“As in…what kind of milk? Mother’s milk?” She seriously doubted that was the case, judging from what she smelled on Ana Maria. “Cow’s milk?” Laying a gentle hand across the baby’s chest, she turned to look at Gabriel, this time giving him a full appraisal. Handsome man. Large. Broad shoulders. She liked the look of the locals…liked it very much, especially on this local. Ana Maria took after her father in her looks, and Bella couldn’t help but think that Gabriel’s wife must be beautiful, too. “Soy milk, maybe?”
He cleared his throat nervously. “Goat’s milk. Raw.”
“Raw goat’s milk?” That did surprise her. But there were cultural differences in Peru from those she was used to. She understood that, especially in the more rural areas. That was one of the diversities her sister had loved here. Yet Bella didn’t really peg Gabriel for the rural type. Not in the way he dressed, not in his precisely tailored haircut or the finely buffed finish of his fingernails. Not in the expensive leather dress shoes he wore or the silver wristwatch on his left wrist, which probably cost more than many people here made in an entire year. “Well, she isn’t tolerating the goat’s milk,” Bella said. “It might be an allergy to it, or it simply could be that the milk is too harsh for her newborn system. My suggestion would be to have her mother switch to breastfeeding, if that’s possible, and if it’s not…”
“Her mother died in childbirth. My mother has a goat, and that’s the only available milk.”
Blunt words, and startling. And his face was so dispassionate, the tone of his voice so thorny when he spoke that Bella shivered from his tragedy, from her own… “I’m…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” That explained the goat’s milk, though.
“Why should you?” he snapped. “You don’t know me, I don’t know you. How the hell would you know anything?”
Surprise, mixed with sympathy and indignation, assailed her over his reaction. People grieved, people got angry over the death of a loved one, and she’d dealt with all the emotions herself these past weeks. That’s why she was here in Peru now—to deal with the emotions. But she was seeing something else in Gabriel, something she couldn’t even guess at. She blinked hard, trying to disconnect herself from the growing opinion that this man was just plain ill mannered. He’d lost his wife, for heaven’s sake, and he was grieving. He also had a sick little girl to deal with, so if ever there was a reason to be rude, this man had it, and her heart did go out to him. “No, I don’t know you. But I’m still very sorry for your loss.”
“I…um…” A deep sigh followed by a barely perceptible wince escaped him as he glanced down at Ana Maria, who’d finally quit crying for the moment. “I didn’t mean to be so…” He ran an impatient hand through his hair. “Do you have any formula suggestions, Doctor? I don’t know enough about what’s available to make a good choice. And I’m sorry for—”
“No need for an apology. I understand.” She’d lost her sister and three friends only two months ago, and in the past few weeks she’d snapped at people the way he did, taken offense where none had been intended, and had found herself apologizing profoundly for her irrational behavior on many occasions.
So, yes, she did understand. Her suffering was unquestionably different from his, but she did know what it felt like to hurt so very deeply and suffer long and hard from it, and her heart ached for this man, for what lay ahead of him. “No need to apologize at all,” she continued. “And as far as a formula for Ana Maria goes, I don’t know what’s available here, but my preference for a little while would be something soy-based, just until her doctor can determine what kind of intolerance she’s built up. Back in the States, there’s a particular product I usually recommend, especially for newborns, and I’d like to see if we can—”
He held out his hand to stop her. “Done. I’ll get the formula. Give me the name and I’ll get it here. Have it over-nighted.”
A man of action. She liked that decisiveness in him. In some people it more resembled arrogance but in Gabriel it was…sexy. Except she wasn’t going to think sexy in terms of a man who’d just lost his wife. It was wrong. Just plain wrong.
Clearing her throat, hoping the diversion would clear her mind of those uninvited thoughts, Bella snapped her head toward the window and fixed her gaze on a boy in the street.
He was playing with a dog…brown and white spots. Cute boy. Cute dog. Focus, Bella. Just…focus. A deep breath steadied her as she looked back at Gabriel…concentrating on one of his shirt buttons, mid-chest. “Overnighted…good. Let me write down the name of a distributor I know, and you can tell him you talked to me. He’s usually responsive to my referrals.” She lifted her gaze to his chin then finally to his eyes again. So dark and…deep. Focus, Bella. “And in the meantime, to feed Ana Maria, I’d suggest—”
“Sugar water,” he volunteered.
He was staring at her…his brown eyes into her green ones. Causing shivers. Goose bumps up and down her arms. Focus, Bella. It was merely a sympathy reaction. “Yes, sugar water is good. As long as you keep her hydrated she’ll be fine with that for a little while, and I think giving her tummy time to settle down is wise at this point. Babies usually tolerate sugar water quite well.” There were different things she might have tried if they were someplace else, but they were here, and the simple approach seemed the best, given the circumstances. Besides, Gabriel was competent. He exuded that, and so much more, which put her at ease with her decision. “And you’re going to be just fine,” she said to Ana Maria, as she picked her up and held her close for a moment, savoring the feel of having a baby in her arms. Savoring the baby smell of her, too.
Dear God, she missed medical practice. It had been two months and it seemed like two years. She needed to get back. “Look, I don’t work here, or I’d advise keeping Ana Maria under observation for a few hours, just to make sure she doesn’t start vomiting or get dehydrated. Let me talk to Dr. Navarro, and maybe he’ll have a suggestion.”
Almost against her will, Bella placed the baby back into Gabriel’s arms. “Another trained eye is always good in situations like this, so let me…”
“I’d appreciate that. But I don’t want her first few days of life to be spent under watch in a medical facility. She deserves…better from me.” There was no animosity in his voice. He wasn’t arguing the point, merely explaining it. And his voice broke with those words, causing Bella’s heart to lurch. Yet what she saw…the way he held the baby wasn’t as nurturing as she would have expected. Or as protective. Ana Maria was pulled close to his body, but it was a stiff gesture, one done more from obligation, or from textbook learning, than his natural desire to take care of this child.
Honestly, that did puzzle her. Of course, she hadn’t lived his life these past few days. Hadn’t experienced his traumas and emotions. Perhaps he was frightened of becoming too attached to his child, especially after the death of his wife. And now that his daughter was sick…yes, his stiffness was certainly understandable, but even one as young as Ana Maria sensed that and Bella feared what might come of what Ana Maria was feeling right now…her daddy’s uneasiness.
Easy, Bella. This isn’t your medical practice. The man Dr. Navarro had called Gabriel was a stranger and his daughter was not her patient. Other than a quick exam as a courtesy to a nice doctor who didn’t have a pediatrician available, she had no business getting involved in this matter. Yet Gabriel seemed so emotionally detached, she couldn’t help but speak. “You may think Ana Maria deserves better than a short stay in a hospital, and I won’t argue with you there, but she also deserves to be watched by someone who’s qualified to see complications and signs and symptoms, and I believe—”
“I appreciate your concern, but I’m physician—well, surgeon, actually,” he interrupted. “Not a pediatrician, but I have enough skills to look after a baby.”
So he was a fellow medic? Now, that was a surprise. Or maybe it wasn’t. The man she was seeing here, right this very minute, wasn’t himself. He was under an extraordinary amount of stress. But,