“You’re turning this around, Blair. Making it ugly. And that’s not what I’m saying. I want us to be a…a family.”
“Why?” She pressed him for an answer, knowing he wouldn’t have one. Gabriel Sloan had never wanted any encumbrances in his solitary life. Things couldn’t have changed that much.
“Because he’s my son and I owe it to him,” he said, exploding, mouth tight, eyes hard as emeralds. “And because you’re his mother and I owe you, too. I should never have…never mind that.” His cheeks darkened.
So he felt guilty for that one night of indiscretion? Blair smiled bitterly. Well, it was as good a reason as any to suggest marriage, she supposed. It just wasn’t her reason, not the one she’d dreamed of, anyway. Not when she remembered her grandparents’ marriage, and from what Mac said, her parents had been happy, too.
“So tell me, Gabe, just how would this marriage work?” She’d string him along, pretend she would go along with it. For a while. It would be interesting to note just how far the great Gabriel Sloan was willing to go with this experiment at nobility.
But in the end she would turn him down cold. Daniel was her son, and she intended him to feel the love in his life. Gabe didn’t believe in love, and she couldn’t forget that.
“Blair?”
She glanced up, then at his hand on her arm. Though he moved it immediately, Blair was only too aware of his touch and her reaction to it. How could she still feel this way? Especially now.
“I want the very best for Daniel,” she began, trying to focus the conversation and direct it where she wanted it to go. “I know how much he’s wanted a father. Especially lately. He keeps asking me about you, where you are, what you do, what you’re like.”
Gabe’s face whitened. “He knows I’m his father?” His eyes were huge, his hands tight with tension as they clenched and unclenched at his side. “What have you told him?”
“He doesn’t know you are his father.” Blair fiddled with a tray of glitter that would accent the Christmas candles. “He doesn’t know anything about his father. I’ve never said a thing.”
“Then how—”
“They’ve been doing a series of projects at school about families.” Blair shrugged at his frown. “This is a little community. Daniel knows the families of the kids in his class. He’s seen two parents, a happy home, siblings. Some of the kids like to brag about their fathers.” She shrugged. “I don’t suppose his teacher thought of him as any different when they started on their family study unit.”
“Which is exactly the scene you always wanted,” Gabe muttered, peering at her. “Your ideal was always this happy home scenario, wasn’t it? I can still hear you talking about how wonderful families were. I thought it was just a line.”
And I can still feel how much you didn’t want that. Blair searched for some underlying meaning to his words, but could find nothing to show he was goading her.
“Yes, well, we all have to grow up sometime. That isn’t going to happen for me. I’ve got Mac, Willie, Albert and Daniel to look after. I’ve learned to deal with my reality. The truth is, raising a child takes a lot out of you. I’m not sure I could handle any more of them.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier if there were two of us parenting? I could take over sometimes when you needed a break. Or vice versa. We could share our son.”
It felt funny to hear him call Daniel that. And yet, Gabe was his father. He owed Daniel.
“We don’t have to be married for you to be involved in his life,” she offered, turning her back as she clicked off the switch controlling the wax warmer and began boxing already completed sets of candles. Surely she couldn’t mess that up. “If you’re so determined to stay here, fine. Build your house. Live in it. You can see Daniel, be around for him. But his home will always be with me.”
“Why are you so dead set against marriage? Once you would have jumped at the chance.” He stood opposite her, his hands mimicking her movements as he, too, boxed candles.
“I’m not against marriage, when it happens for the right reasons. You’re mixing those reasons up just like you’re mixing these orders up. You don’t know the formula.” She quickly redid the boxes he’d finished.
She wouldn’t give in to the anger, wouldn’t talk about the burn of distrust inside that still, after all these years, ate away at her. Let him think what he liked, she wasn’t going to drag herself through it all again. She’d learned her lesson, learned it well.
Forgive and forget, Mac said. Very well. It had cost her dearly, but she’d forgiven Gabe. She had! But Blair Delaney wasn’t so stupid that she would ever forget the shame or the sense of betrayal he’d left her with. Not ever.
Gabe stood, staring at her with an odd questioning look.
“Sorry. Did you say something?”
“The formula for marriage?” A twisted smile tugged at his mouth. “You always did bring chemistry into everything.”
His wink reminded her of the past they’d once shared. A past she didn’t want to remember. She shook it off like a nasty pest and focused on his next words.
“What reason could be more right than providing a home for a child?” His voice remained calmly reasonable.
Blair sighed, then turned and walked toward her office. She wasn’t going to get anything done as long as he was here. At least she could sit down for a moment, even if she couldn’t relax.
One glance told her that Gabe had followed. He folded himself onto one of her small, ratty chairs and tilted back, his eyes intent on her.
“I know women grow up with this fairy-tale idea about weddings and marriage. Fine, you can have all the white lace and orange blossoms you want. I’ll even hire a white charger if that will help. But the bottom line is that I intend to be a father to my son, Blair.”
Blair studied him with narrowed eyes, her fingers knotting in her lap, where he couldn’t see them.
“It would only be a temporary father,” she argued angrily. “As soon as somebody from your office calls, you’ll go trailing back. And Daniel will be left behind, wondering why you don’t call him or take him to his soccer games. I’m not allowing that.” She held his gaze, daring him to say what she saw glinting in the depths of his eyes.
“The thing is, you can’t stop it, Blair. I am going to have my son.”
His mouth clamped in that implacable line she remembered so well. The emphasis was unmistakable. Blair could see the tiny white lines radiating from his lips and knew he meant business. Oh, God, please make this stop!
He leaned over and wrapped his fingers around hers, holding her hand carefully in his. Blair felt herself drawn by his eyes. Something glinted there, some shred of desolate rejection that she knew involved his past.
“I just want to spend some time with him, Blair. Is that so wrong?” His voice softened, cajoled. “You’ve had almost six years with him. I haven’t had six minutes.”
There was no condemnation in his eyes, but Blair felt guilty anyway. She’d deprived Gabe of seeing Daniel’s first smile, his first step, of hearing his first word. Little joys that parents should have shared. He’d been robbed of them.
“I don’t want to take him away, Blair. Please believe that I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to put the past behind us and make something good for the future. Something for Daniel.”
She tugged, and he let go of her hand, but stayed leaning across her desk, his face serious.
“Please? I don’t want people gossiping about his parents, or the fact that we aren’t married. I don’t want him teased, mocked, ostracized. You said it yourself, it’s a small town.” He looked