Joe gave her a strange look, his gaze fixing on her hand. Of course. She’d just touched his leg. It had been an unwitting move. There had been no intent. But she doubted she’d helped things.
She gave her head a tiny shake and shot him a look of apology. ‘Nice to meet you, Rob and Ann.’ She waved at the screen as Regan climbed onto her vacated spot on the sofa.
She reached the door and glanced back. Regan had started talking again quickly, regaling his grandparents with stories from the nursery. But Joe’s eyes were fixed on hers.
She couldn’t quite tell what the expression on his face meant. Was he angry at her? Annoyed? No.
It was almost like…something else. As if a veil had just lifted from his eyes and he was seeing her in a different light.
The tiny hairs on her arms stood on end as her skin prickled instantly. She lifted her hand in a silent wave and ducked out the door, crossing the ground to her own house in double quick time.
When she opened her own door she closed it firmly behind her and stood for a second, leaning against it. What was wrong with her? Nothing had happened. Nothing had been said. But every cell in her body was on red alert. Her heart was racing. And somehow she knew it wasn’t from her burst of quick walking.
But there was something else. Something more subconscious. His parents were lovely, and clearly good fun. But she’d noticed something. It couldn’t be helped. It was obvious.
They’d been in the garden of their home. Their very large home. She had no idea about how people lived in Scotland, but she could tell a very large home and beautiful gardens at first glance. It all meant money. Joe’s family was rich. And she had experience of rich families.
Her stomach twisted uncomfortably. There was obviously something wrong with her. Why had those thoughts even come into her head? Joe was only a work colleague. Nothing else. She was merely being hospitable.
But if she was only being hospitable, why did the fact he had a rich family back in Scotland make her want to run in the opposite direction?
She closed her eyes for a second and leaned her head back. This was crazy. She was crazy. She just wasn’t quite sure what came next.
Regan was oblivious to the subtleties of adults. He took every question about Lien at face value and blurted out answers left, right and centre.
Joe sat quietly cringing. The only thing was, he couldn’t help but smile. He could read his mum and dad like a book and shook his head at a few of their more inquisitive comments, pretending he hadn’t even heard them.
Eventually, he grabbed Regan and pulled him onto his lap. ‘Say goodnight to Grandma and Papa. It’s time for bed.’
His mother pulled a face and started to blow kisses. Then, just as they were about to disconnect, his father shot in a quick comment. ‘Love to Lien!’
Joe was sure the second the connection ended they’d be hugging each other. He spent the next half-hour settling Regan into bed and making up some story about pirates, before making his way back to turn out the lights. ‘Not as good as Lien,’ Regan murmured in a sleepy voice.
Joe left the room smiling and glanced out of the window. The pale lilac door was taunting him. Begging him to knock on it.
None of this had been planned. When Lien had appeared at the door it had seemed only natural to call her over to say hello to his parents. He’d half hoped it might give them some reassurance that he and Regan had actually settled in.
Instead, it had opened a whole new can of worms.
He felt his phone buzz and pulled it from his pocket. A text from his mother. Three words.
We love her.
Nothing else.
Guilt swamped him. What was he doing? As soon as Lien had sat down she’d fallen into the family conversation with no problems and been an instant hit with his parents.
He couldn’t pretend that hadn’t pleased him. He’d liked the way they’d exchanged glances of approval and joked and laughed with her.
But it also—in a completely strange way—didn’t please him.
Part of him still belonged to Esther. Always had. Always would.
He’d found love once. He’d been lucky. Some people would never have what he and Esther had.
How dared he even contemplate looking again?
His mother had pushed him here to start living again. Not to find a replacement for his wife.
The thought made his legs crumple and he slid down the wall, his hands going to his hair. For a few seconds he just breathed.
He was pulling himself one way and another. Guilt hung over him like a heavy cloud.
He knew why he was here. He knew he’d been living life back in Scotland in a protective bubble. It was time to get out there. That was why he’d accepted the tickets and climbed on that plane.
But what he hated most of all was that he did feel ready to move on. He was tired. He was tired of being Joe the widower. It had started to feel like a placard above his head.
But part of him hated the fact he wanted to move forward. He was tired of being alone. He was tired of feeling like there would never by anyone else in his and Regan’s lives. He was tired of being tired. Of course, he had no idea about the kind of person he was interested in. The truth was, the few little moments that Lien had caused sparks in his brain had bothered him.
It had been so long and he couldn’t quite work out how he felt about everything yet. Of course he’d want someone who recognised that he and Regan were a package deal. He’d want someone who could understand his usual passion for this work. These last few weeks had mirrored how he’d been a few years before. Every day there was something new to learn. Someone new to help. It was what had always driven him, and he knew that, for a while, he’d lost that. But Vietnam was reawakening parts of him that had been sleeping for a while.
He lifted his head and peeled his damp shirt from his back and sighed. Too much thinking wasn’t good for a man.
LIEN FINISHED WRITING up the notes on her last patient just as one of the nurses stuck her head around the door. ‘Lien? I know it’s late, but Joe asked if you’d mind dropping in at his house on the way home. There’s something he wants to talk to you about.’
She couldn’t help the way her face automatically curved into a smile. It seemed the nurse noticed too as she gave Lien an amused glance. ‘Okay, then, see you later.’
Lien glanced at her watch. It was late. Regan would likely be sleeping by now. She couldn’t help but be curious. What did Joe want to talk to her about?
She washed her hands and pulled her shirt a little straighter, then walked across the grounds towards his blue door.
She knocked lightly, waiting for only a second before he pulled it open with a tired smile. ‘Come in.’
He was wearing a white T-shirt and some lightweight jogging trousers. From the way he had papers scattered across the table he’d been working on this for some time.
He gestured towards the table, indicating she should sit next to him. In the last few weeks he’d made this place a bit homier. There were now a few pictures scattered around, and it looked like he’d finally got around to buying a laundry basket to get on top of the washing. She could see a haphazardly folded pile of clean clothes