In looking for our ideals being expressed by others, we can affirm that those ideals are within us as well. This type of projection is a tool to help us manifest our ideals in the material world.
Experiment: Choose one of your mental or physical ideals which you have set. Each day be aware of instances in which others are able to manifest that ideal (e.g., if you choose “kindness” you would look for situations where others were expressing kindness). As you are aware of a person expressing the ideal, affirm that this quality is also within you or you would not have noticed him manifesting it. Record the person’s name and the situation each time you complete this experiment.
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