“Velascos. Gabriel Velascos.”
“And I’m Arabella Burke,” she told him again. This time he was definitely paying attention. “Most people call me Bella.”
His smile turned warm for a fraction of a second. “That’s a pity. Arabella is a lovely name. It suits you, Arabella.”
His voice dropped its pitch just a fraction. Went smooth and silky, like a fine cognac. Was he actually flirting with her? His wife had been dead less than three days and he was already flirting?
It caught her off guard, shocked her. Under different circumstances she might have been flattered by it. But under these circumstances she wasn’t sure what she felt, and in response she donned her best, most professional expression. “I’d still like to have someone else observe Ana Maria for a little while, since you’re emotionally involved.” But maybe not as much as he should have been. Unfortunately, all her initial good impressions of Dr. Gabriel Velascos were starting to melt away, and now she wasn’t sure what she was feeling. Pity, for sure. And a little anger mixed in. Maybe some confusion, too. “I’ll be back in a moment, Dr. Velascos, after I’ve consulted with Dr. Navarro.”
With that, Bella escaped into the hall, all too glad to be away from the very puzzling Dr. Gabriel Velascos. All too breathless over him too, which made no sense whatsoever.
* * *
Well, he’d called it right. Thank God Ana Maria’s problem was only an intolerance to the goat’s milk, as he’d expected. That was easily fixed. And the rest of it…one step at a time. One lousy step at a time. He’d get her milk intolerance straightened out, then think about what came after that. That’s all he could do—just take care of the baby the best way he knew how.
“A baby. I have a baby.” Dear God, what was he going to do with a baby? Yesterday he’d been a man without attachments, today he had a baby. His sister’s baby. “A baby.”
Saying the words out loud, or thinking them…either way, his breath caught in his throat for an instant, threatening to asphyxiate him with the complications of what those four simple words meant—I have a baby. “A baby…Lynda’s baby. My baby.” He whispered the words reluctantly, trying them on the way he tried on a pair of new shoes—cautiously at first, to see if they fit, then, only after they did, deciding if they were comfortable enough to keep. The only thing was, if a pair of shoes didn’t fit, he always had the option of asking for another size or simply walking away from the store empty-handed. But with this baby—Ana Maria—no matter how much she didn’t fit his lifestyle, and there was definitely no give in there for her whatsoever, he couldn’t just send her back and ask for another size, or walk away altogether. Lynda had been so excited to have a child…she’d cherished her pregnancy, lived for the moment she gave birth. So many times over the months she’d told him how being a mother was her destiny, so how could he walk away from that? How could he walk away from what had meant the world to her? And from his own flesh and blood?
He couldn’t. That was his answer, and also his problem. Ana Maria’s father had walked away, but he couldn’t. “My baby,” he said one more time, hoping that by saying the words they would somehow bring about a magical change in his dilemma…like Lynda really being alive, or Hector having a change of heart and welcoming his new baby girl into his family after all.
Neither of those things were going to happen, though. Practicality was one of the traits he counted on most when nothing else worked, and, being the practical man he considered himself to be, he couldn’t see anything else working here. No miracles. No flights of fancy or fantasy. He had a baby now. And nothing changed the fact that those simple words were causing his stomach to churn, his head to pound, his whole world to spin, and his destiny to be cast into directions he’d never looked forward to for himself. Not like this, anyway.
His baby, maybe. But what the hell was he going to do about it?
“We’ll get it figured out,” he whispered to Ana Maria. He didn’t look at her, though. Not too closely. For now it was best to keep her at a distance. Protect her, care for her, but keep the emotional attachment under check until he could figure out what to do. “Whatever happens, Ana Maria, I promise that no matter what I do, it will be in your best interests. You deserve better than what you’ve had so far, and I’ll make sure you get it.” It was a promise he took to heart, and one he didn’t know how to fulfill.
Finally chancing a quick glimpse of the baby in his arms, Gabriel caught her looking up at him, her big eyes full of…was that trust? No, babies that age didn’t trust. They couldn’t even focus. For the most part they merely existed, and responded to their environment. The way Ana Maria was looking at him right now was only a response, probably to his voice. She wasn’t used to hearing a man’s voice, that’s all. But when he risked another quick look to confirm his diagnosis… damn it, he was positive he saw trust again. “Don’t do that,” he warned. “Not with me, because it won’t work, Ana Maria. You can look at me that way all you want, but it’s not going to work.”
Her eyes were so beautiful, though. As beautiful as Arabella’s eyes which, he thought, had been the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. Except in Arabella’s he saw sadness. She held it back, but it was there, and he did wonder what made such beautiful eyes so sad.
Pulling Ana Maria a little closer to him, he assumed a natural rocking action, waiting for Arabella to return, and within seconds Ana Maria was fast asleep in his arms. If only life really was that simple.
“They really don’t have the facilities here in the clinic to keep her, but Dr. Navarro said he’d have his office nurse watch her for a couple of hours to make sure she’s getting along better.” It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it would do. And the baby would be under observation for a short time, which made Bella feel a lot better. Gabriel was also a doctor with so much emotional turmoil, and Bella knew, better than most, how that could play on good judgment. She was glad Nurse Melaina Juarez had agreed to keep watch for a while.
“Look, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done, Arabella. I think that while they’re looking after Ana Maria here, I’ll go and make arrangements for the formula to be sent.”
“So before you leave, maybe later today, would you like me to have another look at her?”
He shook his head. “You’ve done more than most people would have, and I’m sure you have things you’d rather be doing than looking after a stranger.”
Things she dreaded doing. Things she wanted to put off doing. “Yes, I do, actually. But to be blunt, Doctor, I don’t think you’re reacting normally to Ana Maria right now. You’re…too stiff. You know, doing what’s required but not with the emotional nurturing she needs from you. She’s a beautiful little girl yet you hold her like she’s made of plastic…a plastic doll. And you seem to respond to her, but in a very stilted way. Which worries me. You said you’d take care of her and maybe you mean that, but I get the feeling that taking care of a newborn is the last thing you want to do. In which case I think it might become very easy for you to overlook something in her condition. And I’m not implying that you’d mean to do it, because I don’t think you would intentionally. But with what you’ve just been through, things aren’t normal for you now, and you’re not responding as you normally would.”
OK, so maybe she was overstepping the line here, but she was concerned because she knew how it felt to go through the motions without really thinking about them, which was what Gabriel seemed to be doing. You did what you needed to do but without any emotional investment. It was like walking through a fog—your senses were distorted, you couldn’t be sure in which direction you were headed. If you were alone it didn’t matter so much, but Gabriel wasn’t alone. And she did recognize that fog around him, which was why she felt compelled to react.
“You’re very quick with accusations, aren’t you? Especially when none of this concerns you!”
“Then