Lauren protested at first – she did actually like buying locally – but it wasn’t cheap. And a trip to the supermarket meant an opportunity to stock up on some necessities.
She’d asked Joel if she could borrow Sam’s car seat, and once the girls were at school, she loaded Sam into Troy’s car and off they went. She felt slightly nervous. This was one of the few times she and Troy had been properly alone, – Sam didn’t really count – since he’d moved to Heartsease, and she was conscious that too long in his company awoke familiar and unwelcome feelings.
‘So how are you finding it here?’ said Lauren, more out of a desire to fill any awkward silence, than because she really wanted to know.
‘Do you know, I’m loving it,’ said Troy. ‘I’ve always felt so rootless before, but I like Heartsease. I could really see myself here in twenty years’ time.’
‘What, you?’ said Lauren, laughing. ‘I thought you were the eternal wanderer. Wherever I lay my hat and all that.’
‘Yes, well. Wandering can lose its charm,’ said Troy. ‘I’ve learnt my lesson there.’
‘What happened to your last girlfriend?’ Lauren couldn’t help but ask. Troy was the kind of guy who was never on his own for very long. She was quite surprised he hadn’t hooked up with someone in Heartsease already, given that she’d made it clear that she wasn’t having him back.
‘Lisa? We drifted apart,’ mumbled Troy.
‘You mean you got bored and ditched her,’ said Lauren.
‘No, actually,’ Troy looked faintly embarrassed. ‘She ditched me. For … for a toyboy. Can you believe that?’
Lauren burst out laughing.
‘Now that’s what I call poetic justice. Don’t worry, studmuffin, I’m sure there are plenty of people who’ll be foolish enough to fall for your charms. Just please don’t break the heart of anyone I know.’
‘I wasn’t planning to,’ said Troy. ‘The thing is, what with Lisa ditching me and Dad showing up at the same time, I began to realize what I was missing.’
‘Oh, and what’s that?’ Lauren said lightly, as she put two packets of Coco Pops in her trolley and tickled Sam’s chin.
‘You,’ said Troy simply. ‘I’ve realized I’ve been missing you.’
Joel was grateful that Kezzie hadn’t turned up early. He wasn’t sure he could face her that morning. Idiot. What did he think he’d been doing kissing her?
There had been a few women since Claire, but they’d been fairly meaningless encounters to fulfil a physical need, and make him feel less lonely. But as soon as anyone had tried to get close, he’d made polite excuses and moved on.
But this, with Kezzie – in a moment of weakness, he’d let her get too close and it wouldn’t do. It made for an incredibly awkward situation. She was in his house such a lot. He liked her but he wasn’t sure he was ready to entrust his heart to anyone yet. He didn’t know if he would be able to ever again. He’d try and tactfully tell Kezzie when he got home.
But when he got back from work that night Kezzie wasn’t there. She clearly had been, as a cup and plate were neatly stacked on the drainer, and her boots were sitting outside the back door. She must be as mortified about last night as he was. Damn, he’d have to try and speak to her tomorrow.
But the following day it was the same. Kezzie arrived after he left, and was gone before his return. The only sign of her having been there was the daily progress on the garden, which was finally beginning to take shape. Joel was impressed with what Kezzie was doing; the patterns did look like hearts, and she’d cleverly woven the initials E and L into the centre, just as on the original plans. It was going to be fantastic. He should tell her so, if he ever got the chance to speak to her again that is.
On Friday he found his moment, as he arrived back slightly earlier than usual. He came home to change first, before picking Sam up, and encountered Kezzie walking up the garden with all her equipment, clearly on her way to tidy up.
‘I was beginning to think you were avoiding me,’ said Joel, feeling embarrassed.
‘Well I am,’ said Kezzie. That was Kezzie, nothing if not direct.
‘I hope it’s— look, Kezzie, I’m sorry about the other night. I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong idea.’
‘What wrong idea?’ Kezzie looked blankly at him, suspicious.
‘You know, because I kissed you,’ said Joel, beginning to sweat profusely. ‘I’m sorry, it was a mistake.’
‘You mean you’re not going to whisk me off my feet and ask me to have your babies?’ said Kezzie.
Oh God. He’d really cocked this up. This was going to take some recovering from.
‘Er – no.’
‘Thank God for that,’ said Kezzie with a grin, ‘because I don’t want to have anyone’s babies, least of all yours.’
‘That’s a bit deflating.’
‘Would you rather I told you, you’d broken my heart?’ said Kezzie.
‘No.’
‘Well then,’ said Kezzie. ‘Let’s stick at being friends shall we? I think we’d be better at that.’
Joel felt a weight slide off his shoulders. He enjoyed Kezzie’s company and hated to think of things becoming awkward between them.
‘Are you sure?’ he said. ‘I’d hate to think I’d upset you.’
‘It’s not that I don’t like you,’ explained Kezzie, ‘I do, a lot. But the other night made me realize that I really am not over Richard, and I don’t think you’re over Claire. We’ve both got far too much stuff to sort out.’
‘You’re right,’ said Joel with relief. ‘Thanks, I’ve been really fretting about it.’
‘Don’t,’ said Kezzie. ‘Let’s just enjoy being friends. I think romance is overrated, don’t you?’
‘Possibly,’ said Joel. ‘But don’t you think you’re stopping yourself getting over Richard? Hiding yourself down here, never seeing him? It’s like you’re running away. I think you should use Summer Fest as an excuse to try and contact him and pump him for gardening contacts. That way you might get a feel for how the land lies.’
‘Hmm,’ said Kezzie. ‘Suppose he doesn’t want to talk to me?’
‘And suppose he’s been waiting for your call?’ argued Joel. ‘You won’t know until you try, will you? I know if it was me and Claire, I wouldn’t think twice.’
He sighed, and looked away.
‘At least you still have a chance,’ he said. ‘What have you got to lose?’
Edward and Lily
1900–1914
The years passed, and the children grew. In time another sister came to join the family.
Our new baby is called Matilda, Edward wrote in his diary, in the summer of 1900. I have planted peonies for her in the knot garden. She is a plump and smiling child, and Lily dotes on her. I feel so blessed that despite our early heartache we have such a perfect family. And Lily I love more than ever. Tending the knot garden together, with the children playing around us, is the greatest of joys. My only sadness is that Lily still seems unable to love Connie the way that I do. I try to make it up to her, by loving her for both of us …
Edward