‘So, I’m just waiting to see what Dr. Lowry has to say,’ Amber said, fiddling with her watch strap, her eyes looking down at the desk. ‘Waiting to find out the truth.’
Ronnie said nothing for a few seconds. He was too stunned. ‘Jesus, Amber, sweetheart. Why didn’t you… why didn’t you talk to me?’
‘Come on, Ronnie. You’ve just got married. You’ve got Karen to think of now, you don’t need me and my problems.’
He walked over to her, tilting her chin up so their eyes met. ‘Hey, now, listen. You listen to me. I will always need you, we’re a team, you and me. You’re my best friend, Amber, and your problems, they’re my problems too, kiddo, so don’t ever shut me out again, do you hear me?’ He smiled at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back, even though she could feel those stupid tears starting to well up behind her eyes again. ‘So I take it you haven’t spoken to Jim about any of this?’
She shook her head. ‘He knows I want a baby, he just doesn’t know how much. Or how difficult it might be for it to happen at all. Oh God, Ronnie, I really should have talked to him, shouldn’t I?’
Ronnie sighed, pulling her against him for a hug. ‘I don’t know, babe. I really don’t know. I mean, he is your husband, and this does concern him…’
She pulled away from him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘I’ve done everything back to bloody front again, haven’t I? What happened to the organised, controlled Amber I used to be?’
‘Hey, hang on, kiddo.’ Ronnie almost had to run to keep up with her as she made a fast exit out of the studio, heading towards the Green Room. ‘Hang on! Look, maybe it is best to wait and see exactly what it is you’re dealing with, but then you do need to talk to him.’
‘Yeah, I know that, Ronnie.’ She stopped walking and turned to face him. ‘I don’t even know if he really wants a baby. I don’t even know that.’
‘I thought you said he was fine about it?’
‘He could just be humouring me.’
‘And why would he do that? He loves you.’
‘Doesn’t mean to say he has to agree with everything I want, does it?’
‘You’re being slightly paranoid now.’
‘Am I?’
‘Yeah. You are. Why wouldn’t he want a baby?’
‘Because he’s almost fifty years old?’
‘And looks about fifteen years younger, the bastard… Look, you’re just throwing ridiculous excuses around now. I’m sure that whatever Jim’s told you, he means it. And these tests… if they…’ He stopped talking, looking down at the ground, pushing a hand through his hair.
‘You can say it, Ronnie. If I don’t get the answers I want to hear – is that what you were going to say?’
‘Amber, babe, just talk to him. And talk to me, okay? You know I’m always here. Just because some things have changed for both of us, it doesn’t mean to say our friendship has to. Does it?’
She shook her head. ‘No. No, it doesn’t.’ She looked up into his eyes, trying desperately not to let the tears that were threatening run free. Jesus, she was turning into some kind of hormonal wreck! ‘I’m scared, Ronnie. I’m scared because… because if these results come back and… and they’re not what I want to hear… I don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle that. I don’t know if I can handle that.’
Ronnie pulled her into his arms again, holding her tight, kissing the top of her head as he held her against him. ‘You can handle anything, Amber. But let’s just wait and see what happens, okay?’ He held her away from him slightly, smiling at her, gently stroking her cheek with the palm of his hand.
She nodded. ‘Okay.’ Her phone beeped again, and she pulled it out of her jeans pocket, looking at the message on the screen. ‘Jim’s here. I’d better go.’ She stood on tiptoe and kissed him quickly on the mouth. ‘Thanks, Ronnie. For being there. For putting up with me.’
‘That’s what I’m here for, kiddo.’ He winked at her, making her smile again. ‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’
She mouthed ‘I love you’ at him, before she turned and ran off in the direction of the Green Room, trying desperately to get her head together before she saw Jim. She’d already made the decision not to tell him anything until she knew exactly what she was dealing with, and maybe that was the wrong decision, maybe she should talk to him about what was happening, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to spend the night talking about ‘what ifs’, especially not the night before the first game of the new season. When she had something concrete to tell him, when she knew the facts, that’s when she’d talk to him. Because she might have no other choice.
Pushing open the Green Room door, she felt her stomach give that wonderful jolt it always gave the second she saw him, all handsome and tall, that smile of his making him look twice as sexy.
‘Hey, beautiful.’ He grinned, turning round as she walked into the room, that deep voice of his combined with that soft American accent making her stomach jolt again. ‘How’s the sexiest TV presenter this side of the Atlantic?’
‘She’s fine, thank you.’ Amber smiled, walking over to him and grabbing the collar of his dark shirt, pulling him towards her, kissing him quickly. ‘But she’s all the better for seeing her handsome husband. I have missed you so much, Jim.’
‘I’ve missed you, too, baby. Like you wouldn’t believe.’
She closed her eyes as his mouth lowered down onto hers again, kissing her longer and slower, their bodies almost melting together in the, thankfully, otherwise empty Green Room.
‘I need to get you home,’ he said quietly, his hand gently rubbing the small of her back. ‘Because I’m a little bit tired of playing by myself.’
She felt her stomach lurch again as his thumb ran lightly over her slightly parted lips, his eyes boring deep into hers. ‘I’ve been doing a bit of that, too,’ she whispered, conscious of his growing erection pressing into her, but she was unable to stop herself.
‘Did you think of me?’ He smiled, sliding a hand inside her shirt, and Amber couldn’t help but let out a sharp intake of breath as his thumb grazed her nipple, his hand cupping her breast as his mouth briefly touched hers again. ‘When you touched yourself. Did you think of me?’
‘Who else would I be thinking about?’ she breathed, closing her eyes as his lips brushed lightly over her collarbone.
‘It was thinking about you, touching yourself, that kept me going.’ His eyes met hers again, sending her stomach into overdrive. ‘Maybe we need to make some private movies, huh? So I don’t just have to imagine you doing those things – I can actually watch you.’
‘Jesus, Jim,’ Amber groaned, finally pushing him away, straightening her shirt. ‘We really have to get home. The last thing I need to be found doing is fucking the Premier League’s most successful manager in the Green Room at Cloud Sports half an hour after I’ve just done my first live TV stint for the channel.’
‘I love it when you talk dirty.’ He grinned, grabbing her round the waist again and pulling her against him for a longer, deeper kiss. A kiss that signalled, once and for all, their need to escape this place and retire somewhere a little more private.
‘Well, take me home then,