Experiments in a Search For God. Mark Thurston

reason we do not listen is that we often feel that the speaker expects us to have our response as soon as he is finished. We are frequently uncomfortable if there are long periods of silence between someone saying something to us and our response. And so, we may listen carefully to his first few sentences and then begin to formulate our response while we listen only half-heartedly to the rest of what he says. When we remember that it is fine to wait until the other person is through talking before we start digesting and thinking through what he has said, then we can begin to listen more effectively and be a better helper.

      Experiment: Listen to others. Don’t let yourself get caught in being overly concerned about a particular approach or technique to listening. Refrain from thinking of your response while the other person is still talking. You may find it helpful to say to that person something like. “Those were some really important thoughts you just expressed. Let me think about them for just a minute before I respond.” Record instances in which you feel you really were able to listen.

       “It is only when we sever relationship from divine Love by failing to suffer with our fellow man, to bear his burdens, and to forgive him that we are out of harmony and sympathy with all that makes life worth living—fellowship with the Father.”

      Attunement is necessary for the experience of fellowship. The great prayer of attunement is the Lord’s Prayer. In Matthew 6:14-15 we find that Jesus comments on only one portion of the prayer after He has given it to His followers: the portion concerning forgiveness. It would seem that He wanted especially to call our attention to the necessity of letting go of resentments or angry thoughts if we would be attuned (i.e., have fellowship).

      We find the same principle in the affirmation for this chapter. “Though I approach Thee in humbleness and have aught against my brother, my prayer, my meditation, does not rise to Thee.” This process is illustrated in the following diagram:

      Our work is to let go of our involvement with patterns in awareness that block fellowship. This was the message given to the first Search for God Study Group as they compiled the material for this chapter.

      Q-3. Please give each member of the group, as I call their names, an individual message on true fellowship.

       A-3. Let each examine themselves first, that they may know that within their own hearts and minds that must he purged, that there may be true fellowship with Him.

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      Experiment: Select one pattern that you frequently hold of resentment toward or irritation with another person. Each day for a week work with letting go of that pattern. Stop feeding it and giving attention to it when it comes to your mind. Even though a part of you may enjoy entertaining it, affirm that the reward of knowing fellowship with God will be a greater experience. Keep a record of your experiences of knowing a greater sense of fellowship in this way.

       “Then let us seek him out and, in spite of the rebuffs that we may receive, love him, not for what he appears to be, but for what he really is …”

      A major thrust in the Search for God material is to take the initiative in brotherhood. We must discover what is within us that makes us fail to reach out to another simply because we don’t know him. Is it fear of the unknown? Or is it fear of being asked to take on more responsibility for another than we want to assume? If we know ourselves we can’t use the excuse, “I didn’t reach out because he was a stranger.” To know the inner nature of ourselves is to know everyone because we are all of the same essence.

      Sometimes we don’t share with others the truth that we have discovered because we realize the possibility that it may be rejected or that we wouldn’t be understood. However, it is important that we take the initiative not only to greet others, but also to share what we know and to minister to the needs of others. We must be daring and be willing to take the risk that we may be misunderstood.

       They that are whole need not the physician, but who having a herd of sheep and loses one does not leave the ninety and nine and seek for that one lost? So, in thy ministering be rather in that of daring to do even for those that would not understand …

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      Experiment: Take the initiative in speaking to others (especially strangers) and showing your love for all mankind. Do those things that you know will be helpful, risking the possibility that you may not be understood or appreciated. Record your experiences.

       “What greater love could He have shown than to lay down His life in service for His fellow man …”

      Jesus literally gave up His life in service to others. We may not be required to be martyred to fulfill our purpose for being in the earth, yet the concept of giving our lives for others still has a special meaning. One way that we give our lives is by sharing the part of the life force of which we are custodians. In a moment of passion some people have exclaimed that they would die for a particular cause or person. However, a more meaningful question might be, “Will you live for that cause or that person?” Often the day-to-day effort to give of our life’s energy in a loving way requires greater courage than dying.

      We also give of our lives as we share the truth which is at the center of our lives. Giving truth in this way, as an expression of the deepest kind of friendship, is described in the following passage from the readings.

      Be the best of whatever position thou doth occupy; as a wife, the best wife in the whole community; as a friend, the best friend; and there is the friend that sticketh closer than the brother; yea, the friend that gives rather his life for a friend. Ever gave ye the truths that thine brother might enjoy even a moment’s rest in the Lord?

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      Finally we can give of our lives to others as we choose to let go of a habit, desire or opinion that hinders someone else. These things are of the personality, and it is in the spirit of love and friendship that we lay them down for the sake of others. This doesn’t sound as dramatic as laying down our lives through death, but it can sometimes be just as significant.

      Experiment: Give of your life to someone else. Select a person and write down his or her name. Then choose one of the three approaches to giving your life which have been described: (1) making a special effort to give of your life energy to that person through whatever activities are needed most, (2) making a special effort to share with that person the truths at the center of your life which you have discovered through experience, or (3) giving up one of your habits, desires, or opinions that is causing that person difficulty. Decide which of the three approaches you will use and write that down. Keep a record of your experiences in giving of your life to this person.

       “Let us help our fellow man by our patience and forbearance and show him that love is a living thing.”