There had been no chance of that happening back home, which was why she’d come here in the first place. There was always someone there, offering guidance and advice – one friend even going so far as urging Maria to ‘get back in the saddle’. She’d been unable to form a reply and instead excused herself. Get back in the saddle indeed, she’d grumbled while stalking off. The very thought had Maria quaking in her boots (or rather, slippers, which she’d become rather fond of instead of actual shoes). She’d needed to get away.
Where she was staying now, Maria couldn’t have done much better in terms of beauty and stunning scenery. The village of Loland Green was tucked away in the lush Shropshire countryside. Until Geraldine had mentioned the area, Maria had been oblivious to its existence. Afterwards, curiosity getting the better of her, she’d looked it up online, and had been pleasantly surprised by the visual results. It was very… green. Very green, indeed. To Maria, the fact that it appeared quite isolated from the surrounding areas was a massive bonus. And the cottage was gorgeous, nestled on Daffodil Lane, the aged exterior swathed in climbing ivy and glorious rambling roses that only seemed to be growing wilder with the passing days.
After a horrendous couple of weeks following the discovery of her husband, Mike’s affair, Maria had had no choice but to go back to her mother’s house seeking refuge. She’d let Mike remain in their home, unable to stay there herself. Looking back now, perhaps she should have been firmer and told him to sling his hook. She’d been too shaken up to be assertive or in control at the time. She’d needed the easy way out so she’d taken it and ran back to the woman who’d always known her best.
Heading back to Ellen’s had been humiliating to say the least. Ellen Charm had fussed around her as if Maria were a child again, gradually becoming more and more unbearable by the day, although Maria knew that was how Ellen showed that she cared. She was motherly and nurturing, and sometimes that was interpreted as fussy and overbearing.
Maria remembered the day Geraldine had popped by and offered her the use of the Daffodil Lane cottage. Still in her pyjamas with her hair un-brushed and dirty socks on her feet, Maria had merely grunted in response to Geraldine’s suggestion that she get away while all this blew over. How could almost eleven years of marriage merely ‘blow over’? It wasn’t a slight slip-up, it was the end of an era. Her married life to the man she’d said her wedding vows to had been smashed into smithereens, and Geraldine thought it would all blow over?
Maria had been tempted to tell Geraldine to bugger off but, as always, Ellen had the last word.
‘Oh Maria, stop with the self-pity. The trembling voice. It doesn’t suit you, darling. Geraldine has offered you the perfect opportunity to get away and enjoy some “you” time, and you’re refusing it? No. I don’t think so. You may be thirty-two but you will listen to me and you’ll listen good, do you understand? You will take this offer. You will go to Loland Green, and you will sort yourself out while you’re there. Mike was a selfish bastard, that much is true, but I refuse to let my only daughter crumble into dust because of a man’s lack of control and loyalty. In case you’re forgetting my dear, I’ve been through this too and I can tell you now, it wasn’t easy, especially with two children, but I’m still alive and kicking, and you will be too.’ Ellen had taken a calm sip of her tea then, as if she hadn’t just said what she had.
Maria didn’t think she’d ever heard her mother make a speech like that before, with so much passion behind her words. She’d quickly agreed to Geraldine’s offer. Now here she was in Loland Green.
‘Cooked breakfast for two?’ Rob peeped over the top of his menu and waggled his brows up and down, bringing Maria back to the present. ‘And is it two sugars you take with your coffee? I can’t remember.’
She nodded in reply and Rob rose from the table and headed towards the counter against the furthest wall. It looked resplendent with a display of floral teacups arranged artistically upon a cake-stand, conjuring up an image of a dollhouse she’d had when she was little.
Maria watched Rob as he weaved through the tables, approaching the counter and the woman behind it with pure confidence. He walked like no one could stand in his way, which was such a huge contrast to the shrunken slouch she’d become. She used to be confident too. Not in an arrogant way, but in a way that ensured she felt good about herself. She’d been confident of everything, actually. But now? She felt like she wasn’t even a quarter of the woman she’d once been and it broke her heart even more.
A glass cabinet stood to one side of the counter, and the shelves within housed rows of deliciously moist slices of cake. She admired them from her seat. Behind the counter but reachable by the customers was a small fridge with packaged sandwiches and bottles of fruit juice and water. The walls were chocolate brown with delicate accents of plum, the colours working surprisingly well, Maria thought to herself, as she continued to look around. There was a small log-burner in the corner, although it wasn’t lit. She could imagine it made the place even cosier when crackling away during the colder months, with the lights turned low and the bitter frost shut outside.
Rob returned to the table. ‘Right. All done. Shouldn’t be too long. Drinks are being brought over in just a sec. So tell me, how have you been? It feels like it’s been ages since I last saw you. Well, it has been ages.’ He settled back in the chair, waiting to hear all about it. He looked good, Maria noticed. Skin glowing and clear, and his dark hair styled into place neatly. She remembered him as a gangly teenager, and it brought a smile to her lips. He’d gone through a phase of wearing a long, greasy fringe that partially covered his face, and a taste in music that had constantly made the walls of their childhood home vibrate. How he’d changed as he’d grown up. From that teenager Rob had grown into a young, smart man, and following that, a role-model husband and father. And the fringe was, thankfully, long gone.
It had been a while since they’d last spoken. Before she’d taken off for Loland Green with her suitcase packed, Maria hadn’t exactly been the most sociable of people and it hurt to think that she’d shut him and the rest of her family out. She’d never intended to do such a thing but at the time, she hadn’t been able to stop and make herself think about it properly. ‘I’m okay,’ she answered, avoiding eye contact, but it was no use. If she was hoping to make him believe that she was absolutely fine then she may as well have given up right there and then. Sighing, she turned her face towards the window, and it provided her with a perfect view of the street outside. She couldn’t help feeling that the cover Rob had managed to sort out at work in order to come and see her had been for nothing. He was a man on a mission, it seemed.
It had grown busy since they’d arrived. Parents ushered their children towards the school just around the corner, and people laden down with shopping bags from the supermarket further up the street hurried past, some with a friend beside them and some alone, busy and rushing to their next destination. It was nice, watching the place come to life like this. It made her feel as if she was part of it all again, life happening all around her.
‘Terrible,’ she admitted eventually.
Rob studied her with concern. There really was no point in lying to him. He knew her inside out, and even trying to lie would make her feel so very guilty. They’d always been close and he’d confided in her so many times, she couldn’t shut him out any longer.
‘I guess you could say I’m not coping very well,’ she added, realising that he was waiting for her to elaborate. It was the understatement of the century. She wasn’t coping at all. She felt like she’d lost whole months of her life somewhere along the way since it had all gone wrong. Days of darkness and sadness trailed out from behind her, like chunks of bread helping her to find her way home. She was too deep into the woods to return to the person she’d once been, and the reality of being divorced from the man she’d planned to spend the rest of her life with didn’t make sense to Maria. She felt like she’d suddenly swapped lives with someone else. One thing that constantly poked at her was the fact that she didn’t think she deserved this sort of pain. It was a childish thing to consider, but she’d been